“Let her go, G.” Conner and Pippa appeared in the treeline. They’d doubled back on us from farther down the beach.
I glowered. “Leave it alone, Conner.”
“No. I was wrong when I said it’s none of our business. It is our business. So let her go.”
Estelle squirmed in my arms, forcing me to release her. I hurt so damn much that we were fighting because of the same thing.
Terror.
We loved each other, yet for weeks, we’d silently pushed each other away because of uncertainty and fear.
I felt the exact same way.
My fear killed me every hour of every single day.
I loved her, for Christ’s sake. I loved her too damn much, and I couldn’t survive if I lost her.
Pippa shot forward, her brother a step behind. “Stop fighting.”
“We’re not fighting,” Estelle said, brushing aside fallen tears. “Just a minor discussion.”
“Bullcrap.” Conner strode to Estelle. “You’re crying.”
“No, I’m not. Just hormones,” Estelle joked. “Honestly, we’re fine.”
For the first time in a while, I fully took stock of the fourteen-year-old. Coppery fuzz decorated his chin, his biceps had grown, and his voice had deepened from cute falsetto to masculine timbre.
Somehow, the kid had cracked whatever chrysalis he’d been hiding in and turned into a young man overnight.
Never taking his eyes off me, Conner hugged Estelle. Unlike when I’d embraced her, she willingly sank into his arms and kissed his cheek. “I’m okay, Co. Don’t worry.”
He was an inch taller than she was now and lanky muscles encapsulated her. His brown eyes filled with worry as he placed his hand on her belly. “The baby’s kicking you?”
Her lips quirked. “That’s what babies do. They stretch and move. It’s natural.”
“But does it hurt?” Pippa asked, her face full of wonder.
Estelle shook her head. “It’s strange, and sometimes, I feel bruised, but it’s not like an ‘ouch’ kind of pain.”
The trio turned to face me, united once again to tell me off and cut me out.
Perhaps, it would be best if I moved to the other side of the island for the time being. Give Estelle a break from me and my emotional insecurities. She already dealt with so much of her own. It wasn’t fair for her to comfort me when I hadn’t been comforting her.
I stiffened as Conner pointed between Estelle and me. “Pippa and I are going to mediate. What’s the problem?”
Estelle laughed softly. “That’s very sweet, but seriously, it’s over now.” Her eyes tightened in my direction. “Isn’t that right, G?”
No.
“Yes.” I nodded. “Perfect.”
“Whatever,” Conner snapped. “We knew when our parents fought and we knew when it got so bad they wanted a divorce. It sucked. And they didn’t let us help. They said we were too young to understand. But we weren’t. Were we, Pip?”
Pippa dropped her gaze, scooting closer to Conner. “No, we knew. We were old enough to know why they were fighting and what it would mean for us.”
Estelle sighed heavily. “Darlings, we’re not getting a divorce.”
“You can’t get a divorce.” Pippa looked solemn as if such a thing could never happen. That she wouldn’t let it happen. But then, she shocked all of us as she added, “You have to be married to be divorced.”
Married.
God, I’d give anything to marry Estelle. Even after I’d screwed up completely and made an issue out of nothing.
Estelle froze. “What did you say?”
“Married.” Conner scowled. “Wait...is that what this is about? You guys were talking about getting married?”
Estelle’s chest rose and fell, her black t-shirt straining against her fuller breasts. “No, that wasn’t—”
“What if I wanted to marry you?” I couldn’t look away from her. “What if I apologise for being an idiotic moron and get on my knee right now? Would you forgive me?”
She sucked in a breath. “What—what are you saying?”
Shakes stole my body.
Anxiety and shock and hope and disbelief.
What am I doing?
This could royally backfire.
But after finally understanding that Estelle wasn’t shutting me out but merely entering self-protective mode, I couldn’t have been more of an idiot. I’d picked a fight when there was nothing to fight about.
Taking her hand, I sucked a lungful of sweet island air.
And dropped to one knee.
Pippa gasped.
Conner jolted.
And Estelle moaned a little.
Staring up at her, I fell even more crazy in love with her. Her belly shadowed the sand and her skin glowed as if she’d harnessed the sun and it shone through her skin.
She was majestic.
She was terrified.
She was mine.
If she’ll still have me.
“Estelle Evermore.” I cleared my throat. “I’m so sorry. I’m a bastard for being so insecure and putting it on you. I shouldn’t have made this about me. This was never about me. I shouldn’t have sulked and worried that I’d done something wrong and smothered you with the need to keep you safe. I see now that I was suffocating you and I’m so bloody sorry.
“I’m sorry I needed more than you were able to give. I’m sorry that I haven’t been there for you as I should. But if there is any way you can forgive me, you’d make me the happiest man in the world if you said yes.