As the small jet cleared the Santa Cruz Mountains, twilight descended upon Silicon Valley. The lights of Palo Alto greeted her, and the airport bustled with commuter planes. It was one of the busiest private airports in the country.
Wishing for invisibility from her ex-husband, Claire prayed one woman on one jet would go completely unnoticed.
As the door opened and the tepid air filled the cabin Claire allowed herself to experience the relief associated with freedom. The change of scenery helped facilitate her emotional shift. Placing one foot in front of the other she disembarked the plane. After three years of constant surveillance, the uncertainty of California’s possibilities thrilled and terrified her.
Her future was in her hands --such a simple statement of independence. Nonetheless, it could not have been made twenty-four hours earlier. Claire thought about that; it could not have been made thirty-six months ago. Straightening her shoulders and lifting her head high, Claire scanned the concourse.
As if knowing Claire’s need for immediate confirmation and reaffirmation, Amber walked silently from an unmarked hanger. She looked much different than she did eighteen months ago at Simon’s funeral. Not physically, as Claire recognized the slender brunette instantly. The difference was her presence, no longer grief stricken; Amber radiated a casual confidence and a self-assured aura. Their eyes met and Amber moved toward her.
On the concrete concourse the two friends and strangers, embraced. The day had already been extremely long. Emotionally overloaded, Claire was thankful for her new friend and ready for quiet time. Amber understood and drove them to her condo, with minimal stops on the way for essentials.
Nestled near downtown Palo Alto, Amber’s condominium blended perfectly into its surroundings with its stucco walls and orange tiled roof. They parked in an underground garage after waving to the security officer guarding the entrance. When the elevator opened to the fourth floor, Claire recognized the true grandeur of the building, with wide hallways giving access to multiple dwellings. Amber explained, she’d lived there for years, loved the neighborhood, people, and city. As a bonus, SiJo Gaming was near. She didn’t need to fight the daily San Francisco traffic.
Hardwood floors, taupe walls, and recessed lighting combined to make her condo warm and inviting. The two ladies settled onto comfortable stools at Amber’s high kitchen table and became better acquainted. Claire gazed around the room and took in the simplistic chic style. The understated panache and flair appealed to Claire. It wasn’t the grandeur of the mansion she shared with her ex-husband, yet nonetheless, lavish and elegant. The granite counters and table top felt cool and smooth. The high stools in which they sat allowed her feet to pivot upon the cast iron bar.
Their conversation proceeded benignly. Perhaps Amber could sense Claire’s dazed realization; during the hours that followed, the two women connected. They shared sushi, wine, and discussed their common bond. As the hours slipped away and the outside darkness intensified, their interaction within became increasingly real.
Nineteen hours earlier, Claire woke in a prison cell. It was the day that wouldn’t end. She was physically and emotionally spent. However, Amber must have realized there was a conversation they needed to undergo. Claire wasn’t ready for Amber’s question, “Did you love Simon?”
Recently conversation hadn’t been Claire’s norm. So sitting with Amber and being asked something so personal, something that could impact their relationship, frightened her. Claire believed her answer could cost her the one person willing to help her plight. She hesitated, “I hadn’t seen Simon since our freshman year of college, until he came to see me in Chicago.”
“I know that. But, what I want to know is if you loved him.”
Claire bowed her head. The day was too much -- too many changes. She couldn’t summon a mask to disguise her true emotions. Her shoulders slumped. Her eyes saddened, though too tired for tears. “I thought I did. When we were at Valparaiso, I believed in fairy tales. I believed in forever. When he left for his internship, I expected him to return. When he didn’t, I expected an invitation to join him. It broke my heart I never got one.” Claire began to stand, believing Amber would no longer want her to stay. “When I saw him in Chicago, I remembered those feelings. Simon’s love was unconditional. You don’t know what I went through with Tony, but unconditional is not a word I’d use to describe it.” Claire hesitated, looked out the large window and saw the quiet tree lined street, four stories below, illuminated by old fashioned light poles. Although Amber remained silent, Claire no longer held eye contact, “Seeing him that day made me sad. I didn’t know about you. Honestly, I didn’t ask if he were married or engaged. I just knew the love of someone like Simon was something I’d never experience again. I knew I’d missed out on something real, and I’d never know it.” Claire pushed the stool under the counter. “Thank you for getting me out of Iowa. Once I cash the check, I’ll reimburse you. I’ll try to find somewhere to stay tonight.”
“Why are you leaving?” Amber’s surprised expression echoed her words.
“After what I just said, don’t you want me to go?”
Amber walked around the table and faced Claire. The two women were so different and yet so alike: both brunettes, Amber a little taller with brown eyes and Claire more petite with green eyes. Although both were under thirty, life had dealt them more sadness than they deserved. “No, I don’t.” Claire staggered backwards in surprise. She couldn’t take more emotion in one day. “Simon loved you. If his love was unrequited I could easily hate you. But, if his love was reciprocated, if you truly loved him in return, even ten years ago, then all I can do is all I can do.”