Ren cursed under his breath. Never in his life had he felt more worthless-which basically said it all about their situation and his inability to get them out of this realm. "I'm sorry, Kateri."
"Hey..." She pulled him to a stop as they walked through an endless forest. "You don't need to keep apologizing for something you can't help. We'll make it out. We will."
"How can you have such faith?"
"Oh c'mon, you defeated death and came back to life. You have to have faith, too. I know you do."
The edges of his lips twitched at her words. Amazed by her ability to find amusement and to make light of an extremely bad situation, he stared into beautiful eyes that seared him.
Step away from her. Now!
For once, he didn't listen. Before he could stop himself, he kissed her. The scent of her skin and the taste of her mouth sent his body into overdrive. Everything around them was going wrong. Everything. His primary powers weren't working. They had demons after them. The First Guardian was missing. Choo was captured....
And she felt like heaven in the midst of hell. It didn't make sense. He should be hating himself for his incompetence, but when he looked at her, he didn't see disdain or contempt. He saw friendship. Kindness. Encouragement.
Worst of all, the same desire he had for her.
Instead of making him feel like he was lacking for getting them into this, she smiled and retorted with jokes that lightened his spirit. She didn't call him stupid or worthless. Or accuse him of condemning her to this.
She made him feel like the man he'd always wanted to be. Like maybe, just maybe, he had some degree of value and sense. That he was worth being lost with.
Pulling back, he buried his face in the crook of her neck so that he could smell the faint remnants of her perfume. Valerian had always been one of his favorite scents, and on her ...
His mouth watered.
Kateri held Ren close as she felt his heart pounding against her breasts. It'd been so long since she was close to a man. Not eleven thousand years by any means, but quite a few months. The one thing she and Fernando had shared was their philosophy that work came first, no matter what. That there were many discoveries yet to be made and papers to be written. Lectures to be given and kids to be encouraged. She'd never found a man who could respect that. One who would share her with her work schedule.
You're a geologist. What the hell do you have to work on at night and on weekends?
Research papers and class prep waited for no one, and writing took up a great deal of her time. For reasons she didn't understand, she seemed to get caught in strange time warps. She'd sit down and start working on a paper, then the next thing she knew, it would be five hours later and her phone would be buzzing or ringing with either a text or call about why she wasn't at home or wherever it was she was supposed to be. It was like the world stopped moving whenever she worked, and she would sit still for hours on end without getting up or sometimes even blinking.
But the simplest truth was that none of the men she'd dated had been worth her keeping up with the time to make sure she wasn't late meeting them. While they'd been fun to hang out with for a little while, they invariably started bitching about her schedule and weird beliefs and habits to the point she hit the door running to escape them. They were never her priority.
Ren was different.
His beliefs made hers seem normal. If she were to talk about raven mockers, instead of laughing or rolling his eyes, he most likely would be on a first-name basis with a few of them. And the moonstone he'd given her said that he understood her fascination with rocks and minerals. That he felt the power they held and knew what it meant to reach for one in the middle of a crisis. He got it.
Most of all, she found him fascinating. The things he knew ... the things he could do. She hadn't thought about work once while they'd been together.
Well, okay, granted they were running for their lives, but still ...
He held her attention completely. For him, she would gladly put her research aside. To make him smile a real smile, she would be late to class. How sick was that?
She barely knew him and yet ... she'd been with him for years. "Did you ever see visions of me?"
He pulled back to stare down at her. Cupping her jaw in his large hand, he teased her chin with his thumb. At first, she didn't think he'd answer. But after a brief pause, he gave a subtle nod.
"What did you see?"
Ren's first thought went to the images of her killing him. Now at least he understood why he never fought her for his life. But those weren't the only dreams of her he'd had. "I've seen you in a yellow dress with hummingbirds on it and a matching yellow sweater. You were a young teenager and had yellow ribbons in your hair. You were happy about something and you threw your arms around an older man."
