“Julian?” she whispered.
The air shimmered by the tub, so faintly she almost didn’t notice it, and then he was sitting on the edge once more. “Yes.”
She jerked back, knocking her shoulder against the tub. “Well, that…that comes in handy. Can all of you do that?”
“We can only go to a place we know. I can’t pop in just anywhere.”
She gaped. “How do you know where I live?”
That was a very good question, because she was always careful when she went to her apartment, taking different routes each time and glancing over her shoulder in paranoia. Then again, this morning she’d been too drained to pay attention. But she would’ve sensed a minion or a Fallen if one had been nearby.
“I’ve always known where you live.” He reached out, brushing a wet strand of hair off her shoulder.
She flinched. “Don’t.”
His eyes narrowed on hers.
“How many more know where I live?” Tears sprang to her eyes. If the Fallen knew where she was and could pop in anytime, she’d have to give up the only place that was truly hers.
The hard line of his jaw softened. “They don’t know about this place. You have nothing to fear.”
A little bit of relief coursed through her. She believed him. So far, as odd as it was, he hadn’t ever lied to her. But she was still naked, and Julian was staring at her hands so intently she wondered if he had X-ray vision. Her nipples hardened against her hands. She looked away.
Julian sighed. “I’ll wait for you to finish.”
And then he was gone…again. Lily slipped back under the water and squeezed her eyes shut, mind racing. What was he doing here? And how long had he been watching her? Instead of disgust, her body went in the opposite direction, getting warm at the idea.
She broke the surface. “Crap.”
This wasn’t good.
Climbing out of the tub, she quickly dried off and grabbed the silk robe hanging on the back of the door. She could still sense that he was here. She snatched the bracelets off the vanity and slapped them on before she opened the door. Her gaze went to the bed, and she breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wasn’t there.
Julian stood in front of the reinforced glass doors that led out to the balcony, his back to her. He wore a plain white T-shirt stretched over broad shoulders and a pair of dark slacks that hung low on his narrow hips.
He turned, his intense eyes drifting from her face to the tips of her toes. “That was quick.”
“You kind of killed the idea of relaxing.”
“I’m sorry.”
She knew she needed to tell him to leave, then go crawl into her bed and pretend he’d never popped into her bathroom and gotten a look at her goods. But that was what she should do, not what she wanted. Curiosity was getting the best of her, which was dangerous and stupid. “What are you doing here, Julian?”
He stared at her as if she should know. Well, she didn’t, and so she waited for his explanation. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
That wasn’t the response she expected. She stepped back, her fingers tightening around her robe until her knuckles turned white. “Of course I’m okay.”
“Baal hurt you again,” he stated, his voice hard.
She pulled her eyes from him, staring over his shoulder. The scuff mark left behind from her earlier temper tantrum became a sole point of interest to her. “Thank you…for coming when you did.”
He was silent for a moment. “I remember the first time you thanked me. It had been months later. You waited for me, didn’t you? You knew I’d come.”
She lowered her gaze to her carpet. She had waited for him on the damn clock building after Baal’s attack.
“You thanked me and then ran off as if the very devil was on your heels.”
“You saved my life.” She lifted her eyes, meeting his. “I had to thank you. But it wasn’t like I could hang around. Everyone was keeping an eye on me after…what happened.” And they would probably do the same now. Great.
“I know,” he said. “But I didn’t come here for you to thank me.”
Biting her lower lip, she decided she wasn’t going to touch that statement with a ten-foot pole.
Julian tipped his head to the side, inhaling deeply. “You’re wondering why I saved you.” The way his eyes drifted shut and his lips curved into a small smile made her quiver in all the wrong—right—places. “If anyone is to kill you, it will be me.”
She arched a brow. That wasn’t the first time he’d said that. “That makes no sense. You’ve had plenty of opportunities to kill me. Why haven’t you?”
He shrugged his broad shoulders. The small smile played across his face until two deep dimples appeared. “Do you want me to?”
That didn’t deserve a response. Instead her eyes dropped to his lips, and she flushed. She remembered picturing Julian when she’d been with Gabe. This was getting outright stupid.
“How is your arm?”
She blinked. “Um, it will be okay, and it doesn’t even hurt now.” That was a lie, but he didn’t need to know that.
Silence stretched between them, and she couldn’t help but notice how he seemed to take up all the oxygen in the room.
“Why do you do this?” he asked finally.
She frowned as he jumped topics. “Do what?”
“This life?” he clarified. “Doesn’t it grow tiresome? Always hunting with no real end in sight? Knowing the Fallen will always be one step ahead simply because they outnumber the Nephilim?”
