“No, thank you, honey. I made the potato salad and slaw last night. The ribs are soaking in barbecue sauce, so everything’s ready.”
“I could grill the ribs.”
Her uncle scowled at her. “That’s my job, missy. Don’t even think about it.”
Jenna snickered. “Well, I could use a little girl gossip upstairs.”
Bless Jenna. “Sure.”
Savannah stood. “I’m coming with you.”
“Me, too,” Tara said, handing Sam off to Mick, who grinned and snuggled the baby in the crook of his arm.
“Liz will be unhappy she’s at the game today and missing out on this,” Tara said after they moved upstairs and got comfortable in Alicia’s aunt’s room.
“Alicia looked like she needed a break from all things baseball,” Jenna said, looking to Alicia to start the conversation.
The last thing she wanted to do was talk about it, but when faced with her family, it all came pouring out. She told them everything that had happened with Garrett, including being taken off his case.
“What a dick,” Jenna said. “I can’t believe after all you did for him that he dumped you like that.”
“Men can be so obtuse at times,” Savannah said. “Have you spoken to him since that happened?”
“No. He did call, but I didn’t answer. I don’t see the point.”
Tara, who’d pulled up a spot on the bed next to Alicia, patted her hand. “You can’t hide from him forever, you know. Eventually, the two of you are going to have to have a conversation.”
Alicia sighed. “I know. I’m just not ready yet. We’ve been through so much, and he really needs to concentrate on his pitching.”
“Oh, bullshit,” Jenna said. “He really needs to come over to your house, beg your forgiveness, and kiss your ass for what he did to you.”
Alicia let out a laugh. “I wouldn’t go that far. He has to do what he thinks is best for his career.”
“You’re what’s best for his career.” Jenna lifted her chin, clearly on Alicia’s side no matter what.
And that’s why Alicia loved her. “Max is the head of sports medicine. It’s not like he sucks at what he does.”
“And you’re the one who got Garrett pitching again, aren’t you?” Savannah asked. “Is it possible he took his frustration at not becoming a starter right away out on you and let this Max person sway him into switching therapists? As I recall, Max wasn’t very happy about getting the boot in the first place, was he?”
Savannah had a point that Alicia hadn’t considered. “No, he wasn’t.”
“So there could have been some behind-the-scenes maneuvering on Max’s part to shift you out and put himself back in charge of your guy’s therapy. Then, when Garrett moves back into the starting rotation, who gets all the credit?” Tara asked.
“Max likely will,” Alicia admitted.
Tara nodded. “That’s what I thought. Jenna and Savannah are right. You need to talk to Garrett.”
Alicia stared at all of them. “And tell him what? That I’m pissed he pushed me out? It’s his prerogative. He can choose which therapist he uses. Max is the best.”
Tara cocked a brow. “Is he the best for Garrett? Or are you the best for him?”
“I think I’m the best for him. I got him to stop moaning about never pitching again. And goddamn it, he is pitching, just not the way he thought he’d be. And he will be a starter again.”
“Then tell him that,” Jenna said. “And when you’re doing that, also tell him he acted like an asshole.”
“One would think he’d come to that realization on his own,” Savannah suggested.
Alicia sighed. She didn’t know what to do. But she definitely wasn’t going to go begging to Garrett. He would either figure out he needed her or he wouldn’t. In the meantime, she had other players she was assigned to and her own job to protect.
Her own heart to protect.
“But it’s more than just your job and your working relationship with Garrett, isn’t it?” Tara asked, keying in on what was really bothering Alicia.
“Maybe.”
“No maybe about it. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
She turned to look at Jenna. “Yes. I’m in love with him. Or I thought I was.”
“Is he in love with you?” Savannah asked.
“I don’t know. We never talked about it.”
Savannah slanted her a look. “Did you ever tell him how you felt?”
“It was never the right time.”
A collective chorus of groans filled the room.
Alicia drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. “So now what do I do? After what happened, I’m sure as hell not going to tell him I love him. It would seem like begging for my job back.”
“No, you can’t tell him now,” Savannah said. “The ball is definitely in his court. He has to come to you. He owes you that much.”
“So, now I wait?”
Jenna nodded. “Since you’re in love with him, I guess waiting is the best thing to do. I agree with everyone else—you can’t go to him. Not with all those feelings you have. Then if the two of you end up together, you’ll always be left wondering. It’s definitely his move. If he’s worth it at all, you shouldn’t have to wait long.”
“And if he doesn’t come to me?”
Tara shot her a look of sympathy. “Then he’s not worth waiting for, honey.”
TWENTY-NINE
IT HAD BEEN A REALLY GOOD DAY. GARRETT HAD pitched two solid innings. Things were going well. He’d been working with Max, who seemed to think therapy was progressing nicely.