A winsome smile curled her lips, reminding him of how she'd looked in his mind. "My sixteenth birthday. My grandmother made that dress for me. I hated it, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I wore it."
"And the man?"
"My stepfather. He adopted me right before my mother died. It's why my last name is Avani. He was from New Delhi and used to joke all the time about which of us was more Indian."
"What happened to him?"
"He died of cancer while I was in college."
"I'm so sorry."
She swallowed against the grief that choked her. She'd loved him so ... Every day, she missed him terribly. "Thank you. He was a good man. He married my mom when I was four and you'd have never known he wasn't my biological father."
"You were at a dance with him when you were older. You wore a short blue skirt and white blouse."
She nodded. "It was a father-daughter charity dance that was sponsored by his office."
He frowned at her. "Why did you burst out crying during one of the dances? Did he hurt your feelings?"
"Oh God no. He'd just been diagnosed with cancer and they started playing the Bob Carlisle song, 'Butterfly Kisses.'"
"I don't know it."
"It's a song about a woman and her father and-" She broke off into a sob.
"Sh," he said, pulling her back into his arms. "I'm so sorry, Kateri. I didn't mean to make you cry."
"No, it's okay." She sniffed back her tears. "I wish you'd known a father like him, Ren. He was so good to me. There's not a day that goes by that I don't feel his loss as much as I do my mother's and my grandmother's. I was so lucky to have him. And he loved my mother more than you can imagine. To the day he died, he had their wedding photo on his desk, and his one request for his funeral was that I place a photo of her on his heart and lay his hands over it. I remember asking him once, years after her death, why he never dated anyone. He told me that he'd found his one perfect soul mate and that there was no reason in trying to find another. No woman would ever mean as much to him as my mother had and that he didn't have room in his heart or life for anyone else. Keeping up with me was a full-time job and it was the only job he really wanted."
Ren had no way of relating to the love she described. But it sounded incredible. "I'm glad he was good to you."
Kateri burst into deep, wrenching sobs.
What did I do? Ren pulled back and cupped her face in both of his hands. Never had he felt so lost. He hadn't meant to hurt her with his comment. Stupidly, he'd thought to make her feel better. He'd spent so little time around women that he had no idea how to help her. Did all women do this?
Was it normal? Or had he broken her with his ignorance?
And still she sobbed as if something inside her had snapped. What could he say? After what just happened, he was terrified to even try.
"Don't look at me," she wailed.
He released her and started to turn away.
She grabbed him and threw herself into his arms. He stood there, stunned. Okay. She wanted him to hold her, yet not look at her. Weird, but okay.
Dammit, Sundown, where are you when I need advice? Surely, his married friend would have a clue.
Maybe ...
Ren searched his mind for something he could do to soothe her. The only thing he could remember was seeing mothers with crying children. They would hold and rock them.
Scooping her up in his arms, he carried her to a small clearing and sat down to hold her in his lap. He brushed the hair back from her face while she sobbed against his chest and clung to him. Wow, all this over what he thought was an innocuous comment meant to cheer her up. You will never understand people.
That was definitely true. They'd never made sense to him in any way.
So he held her against him and rocked her gently, hoping they didn't get attacked until she had time to finish.
Kateri hated that she'd fallen apart like this. It was what she hated most about grieving. Most days, she was fine. But every now and again, a sight or smell would ambush her, or she'd hear a song, see something that evoked a buried memory, and it would hit her all over again just how much she missed them. How much she wanted them back and how much she hated that she'd never see them again. It wasn't fair. Other people got to keep their parents most of their lives. But not her. Until last night, she'd never even met her biological father.
And as bad as that was, she couldn't imagine the pain of not having them at all. It made her wonder what was worse. Not knowing what you were missing or knowing exactly how it felt to be loved and cared for and then having it ripped brutally away from you.
