His smile was wry. ‘I called in a favour or two. But I think, once they attended you, there was more to it. An obligation, perhaps. You are, after all, a sister priestess-oh, betrothed to a different ascendant, true enough, but that did not matter. Or,’ and he smiled again, ‘so it turned out.’
Yes, but why? Why did you bring me back? I don’t want-oh, she could not complete that thought. Understanding now, at last; how vast the sin of suicide-of course, it would not have been that, would it? To have simply slipped away, taken by whatever sickness afflicted her. Was it not a kind of wisdom to surrender?
‘No,’ she mumbled, ’it isn’t.’
‘Salind?’
‘To bless,’ she said, ’is to confer a hope. Is that enough? To make sacred the wish for good fortune, a fulfilled life? What can it achieve?’
He was studying her face. ‘High Priestess,’ he now said, haltingly, as if truly attempting an answer, ‘in blessing, you purchase a moment of peace, in the one being blessed, in the one for whom blessing is asked. Perhaps it does not last, but the gift you provide, well, its value never fades.’
She turned her head, looked away. Beyond the candles, she saw a wall crowded with Andiian hieroglyphs and a procession of painted figures, all facing one way, to where stood the image of a woman whose back was turned, denying all those beseeching her. A mother rejecting her children-she could see how the artist had struggled with all those upturned faces, the despair and anguish twisting them-painted in tears, yes.
‘I must go back,’ she said.
‘Back? Where?’
‘The camp, the place of the pilgrims.’
‘You are not yet strong enough, High Priestess.’
Her words to him had stripped away his using her chosen name. He was seeing her now as a High Priestess. She felt a twinge of loss at that. But now was not the time to contemplate the significance of such things. Spinnock Durav was right-she was too weak. Even these thoughts exhausted her. ‘As soon as I can,’ she said.
‘Of course.’
‘They are in danger.’
‘What would you have me do?’
She finally looked back at him. ‘Nothing. This belongs to me. And Seerdomin.’ At the mention of that name the Tiste Andii winced. ‘High Priestess-’
‘He will not reject me again.’
‘He is missing.’
‘What?’
‘I cannot find him. I am sorry, but I am fairly certain he is no longer in Black Coral.’
‘No matter,’ she said, struggling to believe her own words. ‘No matter. He will come when he is needed.’ She could see that Spinnock Durav was sceptical, but she would not berate him for that. ‘The Redeemer brought me to the edge ofdeath,’ she said, ‘to show me what was needed. To show me why I was needed.’
She paused. ‘Does that sound arrogant? It does, doesn’t it?’
His sigh was ragged. He stood. ‘I will return to check on you, High Priestess,
For now, sleep.’
Oh, she had offended him, but how? ‘Wait, Spinnock Durav-’
‘It is all right,’ he said. ‘You have misread me. Well, perhaps not entirely. You spoke of your god showing you what was needed-something we Tiste Andii ever yearn for but will not ever achieve. Then you doubt yourself. Arrogance?
Abyss below, High Priestess. Is this how you feel when the Redeemer blesses you?’
Then she was alone in the chamber. Candle flames wavering in the wake of Spinnock Durav’s departure, the agitated light making the figures writhe on the walls.
Still the mother stood, turned away.
Salind felt a twist of anger. Bless your children, Mother Dark. They have suffered long enough. I say this in gratitude to your own priestesses, who have given me back my life. I say it in the name of redemption. Bless your children, woman.
The candles settled once more, flames standing tall, immune to Salind’s meek agitations. Nowhere in this room was there darkness and that, she realized, was answer enough.
The old blood splashed on the walls was black, eager to swallow the lantern’s light. Dust still trickled down from stress fractures in the canted ceiling, reminding Seerdomin that half a mountain stood above him. The keep’s upper levels were crushed, collapsed, yet still settling even after all this time. Perhaps, some time soon, these lower tunnels would give away, and the massive ruin atop the hollowed-out cliff would simply tilt and slide into the sea.
In the meantime, there were these unlit, wending/buckled corridors, a chaotic maze where no one belonged, and yet boot prints tracked the thick, gritty dust. Looters? Perhaps, although Seerdomin well knew there was little to be found in these lower levels. He had walked these routes many times, doing what he could for the various prisoners of the Pannion Seer, though it was never enough-no, never enough.