Anna compressed her lips as she shook her head. “So much for curbing the swearing…”
She was rubbing her stomach, like the baby was kicking her in the same spot. It had been doing that lately. Wanting to help her out, I snapped my fingers and hailed a roadie who was walking by. “Hey you, go find a chair for my wife.” The guy, who looked about twelve, started to turn away, and I grabbed his shoulder. “And a pillow for her back.” He turned again and I grabbed him again. “And something for her to snack on.” The guy hesitated, seeing if I needed anything else. “Now!” I snapped, shooing him off.
Anna frowned as she watched the guy hurry away. “Thank you for that, I really would like to sit, and I am kind of hungry…but maybe next time you could say please when you’re demanding something?”
I took a long swig of my beer. It was my favorite microbrew, one that we’d discovered while barhopping last year. Awesome. “The day I say please to a roadie is the day I stop touring. Being on the D-Bags crew is bragging rights for those guys, and if I don’t continually knock them down, they’ll get big heads. It’s my duty to be a jerk,” I said, completely serious.
Anna’s mouth twisted into a wry smile. “Well, continue on then. We wouldn’t want any big heads around here…” Leaning forward, she kissed my cheek; she smelled like cotton candy. Delicious. Pulling away from me, she returned our conversation to its original course. “So…what did you realize?” She started massaging my neck and some of the tension instantly started leaving me. Fuck, I loved it when she did that.
With my beer, I gestured to the fans loitering around backstage. “These fans…none of them really give a shit about me. Sure, they usually recognize me as being in the band, but they don’t know what I play, what I do. And sometimes they don’t even know my freaking name. How the fuck is that even possible? All they care about is Kellan. Kellan this, Kellan that, it’s all I hear anymore, and it’s bullshit. If they love the band, then they should love all of us. Equally. It is a group effort after all.”
Anna tilted her head as she considered. “I’m sure it’s not personal. Kellan is just…larger than life, and so are his fans. But you have your dedicated groupies too. Remember the group that snuck onto the bus a couple of nights ago. That was for you, not Kellan.”
I did remember that group, how could I not? They were all armed with green dildos that they’d wanted me to sign. But even they had asked about Kellan. Where does he sleep? Can we steal a T-shirt? Does he really fart rainbows and moonbeams, ’cause he’s so super awesome like that. Ugh. I was getting sick of it. “Well, if they are going to call themselves D-Bag fans, then they should do a better job of learning about the entire band. We’re more than just Kellan, and the rest of us deserve some sort of acknowledgment too.”
Seeing through my statement to the heart of what was really bugging me, Anna cupped my cheek. “You’ll get the praise you deserve, Griffin. I promise. You’re too big a star to stay under the radar forever. Your time is coming, you just have to wait it out and be patient.”
At first, her words sent a zing of pride through me. My wife thinks I’m awesome. But the lift to my spirits was quickly darkened by a confusing mixture of frustration and hope. When will everyone else think that? I sucked at patience, especially now that I was getting so close to what I wanted. And so far too. “I don’t know how much longer I can wait, Anna. They’re holding me underwater and I’m drowning. Something’s gotta change. And soon.”
An expression passed over Anna’s face that I hadn’t ever seen before. It vanished into blandness so quickly I almost thought I’d imagined it, but deep down I knew I hadn’t. I wasn’t completely sure what it was, but it had almost looked like…fear. Or worse than fear. That didn’t make sense though. My girl wasn’t afraid of anything. Maybe I was just misinterpreting things. But just that one tiny spark of anxiety on her face made a weird churning feeling rip through my stomach. I settled the feeling by remembering her earlier words. She had my back, she believed in me. That belief was what kept me going. Anna was the fuel to my awesome-train.
Not wanting to see that expression on her again, I said something that I thought would appease her. “Nah, don’t listen to me. I’m just talking shit again. All I need is to finish my beer, then everything will be right as rain.”
A glorious smile lit up her face, and any worry that may or may not have passed over her was gone. “Well then, drink up.”
I held the bottle up to her in a salute, then started downing it. Yeah, a beer would solve everything. For now.
Chapter 5
Meet the Awesomes
They say that all good things come to those who wait. Well fuck whoever said that, because I had waited as patiently as a person could be expected to wait, and nothing fucking changed. The entire tour went by and all I heard was the same old line—Not tonight, maybe tomorrow. I heard it so often I was considering getting it tattooed on my forehead.
My mood was foul when I got back home to my same old boring-ass routine. Anna was a week or so from bursting, so she was in a foul mood too. Between the two of us, it had been bitch central at the house lately. It was an odd vibe for us, since we were usually so laid back. Or Anna was, at least. It took a lot to ruffle her.
“Not tonight, maybe tomorrow,” I said in a high-pitched, mocking voice. I was in our pool, floating in an inflatable chair, a beer in each cup holder and a third one in my hand. Smacking my fist against the water, I muttered, “They can kiss my ass tomorrow, is what they can do. All I’ve ever wanted, since this fucking band formed, was one tiny second in the spotlight, but none of those assholes will give me a chance. Fame whores.”