She covered her eyes with her hand and groaned at what a basket case she must look like to poor Ren. "I am so sorry, sweetie. It's just been a horrendous last few days. I'm tired. I'm scared, and I lost a really good friend right before all of this happened."
Ren didn't respond. He just kept rocking her.
Frowning, she wiped at her eyes and looked up at him. "Are you all right?"
He nodded, then brushed away more of her tears.
"Then why aren't you speaking to me?"
Panic flashed across his features. He glanced away as if trying to think of a response.
"Ren? Talk to me."
His lips twitched before he finally spoke in a low tone. "I don't want to say the wrong thing again and make you cry more."
The pure innocent sweetness of that wrenched another sob from her.
"Ah, see now what I did. I'm sorry, Kateri. I won't say anything else. I promise."
She laid her head down on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck. "It's so not you, baby. You did nothing, absolutely nothing wrong." She squeezed him tight, wishing she could make him understand. "All you've been is wonderful...."
Ren knew she was speaking, but he couldn't make out the words. Not after she'd called him baby and sweetie. No one had ever used an endearment for him before. Until now, the closest anyone had come was to call him friend or brother.
But baby ...
He'd never been anyone's baby.
"Are you listening to me?"
You should probably say yes. That would be the smartest thing to do. But for some stupid reason the truth came out before he could stop it. "Um ... no."
"Why are you tuning me out?" she snapped as fury lit up her eyes.
Ren moved his jaw, trying to explain, but no words would leave his lips as he stammered over the word I. Why do I always do this shit when I least want to look like an idiot?
He expected her to be angry. Instead, she kissed him senseless. Every part of him went into overdrive as his cock hardened.
She pulled back. "What were you trying to say?"
Heat scalded his face. "I didn't hear anything after you called me baby."
Kateri laid her hand over his cheek at the anguish she saw on his face. Her heart lurched. Given what she'd seen of his life, she was willing to bet it was the first time anyone had ever used an endearment for him. While most people grew up being called "sugar" and "darling" by others, he never had, and he'd secluded himself to the point that he most likely hadn't even been called that by a waitress, let alone someone who actually cared about him.
"I know that place deep down inside where it feels like no one cares. No one sees you. No one knows you. But I see you, Ren, and I do care. I know exactly how it feels to be alone in this world." She laughed bitterly as she remembered something Fernando had said to her about one of the most influential innovators in the field of archaeology and anthropology. "Margaret Mead once said that one of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder when you are coming home at night."
She smiled at him. "There's nothing lonelier than an empty house when you're going to bed. I've lost everyone I've ever loved and I'm scared as hell at the thought of letting you or anyone else into my heart to hurt me like that again. Because every time I lose one of them, a part of me goes to the grave with them and I'm not sure how much of me is left anymore. But I'm willing to take that leap again ... for you."
Ren swallowed as he understood what had motivated her to burst into tears. No one had ever said anything kinder to him. Her words touched a place inside him he hadn't known existed. A part of him that had never been touched before.
"I could never hurt you, sweetie," she breathed.
In that single moment, he was completely lost to her. I'm such an effing idiot. He hadn't even gotten laid first, this time, and he had no business letting her get close to him, yet somehow she was already there. He had no idea how it'd happened, but he'd basically been a goner the first moment she smiled at him.
"Are you going to say anything?"
Ren didn't trust his voice. So instead, he kissed her slowly and tenderly, savoring every stroke of her tongue against his. Breathless, he laid her back against the ground and covered her with his body. Stars blinded him as an unbelievable pleasure tore through him.
Kateri smiled as Ren left her lips to trail hot kisses down her neck. Had she not understood why he didn't speak, she'd be offended. But that wasn't his way. He was a man of very few words. He spoke through his actions, not with his voice. In a way, she preferred it. There was no way to misinterpret his tenderness.
He slowly unbuttoned her shirt, then ran his hand over her breasts. Arching her back, she moaned at how good he felt. The hunger in his eyes was searing as he struggled with her bra.
She smiled at his confusion. "It snaps in the front."
