I gaped at him, surprised. “I thought you said you wanted to be cutting edge? Fresh? Sticking to what works, playing it safe…that’s how we go stale. We should surprise people on this next album.”
“Yes, surprise people, not turn them away. We want to grow our fan base, not completely replace it.”
Crossing my arms, I shook my head. “I think you’re being too technical about it. We won’t lose fans by trying new things. They’ll respect us for attempting to grow.”
Sighing, Matt looked over at Kellan and Evan. “Anyone miss the days when he just sat around and played video games while we worked?”
Evan gave him a humoring smile, while Kellan turned to me and said, “We appreciate the input, Griffin, and I actually do think you have a point, it’s just not quite the right fit. Keep thinking on it, okay?”
Irritation ran up my spine and the words Not tonight, maybe tomorrow rang through my head, quickly followed by You are never going to play lead. Guess I hadn’t let that go as much as I’d thought. Holding on to Anna’s pep talk of not giving up, I gave Kellan a tight smile in response. At least they hadn’t flat-out said no this time.
After the guys worked on lyrics that I cared nothing about, and rhythms that were good but all too familiar, we played a couple of our older songs that we’d played five million times before. I knew the guys wanted to show off to my family, so I didn’t object to playing “Callous Heart” and “Sucker Punch,” since those were two of our better songs, but I thought Matt could have offered to give me the lead, just for today, just so my parents could hear me jam. They all clapped and applauded once we were through though, even Liam, although his was more of a polite golf clap. Chelsey made up for it though with an impressive ear-piercing whistle.
We were just about to pack it up for the day when I walked over and grabbed Matt’s arm. “Hey, I know it’s your instrument, but can we do another one with me on lead…for my mom and dad?”
Matt hesitated as he looked over at them animatedly chatting between themselves. They looked genuinely proud of me, and I wanted to bolster that image of my greatness in their minds. When Matt looked back at me, I knew my parents had managed to do what I hadn’t—they’d swayed him. Looked like I would have to have them around for every rehearsal, since it might be the only time Matt let me play.
“Fine,” he said. “We’ll do ‘Killer.’ It’s not that difficult…you should be able to play it well enough.”
I bounced up and down on my toes. I was so excited. I might have Chelsey film the song, then leak it so the fans could get a taste of what a real D-Bags show should sound like. Matt handed me his guitar and I fumbled a little as I looped it around me. My fingers were shaking I was so giddy. I’d need to calm down, or else I wouldn’t be able to play. As I handed Matt my instrument, I tried to remember the song. I knew it backward and forward on bass, but it was far more complicated on lead. I was sure it would kick in once we started though.
My family looked confused, since they’d thought we were done, and I let them know the show was just beginning. “We’re gonna play one more, but Matt and I are switching so you can hear me on lead.” I looked over at Kellan and Evan. They had their eyebrows raised, but they seemed fine about letting me do this. “Killer,” I told them, so they’d know what song to play.
Evan nodded, then started tapping out the intro. I flexed my hands, letting the blood recirculate, since it felt like they’d gummed up at the wrists. Evan’s pounding drums started in, busting out a heavy beat for us all to follow. Matt and Evan looked at me expectantly, like they were waiting for me to do something. I couldn’t remember how Matt’s part began though, which was weird. I’d heard it so many goddamn times, it should be second nature, but now that it was time to play it, my mind was a blank wasteland.
With a shake of his head, Matt started in on the bass line. That’s when everything fell into place for me. Letting out a small “oh yeah,” I started in on guitar.
It took me a minute to get the hang of playing it, and even then I hit a few wrong chords. Taking a peek, I couldn’t tell if anyone noticed. I didn’t think so. Kellan joined in when his part began. It sounded weird to me, and I couldn’t figure out why, until I realized I was trying to play the bass line during a spot when Matt was typically silent. Oops. Cursing, I stilled my fingers, and waited for the guitar’s reentry. Was it after the second line or the third? Fuck, I wasn’t sure. It was so much easier to pretend to play the song than to actually play it. I made a guess that it was after the second line, and hoped for the best. Kellan and Matt both shot me irritated looks. Oops, guess the guitar came back in on the third line. Well, what the fuck? Who composed this shit? The guitar should be blaring full force the entire song. Kellan should have to shout to be heard above it.
As I glanced up at my family, I saw Liam grimacing, Chelsey flinching, and both Mom and Dad wearing strained smiles on their faces. Heat blossomed on my cheeks, and I nearly stopped playing so I could chill my face with an ice-cold beer bottle. I could do that on bass, but not on lead. I had to keep going through the discomfort.
There were a few more notes that sounded wrong to my ears, and I cursed my bandmates with each twang. If they’d let me play more often, it wouldn’t sound so awkward now. I’d be fluent, effortless. Once again, they were holding me back.
Just as I was about to toss the instrument away in disgust, the door opened, and outside sounds filtered into the room. Kellan, Matt, and Evan kept playing and singing, but the new, odd element to the room distracted me, and I stopped playing. Matt groaned and tossed his hands into the air. Evan frowned and Kellan shook his head.