“Well, when you put it that way,” she drawled slowly. “I don’t really have a choice. I was born to this.”
He stared at her curiously. “You always have a choice.”
Strange, but Michael had said the same thing. “I may have had a choice, but I don’t any longer. I signed the Contract. Can’t get out of it now.”
Turning serious, he nodded. “Now you have forever, and it’s just you and your duty.”
“Oh the joy.” She stepped around him, checking the locks on the door. They were thrown. Wow! He seriously did just blink into her apartment. When she turned around, the air hitched in her throat. The level of intensity in which he observed her made her nervous, really nervous—and hot. “You should leave.”
“It must be a lonely existence for you,” he said as if he hadn’t heard.
Her fingers curled around the edge of her robe. Of course her life was freaking lonely. The closest intimate contact she had recently took place in a bar’s laundry room. And she wouldn’t be surprised if Julian knew that.
“What about you?” she threw the question back at him as she walked toward the kitchen. “I’m sure you have lots of people to occupy your time.”
“Not anymore,” he whispered.
She stiffened. She felt him behind her and, immediately, her body came alive. Answering some sort of call she didn’t understand, her nipples tightened against the smooth silk and heat pooled between her legs. “Why is that?” she whispered.
Julian gently brushed the mass of wet hair over her shoulder as he leaned forward. His breath stirred the small hairs at the nape of her neck, sending fine shivers through her. “Things changed for me.”
She darted away from the door, putting some space between them. But that space lasted a second, because when she blinked, he was behind her again. Every cell in her body warred. Fight him, stand still. Tell him to leave, or not say anything at all.
He lowered his head so that his lips brushed the exposed skin of her neck. “It was never a why, you know. More like a when…”
“Oh.” It wasn’t one of the most intelligent responses, but it was the best she had at the moment.
Julian trailed his lips over her skin lightly. “Eight years ago to be exact.”
The significance of the date did not pass Lily. Some inane part of her wanted to hear him say it. “What happened eight years ago?”
He chuckled as his hands settled on her shoulders. “You,” he said as he brought his hands down to her elbows in one smooth caress. “You happened.”
“I didn’t do anything.” Ah, this is dangerous and stupid. But she couldn’t seem to stop herself. She tipped her head back against his hard chest. Just a little longer, and then she’d kick him out. Just a few more minutes with this magnificent thing behind her, and the glorious heat he created in her. Then she would let it go. She had to, because this was idiotic. Because this was how it all started with Anna.
“You didn’t?” His hands followed the curve of her arms, resting where she tightly held the edges of her robe.
“Other than stabbing you?” She started to pull away, but he held her in place. “No.”
The deep rumble of Julian’s laugh vibrated down the length of her, and a small sigh escaped her lips. “That wasn’t what I had in mind.” His fingers closed over hers. “Ah, Lily, you drive me to do insane things.”
She drove him to do insane things? What was she doing? Allowing him to be this close and to forget all the ways this could go bad. Like everything had gone bad for Anna. Ice drenched her veins, and she tensed. This was wrong.
Julian squeezed her hands gently. “It’s okay,” he whispered just below her ear. “I’m not going to hurt you. If you tell me to stop, I will.”
Her mouth opened to tell him to stop, but his thumbs brushed against the swell of her breasts and the words left her. Heat pulsed through her body, melting the ice.
“I will stop, Lily. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do,” he continued, pressing his lips against her pulse. “Just don’t shut me out in fear. Don’t let fear control you. That’s all I’ll ask from you today.”
Her heart tripled its beat, and her fingers loosened their hold on the soft material. “I can’t do this.”
“How do you know?” He gently pulled her hands away from the material, bringing them to her sides. The loose robe immediately gaped.
Air hitched in her throat. Every cell in her body waited as he brought his hands back to her shoulders. She needed to pull away, but she remained there, filled with a wanton curiosity that excited her in a way she’d never been before.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.
The words formed on her lips, but they went no further. Her body and mind were fighting. Hormones were definitely winning at this point.
Julian brushed the silk over her slight shoulders and down her arms. The cool air whispered against her bare skin, and when she should’ve been fighting him, she was instead thrilled. He ran a finger over the outline of her tattoo. “I knew you would be beautiful with wings.”
The same could be said about him if he still had his. Then the thought flew out of her mind when she felt his tongue tracing the same line his finger had. Sweet Jesus, every muscle in her body locked up. “Julian, I…this…”
“Do you want me to stop?” When she didn’t answer, he hauled her back so that she was flush with him. “You and I share this ache. Fight it all you want, but it is the truth.”