He still had no clue.
"I guess they didn't have these back in the day, eh?"
"No. It's like a puzzle box."
Laughing, she took his hands and showed him how to undo it.
Ren sucked his breath in sharply at the sight of her bare breasts. He'd assumed some of their size was from padding, but that was definitely not true, and while he didn't have a lot of experience in this department, he knew she was well endowed. "You're so beautiful."
She took his hand into hers and led it to her mouth so that she could kiss, then nip his knuckle. A shiver went over him. She returned his hand to her breast before pulling his head down to hers to nibble his lips. If he could, he'd die right now in this perfect moment of sensory overload.
Kateri felt the muscles in his jaw tighten as he clenched his teeth. Damn, he was the sexiest man she'd ever been near. The raw strength and power. The adorable vulnerable innocence that shouldn't exist inside someone like him. It combined into the most irresistible package imaginable.
Wanting to please him, she pulled his shirt off, over his head, then rolled him onto his back. She paused as she saw the scars and injuries that riddled his body. But the scar that wrung her heart was in the center of his chest. Jagged and raw, it was bigger than her fist.
Her hand shaking, she placed it over his heart to finger that scar. The moment she did, a brutal vision came to her with a clarity so clear, it stunned her.... Ren and Coyote were in a grand dining hall where they were fighting over the corpse of a man who'd been beaten so badly that she couldn't tell who it was.
His entire body coated in blood, Coyote sneered at Ren, who gaped in horror at what his brother had done. "This is all your fault," Coyote sneered. "You and your petty jealousy. Why couldn't you have been happy for me? Just once in your miserable life. Why? Had you left us alone, none of this would have happened. There would have been no Grizzly Spirit. No need for Guardians and he"-Coyote gestured to the floor with a knife-"would never have come here to claim her."
Ren didn't respond. His gaze was fastened to the red on Coyote's hands. It went from there to the floor where ...
Buffalo lay dead in a pool of blood. She only knew the man's identity because Ren knew.
He winced as unmitigated grief tore through him. "How could you do this? He was a Guardian." And my best friend in the world. The one and only person who'd stood by him without question.
Even when evil had claimed possession of his body and he'd served it willingly, Buffalo had stayed with him. Protecting him.
Now he lay slain by Ren's own brother.
My cruelty drove him mad....
His brother had been pure and decent until Ren had tortured him. It's all my fault. All of it.
Coyote spit on Buffalo's body. "He was a bastard and he stole her heart from me."
Ren shook his head slowly as guilt and sorrow ripped him apart. "Hearts can never be stolen. They can only be given."
Coyote sneered at him. "You're wrong! That's your jealousy speaking."
But it wasn't. Ren had learned to banish that. He no longer felt anything except guilt and remorse.
Now it was too late. He'd destroyed everything that was good in his life.
Everything.
Sick to his stomach, he went to Buffalo and knelt beside him to whisper a small prayer over his body.
A shrill scream echoed through the room.
Looking up, Ren saw Butterfly as she ran to her Buffalo. She sobbed hysterically, throwing herself down on top of him. She paid no attention whatsoever as his blood soaked into her clothes and left her covered in it.
Her features twisted by rage and accusatory grief, she glared at Coyote. "Why? Why? Why would you hurt me so?"
Coyote curled his lip. "You tore my heart out."
"And you killed mine." She laid herself over Buffalo and wept with shrill screams that raised the hair on Kateri's arms.
Ren stood up and left her there to grieve while he confronted his brother.
That was his mistake. He didn't think about what would happen if Butterfly was allowed to cry her misery out to the gods and spirits. To wail and shriek for her lost Buffalo.
But it was too late now. The doors of the room blew open. A howling wind came screaming through, dancing around their white-buckskin-covered bodies. Those winds joined together to form two trumpeters who blew their horns to announce the most feared creature of all.
