Talley started to say something, but her voice cracked, and she just gave up. Her arms were tight around my waist, and I found myself dropping kisses of comfort onto the crown of her head.
And then the images started cascading in my mind.
Maroon pick-up truck parked underneath the trees.
An ornate gate.
An old barn, red paint peeling.
Then they repeated, over and over again.
“Come on, girls.” Travis’s voice was kind, but demanding. “If we’re even a minute late getting upstairs we’ll both be in trouble.”
Talley stepped back. Even though her eyes were filled with tears, I could see purpose and understanding there. Those images weren’t by accident. I nodded slightly, letting her know I understood.
***
When Bob returned from escorting Talley back upstairs he wasn’t alone.
“You’re not going in, don’t even ask.” Travis was still lounged against the wall by the door, but his posture changed just enough to prove he was ready for action. Bob also took up his former post, but this time the gun was in his hand.
“Hey, Chuck,” I said from my crossed-legged pose in the middle of the cage floor. “What’s new?”
Charlie looked at the two guards, seeing the same aggressiveness as I did. He folded himself into a mirror image of my position, showing he was no threat. Bob’s grip on the gun eased up a bit, but both of the Shifters still looked battle ready.
“Quit my job,” he said, propping his elbows on his knees and resting his chin in his hands.
“Really? I thought you loved the debauchery of it all.”
“Got tired of having to update all my shots every other week. Anyway, I got kinda busy.”
“Yeah, that’s the tragedy of a job. Eats up all your time so you can’t do important things, like save Princess Peach from Bowser.”
“I’m so glad someone else gets it,” he said absentmindedly as his eyes roamed over my surroundings. “That’s some pen you got there, Scout. Chains on the wall and everything.”
“It’s luxurious, right? I must be a very good puppy.”
“Obviously. I just have a bed with my name printed on a little gold tag.”
“Poor mistreated mongrel.”
“Spoiled princess.”
We both sat up straighter at the same time as though the move was coordinated. Charlie’s focus had shifted from my surroundings to me, his eyes critically following my movement. In any other situation his intense focus would have been embarrassing, but I knew concern when I saw it.
“You look good,” he said.
“Charlie, you’re gonna make me blush,” I giggled, trying to ease the lines around his eyes.
He didn’t take the bait, all humor leeched out of him. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too,” I said around the lump that magically appeared in my throat.
Charlie shifted around so one knee was raised up beside him. “Scout, we need to talk.” His eyes focused on the concrete stretching between us.
“Okay…”
“Actually, I need to talk, and I need you to listen.”
This promised to be a lot of fun. “Okay.”
“That night, when Alex died—”
I couldn’t do this. “Charlie—”
“No.” His voice was a command. “I need to say this, Scout. Please, let me talk.”
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. Everything in my body was frozen.
“No interruptions.”
My chin bobbed down and back up as if resting a mechanical neck.
“That night, we were hunting for Alex. We’d been tracking the Cole’s hunting patterns and had a pretty good idea of where we could find them. For Jase, it was simple. We were going to find him, do a stealth attack, and leave him unable to move until the sunrise put him back together again so he would leave Timber and take the threat to your life along with him.
“Jase was on a quest to protect you, and so was I. But that wasn’t all it was to me. Jase didn’t like him because he was a wolf, and he could hurt you. I hated him because of the way he looked at you, the way you looked at him. I hated him because you chose to be with him instead of me.”
I squeezed my arms around my chest, trying to hold the shattered bits of my heart together by force.
“When I saw you there with him, touching him, something inside of me broke. My animal thought of you as mine, despite everything. I don’t remember anything after that. Jase told me what happened later, but my memories skip from seeing you cuddling with the wolf to sitting in a hospital waiting room, Talley telling me you would live.”
Charlie, who had always been too stubborn to cry, even when he wore the evidence of his dad’s latest bender all over his body, let the tears drip off his chin.
“Everyone tells me it was an accident, that I didn’t mean to kill him, but I think they’re wrong.” His eyes finally met mine, and I flinched at the anguish I saw there. “I am not a good person. I don’t have Tal’s heart of gold or your integrity. I don’t know what really happened that night, but I know it’s my fault. I know I will carry the guilt for what I did to Alex and his brother and you the rest of my life. And I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but you have to know I’m sorry. I should have said it sooner. I should have said it every minute of every day for the past three and a half months, but I was a coward, and I didn’t. So, I’m saying it now.
“Scout, I am so sorry.”
I rubbed at my eyes with my fists. “Can I talk now?”
Charlie nodded.
“I love you.” The words spilled out of my mouth. “I can’t remember ever not loving you.” I probably should’ve been guilt-stricken to say those words to Charlie just hours after maybe-a-dream Alex said them to me, but I wasn’t. I had loved Charlie my whole life. That emotion didn’t diminish when I fell in love with Alex.
Charlie sobbed at my declaration, and I almost lost the ability to speak. It was the most painful noise I ever heard in my life. “And you were right when you said we can’t go back to where we were. That night changed everything forever. Alex will always come between us.” Saying the words aloud, I knew they were true. Heartbreakingly true. “But there are some things that will never change. I will always be your friend. A part of my heart will always be yours. And I will always, always forgive you.” Even if I couldn’t forget.