Chapter 697: Misfortune Caused by the Cheap Deal
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
When Hans earned the cost of the meal, he converted it into US dollars and realized that it was only slightly more than 500 dollars. He then repeatedly praised China for its good control of pricing as well as for offering high quality at low prices.
Li Du felt that this guy was just reacting to novelty. If an American earned US dollars in the United States and then calculated his consumption in China in terms of US dollars, wouldn't he still think that everything was cheap?
After lunch, they drove to the Normal University's campus.
Hans's pretty teacher had replied to his message earlier. Just as he'd guessed, she'd been in class and had left her mobile phone behind in her bedroom.
She had no classes in the afternoon, and so she asked him to meet her at the coffeehouse next to the school at two o'clock.
Li Du took a look at Hans's chat history with her. She seemed nice and pretty decent. She'd said she wanted to buy Hans a drink, and informed him in advance that she still had class to attend in the evening. This was why they could only meet in the afternoon.
They arrived at the coffeehouse ahead of time and stopped the car outside for a chat.
Li Du asked, "What's the girl's name? Rachel? What is her Chinese name?"
"I don't know," Hans said. "I address her by her English name while she addresses me by my Chinese name."
Li Du's inquisitiveness was all fired up, so he asked, "What's your Chinese name, then?"
Hans refused to say, maintaining that it was private.
Li Du was so pissed off he wanted to punch him. What's so private about a name?
Seeing that Hans was looking uncomfortable, Li Du thought he was displeased about his asking too much, and so he apologized. "I'm sorry, Big Fox. I was just curious."
Hans was puzzled and asked, "What? Why are you suddenly apologizing?"
"I thought you looked upset."
Hans frowned and shook his head. "No, I'm not upset. I'm having some discomfort in my stomach."
Concerned, Li Du asked, "What's the matter? Is it because you are not used to the food here?"
After arriving in Li Du's home town, everything had been fine for Godzilla and Big Quinn. Hans, however, had encountered a few episodes of stomach upsets. They had gone to the county hospital to get it checked, and the doctor said he was not accustomed to the food in China.
"Unlikely," Hans answered. "My stomach is not hurting, just bloated."
As he spoke, rumbling sounds from his stomach were heard. It appeared that he was going to have an upset stomach.
Li Du gave him two packets of paper and got him to go to the coffeehouse first to clear his bowels, so as not to embarrass himself in front of his pretty teacher.
After Hans left, Big Quinn asked, "Boss, do we wait in the car?"
Li Du said, "No, I'll take you to a scenic spot for a tour later. We'll have a look at that girl first, and make sure they're alright."
Hearing this, Big Quinn pushed the door open. "Then I'll go to the bathroom first, too. D*mn, my stomach's not feeling too good."
Both Hans and Big Quinn's stomachs had issues at the same time. Li Du's suspicions grew. Were there any problems with their lunch?
However, they had eaten less than an hour ago, so it was be reasonable to assume that they wouldn't have any reactions that soon.
Big Quinn had barely left when Godzilla's stomach also started to rumble. He held onto his stomach. "F*ck!"
Li Du couldn't help it and also cursed out loud. "F*ck! Something's wrong with that lunch!"
Godzilla had a stomach made of steel. Given his appetite, his digestive ability was obviously very good. But now, if even his stomach wasn't well, then it must have been due to that seafood.
He brought Godzilla into the coffeehouse and saw Hans and a pony-tailed girl having coffee while sitting on bar stools.
Seeing that he'd come in, Hans showed his displeasure. He called him on the phone and asked, "Li, why are you in here? D*mn it, can't you just give me some privacy?"
"Godzilla's stomach is hurting," Li Du said impatiently. "I brought him in to use the bathroom."
Hans was no longer annoyed. "Ha—he's suffering too? Well, okay."
Godzilla attracted a lot of attention when he'd entered. After inquiring about the bathroom, Li Du brought Godzilla there.
Li Du was not having any problems with his stomach and felt a little smug. The little bug had improved the condition of his body greatly, and what his stomach could withstand was obviously much stronger than others.
As the saying goes, "Extreme joy begets sorrow." His happiness didn't last long. He could feel that his intestines were contracting more quickly, and there was some gas he needed to expel.
Farting was a very normal bodily process. There was a saying in Li Du's hometown, "A fart is the air of life. How can one not release it?"
Of course, this was a coffeehouse and a public place. It would not be right for him to fart just anywhere. And so, Mr. Li, with his many years of accumulated experience, did what he had always done, which was to lift up half of his buttock, control his rectal muscles, and squeeze the gas out gradually bit by bit.
Afterward, he felt something was not right. Why did his rectum feel clammy? And why did his pants feel a little sticky? Also, why was there a stinging sensation around his rectum?
He suddenly froze, and his face turned red. F*ck, had he sh*t in his pants?
This put him in panic mode. He hadn't soiled his pants since he was in kindergarten. How could this be happening now?
He looked around nervously, afraid that someone would find out about this embarrassing incident. As a result, he noticed that Hans, who was diagonally opposite, was also looking around anxiously.
The two pairs of eyes met and realized that the other person could have also suffered the same mortifying episode as themselves...
Li Du got up and wanted to go to the bathroom. At this time, he felt the same farting sensation come over him once again.
One could try to control the urge to urinate or defecate, but not when it came to farting.
This was gas, and its force was way too strong. Even clamping the rectal muscles could not stop it!
In a split second, he could feel the area around his rectum get even clammier.
The most tragic thing was, he was unable to walk fast. He had to walk slowly, or he might not be able to clamp in what was about to spurt out.
Hans could not act gentlemanly and apologize to the girl first. He had to walk quickly to the bathroom.
The girl turned her head, and Li Du saw a delicate and pretty face wearing a startled expression.
"D*mn, there's something wrong with the seafood from this son of a b*tch!" Hans said with a twisted expression as he passed Li Du.
Mr. Li was not in the mood to answer him, as he was intent on reaching the bathroom. Twenty feet more, 15 feet more, ten feet more, almost there...
There were only five stalls in the coffeehouse's bathroom, and all of them were occupied. Li Du had no choice but to knock on the door of the stall that Godzilla was in and whisper, "Godzilla, come out. I can't stand it anymore."
The sound of flushing in the stall could be heard. It was a very tempting sound. It tempted Li Du's intestines to contract once again.
Godzilla pushed the door open, and Li Du was about to go in when a young man came in from the back and brazenly wiggled his way into the stall instead. He flippantly said, "Sorry buddy, stomach ache—oh, f*ck!"
He stepped into the stall too quickly, and as his footing was not firm, he slipped and hit his head on the toilet.
When he got up, he looked down in anger and shouted, "F*ck, who's so ill-mannered? How can they pour oil onto the ground? What the f*ck is the meaning of this?"
Li Du looked at Godzilla—the always-silent, expressionless, beefy Mexican.