The Avenging Spirit. Something that could only be summoned by the cries of a wronged woman who wanted vengeance against the ones who'd hurt her.
Nebulous in form, he was bathed all in white. His hair, the translucent skin that covered his skeletal features. His feathers and buckskin. The only break from the color was the dark blue beadwork along his neckline.
"Why was I called forth?" he demanded.
Butterfly looked up. Her beautiful face contorted by grief, she appeared old and haggard now. Her hair blew around her body as she leveled a furious stare at them.
She pointed her finger at Ren's brother. "The Coyote killed my heart. So I want his as payment for what he unjustly took."
The Avenging Spirit bowed to her. Then he turned toward the men. His face changed from that of an old gaunt man with stringy hair to the face of ultimate evil. He opened his mouth and it dropped to the floor, contorting and elongating his features. The sight left Kateri horrified. Forget Hollywood, this was scarier than anything ever conceived by Wes Craven....
Out of his mouth flew a giant eagle with a lone ghostly warrior on its back. The warrior lifted his spear.
Ren stepped back, away from Coyote, and braced himself to fight.
With a discordant cry of vengeance that shook the very fabric of Mother Earth's gown, the warrior let fly his spear at Coyote's heart.
One moment Ren was standing out of the way. In the next, he was across the room where Coyote had been a heartbeat earlier, and Coyote was in his place. Before he could gather his wits and move, the spear flew through the center of his chest, piercing his heart. The force of it lifted him off his feet and pinned him to the wall.
Pain exploded through his body as he gasped for breath. The taste of blood filled his mouth. His eyesight dimmed. He was dying. After all the battles, all the fights ...
He would die by treacherous trickery.
By his brother's viciousness.
The warrior turned his eagle around and flew back into the Avenging Spirit's mouth. As quickly as they'd come, they were gone.
His breathing labored, Ren stared at his brother. "I would have given you my life had you asked for it."
"You taught me to take what I wanted." Coyote crossed the room and snatched the bone necklace from Ren's throat that held his Guardian seal-a turquoise thunderbird. He untied the pouch from Ren's belt where he kept his strongest magic and stones. "And I want your Guardianship."
Blood trickled from the corner of Ren's lips. In all his life, the Guardianship had been the only thing good that Ren had been chosen for. The only thing that had ever given him an ounce of pride, and made him feel worth something more than disdain and contempt. "You weren't chosen."
"And neither were you. Not really. The Guardian gave it to you out of pity." Coyote raked a sneer over him, and clenched Ren's necklace tightly in his fist. "You were never worthy of this." He seized the spear and drove it in even deeper, then laughed in triumph as Ren choked on his own blood.
With one last agony-filled gasp, Ren fell silent.
The pride on Coyote's face was sickening as he turned his attention to Butterfly. "I'm a Guardian now. You can love me again."
She curled her lip in repugnance. "I could never love you after what you've done. You're a monster."
He snatched her up by her arm. "You are mine and I will never share you. Make yourself ready for our wedding."
"Never."
He slapped her across the face. "You do not argue with me, woman. You obey." He let go of her so fast that she fell back across Buffalo's body, where she wept until she had no more tears.
She was still there when the maidens came and dressed her for Coyote.
At sundown, he returned for her. But before they could begin the ceremony that would join them together, the First Guardian ... Kateri's father ... appeared in the middle of the room. His dark eyes radiated fury as he glared his hatred at them both.
"I am here to claim the life of the one responsible for killing two Guardians."
Coyote gasped in terror. His mind whirled as he tried to think of some trick that could save his life. And while his brother's magic was powerful and had allowed Ren to battle the Guardian for a year and a day, it wasn't his magic. And it wouldn't be enough for him to save his own life.
Her father crossed the room in a determined stride that promised retribution. From his belt, he drew the sacred Dagger of Justice, and without hesitating, plunged it straight into the heart of the one who'd caused such turmoil and misery.
Butterfly staggered back as blood saturated her dress and ran across her braids. Instead of showing pain, she sighed in relief. Blood ran from her lips as she turned to Coyote. "I will be with my love now. Forever in his arms." She sank to the floor, where she died with the most blissful of smiles on her face.
His features contorted by his confusion, Coyote shook his head. "I don't understand."
Her father shrugged. "You were the tool who killed Buffalo. But Butterfly was the cause. Had she not been born, you wouldn't have taken the Guardian's life. She is the one responsible for his death, and for that of Makah'Alay."
"No, no, no, no. This isn't right. This wasn't how it was supposed to end." Raking his hands through his hair, Coyote went to his true love and cradled her in his arms one last time. She was so tiny and light. Her blood stained his wedding clothes and he wept at the loss of her.
And it was his loss.
She wouldn't be waiting for him on the other side. The pain of that knowledge tore him apart. She would greet that bastard Buffalo. A man who had caused him infinite grief and tried to alienate him from his father and from their people.
No ... it wasn't right that bastard would have her. Not after Coyote had endured torture and pain to come back to her and take her as his wife.
Damn you all!
Throwing his head back, he screamed in outrage. It wouldn't end like this. He'd been a good man. Obedient. All his life. And one by one, all of them had killed that.
First Makah'Alay, then Buffalo, and finally Butterfly.
They'd ruined his life and changed him forever. There was no way he would let them live a happy eternity together. Not after he'd assumed an immortal Guardianship that would leave him alone for eternity.
He reached into Ren's pouch and summoned the strongest demon elements there. "I curse you, Buffalo," he growled between clenched teeth. "You will live a thousand lives and never be happy in any of them. You will walk this earth, betrayed by all who look upon you. There will be no one place you call home. Not in any human lifetime. And you will never have my Butterfly." He blew his magic from his palm into the air so that it could be carried to the spirits who would make it so.
Then he looked down at the serene beauty of the Butterfly. So gentle. So sweet. The thought of cursing her stung him deep.
But she had scorned him. Betrayed him.
"Because of what you did to me, you will never marry the one you love. He will always die on his way to unite with you and you will spend your lifetimes mourning him over and over again. No peace in any of them. Not until you accept me in my true right. And if you do marry another, he will never trust you. You will never be happy in any marriage. Not so long as you have human blood within you." He reached into his pouch and drew the last of his brother's magic, then sent it into the wind.
"Do you know what you've done?"
Coyote looked up at Choo Co La Tah's approach. "I settled the score."
Choo Co La Tah laughed. "Such magic always comes back on the one who wields it. Whatever you cast for, you bring to shore."
"How so?"
He gestured out the window, toward the sky and the trees. "You know the law. Do no harm, and yet you have done much harm here today."
"They hurt me first."
Choo Co La Tah sighed. "And you have sown the seeds of your ultimate demise. When you curse two people together, you bind them. With that combined strength, they will have the ability to break their curse and kill you."
Coyote scoffed at him. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Arrogance. The number one cause of death among both peasant and king. Beware its sharp blade. More times than not, it injures the one who wields it most of all."
Coyote dismissed Choo Co La Tah's words. He had no interest in them. He would never suffer more. He'd already paid his dues. It was time for him to get his just rewards.
And he would ensure that they did, too. For all time.
Kateri pulled back as she experienced Coyote's hatred firsthand. It was a malevolent beast all its own. She left it there in the past, and looked up at Ren while he held her.
"Am I doing something wrong?" Ren asked with a furrowed brow. "I haven't hurt you, have I?" The concern in his tone warmed her.
How could anyone not treasure someone so sweet?
"No, honey. You definitely haven't done anything wrong. I just felt a jolt of hatred from your brother for you. It was so foul, it momentarily stunned me."
He started to speak, but she placed a finger on his lips to stop him. "Don't say it's your fault. You have suffered far more than he ever did. Yet you are still human. You never left that part of you behind."
"I wasn't always so."
"You were possessed. That's different."
Ren wasn't so sure about that. Yes, he'd allowed the Grizzly Spirit to take possession of his body, but he'd been aware even then what he was doing. And the Grizzly hadn't been inside him at the point he'd killed his father.
That, he'd done on his own.
He glanced down at the scar near his left hip where his father had almost gutted him. It had been a brutal fight. For all of his age, his father had still been an accomplished warrior. Ren was lucky he'd survived the fight.
It was also his self-awareness that had finally allowed him to break from the Grizzly and free himself. But that was a lot easier said than done. It'd taken weeks to get his life back.
And a mere heartbeat to lose that life again.
Kateri laid herself over him. He sucked his breath in sharply at the sensation of her naked breasts on his chest as she began to lave his jawline. All thoughts scattered. His body erupted as his head swam from sensations he'd all but forgotten.
Straddling him, she pressed the center of her body against his groin, making him even harder. Please don't let me embarrass myself. Afraid he wouldn't last long for her, he rolled her over so that he could peel her shoes and jeans from her.
His heart stopped beating as he saw her lying there, completely naked and inviting. She opened her legs for him and bent her knees, giving him a prime view of the part of her body he craved most. Her smile was warm as she reached for him.
He wanted to tell her how much that meant to him, but his mind couldn't formulate a single word past the thrumming heat in his blood.
Kateri arched a brow at Ren's hesitation. She saw the deep-seated need in his eyes. Still, he made no move to touch her. Rather, he licked her entire body with his hungry gaze.
Finally, he approached her like a feral predator on all fours. Crouching low, he slid his cheek against her calf in a tender caress that sent chills all over her. His gaze held hers captive as he reached to gently finger the part of her that was begging for his touch. He ran his thumb slowly down her cleft in a move that only made her want him more.
A slight smile curled his lips as he used his thumb to open her up for him, then he replaced his hand with his mouth.
Kateri cried out as pleasure singed her. Reaching down, she sank her hand into his thick hair while his tongue teased her mercilessly. For a man who hadn't had sex in eleven thousand years, he was doing a mighty fine job of it.
Ren closed his eyes as he savored the taste of her and let her cries wash over him. He took a lot of pride in the fact that she was enjoying his touch as much as he enjoyed pleasing her. The last thing he wanted was to be compared to her other lovers and be found lacking in any way.
He wanted her to be more than sated. Her hands played in his hair, stroking his scalp while she murmured endearments. And then, in one heartbeat, she tensed up and screamed out as she spasmed.
Amazed at how quickly she'd come for him, he waited until she was completely through before he undid his pants. When he went to remove them, she stopped him.
At first, he thought she'd changed her mind, until she rolled him over and pulled them free of his body.
Kateri took a moment to appreciate the sight of his tawny, naked body. Never in her life, other than on the cover of a bodybuilder's magazine, had she seen a man more ripped. Dang, he was fine. He could eat crackers, soup, anything he wanted ... what the hell, he could come to bed covered in sand and she wouldn't care.
She purred at him, causing him to arch a brow at the sound. Laughing, she slowly crawled up his body, stopping only long enough to lave and tease him.
Ren cried out at the sensation of her sliding her mouth over his cock. Windseer had never done that for him. His breathing labored, he knew he was forever lost to Kateri. For this kindness alone, there was nothing he wouldn't do for her. Nothing.
It's just sex.
Yeah, but she didn't have to have it with him. And the care she took, it was almost enough that he could pretend she had real feelings where he was concerned. What he wouldn't give, just once, to make love to a woman who would cry over his body the way Butterfly had cried for Buffalo.
The way Abigail would cry for Sundown.
I sound like an old woman.
But as soon as he had that thought, he heard Kateri in his head-one of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder when you are coming home at night. As much as he hated admitting it, she was right. While jealousy was the root of all evil, love was the source of all good. Jealousy brought out the worst in everyone. Love created the best. It was for jealousy that he had destroyed his own brother. But it was love of his best friend that brought him back and made him a defender again.
What about Coyote? He loved Butterfly. And there nothing beautiful in that relationship.
That wasn't true and he knew it. Coyote hadn't loved her. He'd lusted for her and he'd wanted to possess her. If he had really cared about Butterfly, he would have rather seen her happy with Buffalo than miserable with him. It was why his mother had released his father. She'd loved him enough to want to be with him only briefly. But she'd known that he would never be happy with her. Not while his heart belonged to another.
It was why Choo Co La Tah had married the love of his life to his best friend. Because they'd grown up together, Choo had never told her of his feelings. They were from the same clan and a marriage would have been forbidden. While Choo had dreamed of it, he'd let that dream go when she'd met another and fallen in love with him.
That selfless sacrifice was why the First Guardian had chosen Choo Co La Tah to be one of the Gate Guardians. Choo was able to put aside his interests for the benefit of others. While the Guardians had competed for the honor of their posts, those competitors had been chosen from warriors who had proven that they knew how to love. Warriors who understood that others came first.
Ren was the only exception. Forbidden by the First Guardian to compete for his stewardship, Ren had been chosen because of the hold Grizzly had on him.
If anyone understands why evil must be kept locked away, it is the one who danced with it for over a year. The one who has tasted its sweetness and then been burned by its bitter taste.
But Ren had never known the flavor of love. Not until he looked into a pair of gold-tinged eyes that reminded him of the man he'd once wanted to be.
He shook all over as she slowly licked her way up his body. She lifted herself up to look down at him with the most amazing smile he'd ever seen. Biting her lip, she slid herself onto him. Growling low in his throat, he shuddered at the sensation of his body inside hers. It took every bit of his self-control not to come instantly.
She took his hand into hers and rode him slow and easy while she smiled down at him. Ren lifted his hips, driving himself in even deeper. Until this moment, he'd never understood what it felt like to be welcomed somewhere. To be wanted. But as he looked into her eyes, he finally felt the warmth of home. Of belonging to someone other than himself.
Kateri watched the play of emotions on Ren's face. She wrinkled her nose teasingly at him. "Sorry I broke your record."
He scowled at her. "My record?"
"Longest stretch of celibacy ever. Guinness would be most impressed. And I seriously doubt you'll ever find a contender for your title."
He rewarded her with a warm, rich laugh. One that ended in a moan as he released himself inside her. He drove himself even deeper while he shuddered.
Once he was finished, she started to move to his side, but he held her on top of him. For once his emotions were completely hidden as he cupped her face in his hands, then kissed her.
Pulling back, he nuzzled his cheek against hers so that he could whisper in her ear. "I won't let anything happen to you."
"I know, sweetie. And I won't let it get you either."
Ren smiled at the endearment. For the first time in his extremely long existence, he felt truly intimate with someone. And it wasn't just because he'd seen visions of her life, nor was it from the sex. It came from the fact that he actually believed her promise.
He believed in her.
Yeah, the world was definitely going to end. He'd had sex and he trusted the woman he'd had it with. If that wasn't the sign of impending doom, he didn't know what was.
She kissed him on the tip of his nose before she slid off his body and dressed.
Pulling on his own clothes, Ren knew they should hurry, but he didn't want this to end. He'd had so few perfect moments in his life. He could count them on one hand. And none of them came close to this.
"Dadgumit!"
He arched a brow at her irritated tone. "What's wrong?"
"I broke a stupid nail." She held it up to show him. "I know it's ludicrous, right? But I still hate to lose one."
Then the smile faded from her face as she stared at him as if he was a stranger.
Dread hit his stomach hard. This couldn't be good. "What?"
"Why are your eyes blue?"
Ren went to conjure something so that he could see for himself, but the moment he tried, he made a frightening discovery.
He had no powers whatsoever. That, combined with blue eyes, could only mean one thing....
Dear gods, I'm mortal.