Manny had told him his pitches were getting stronger, hitting the mark, and if all went well, he might be rotating into the starting lineup within the next month or so.
Things were looking up.
But he still felt an emptiness inside that couldn’t be filled, because Alicia wasn’t in his life, wasn’t the center of his universe, and that just plain sucked.
He’d called and texted her a few times after Max had removed her from his case, but she hadn’t answered. And like a coward, he’d stopped trying, focused instead on his pitching, figuring that maybe it had been for the best, that maybe they’d had a great fling and he should just look forward, not back.
Problem was, she filled his head at night when he lay in bed, and on the road all he could think about was talking to her. When he was at home, he wanted to see her, be close to her. He wanted her at his place. He wanted to have dinner with her, sit on the couch with her watching movies. He wanted her in his bed.
He ached for her. Like it or not, she’d become an integral part of his life that had nothing to do with rehabbing his shoulder. His shoulder was fine. He was nearly 100 percent recovered now, and eventually, he wouldn’t have needed her for that anymore anyway.
But he’d always need her to fill the space in his heart that had opened up and let her in.
And that’s what he needed to tell her. He couldn’t allow fear to keep him from having something—someone—that meant so much to him.
She’d been busy working on rehab for some of the other guys, so he rarely got the chance to talk to her during treatment and workouts anymore.
On an off day, he waited until she finished and showed up at her house that night, hoping like hell she hadn’t moved on, that she didn’t have a date over when he rang the doorbell.
When she answered, she was wearing skintight yoga pants and a long-sleeved shirt. God, she looked good. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her. But he couldn’t. He’d lost that right because he was stupid.
Her eyes widened when she saw it was him at the door.
“Oh. Hi,” she said.
“Hi yourself. I know I should have phoned, but you didn’t answer the last few times I called you, so I thought I’d drop by.”
“Yeah. Sorry. My feelings were a little hurt about being dumped as your therapist.”
He loved that she was so forward and honest. “Can I come in?”
She hesitated. He didn’t know what he’d do if she said no.
“Sure.”
He stepped into the living room and turned. “I feel like I’m always apologizing to you.”
She didn’t say anything.
“Maybe it’s because I’m always f**king up. I’m not very good at this relationship thing. I’ve never had one before. I’ve dated here and there, but nothing long lasting. You and me—I think we’ve got something special, and I feel like I let it go.”
“You didn’t let it go. You’re mixing the work aspect with the personal.”
He took a deep inhale. “But they are mixed together. Or they were. In my head, anyway.” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “I got used to seeing you every day. I got used to you taking care of me. And when you weren’t there . . .”
She frowned. “So you’re upset I’m not your therapist anymore?”
He was screwing this up. He shook his head. “No. I mean, yes. What you did for me—you turned my life and my career around. I can’t thank you enough for that. Manny thinks I’ll be a starting pitcher again soon.”
“That’s good news. I told you that you would be.”
“I know you did. I guess when I started pitching again, I wanted it to happen right away. And when it didn’t, everything got confused for me. I looked for someone to blame for that.”
She crossed her arms. “And I was convenient?”
She wasn’t going to make this easy for him. “Yeah, I guess so. You were responsible for my recovery, for helping me pull my head out of my ass and make me see that I could pitch again. And when things didn’t go the way I wanted them to, I blamed you. When Max came to me and told me that he could get me the rest of the way, I jumped at the chance.”
“I could have gotten you there, Garrett.”
“I know. Which is what I told Max. He’s very good at what he does. But he’s not you.”
She stepped closer. “You told Max what?”
“I told Max that while I appreciated his working with me, I’ve grown used to you as my therapist, and I’d rather work with you.”
She gaped at him. “You did not say that to him.”
“I did. He’s fine with it.”
Her lips lifted. “I’m pretty sure Max isn’t fine with it.”
“I don’t care if he is or not. What I do care is how you feel.” He crossed the distance between them and picked up her hand to hold it; he’d missed her touch so much. “I hurt you that day. And I let you walk away from me. I’m sorry for that. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve . . . missed you, too, Garrett.”
“I love you, Alicia.”
Her eyes widened. “You do?”
“I do. I can’t tell you how much that scares me. The breakup of my parents’ marriage kind of soured me on the whole idea of love and permanence. You know how I am about family. Hell, I don’t even see my own much anymore because it makes me so damned uncomfortable to be around them. It reminds me of pain and loss and things I don’t want to remember. But then I see you with your whole family—and the love that surrounds you—and it makes me believe that maybe we could have something like that, that maybe that kind of love actually does exist.”
Alicia was swamped with so many emotions at once she couldn’t process them all. Relief that he’d shown up—that he’d come to her and laid his feelings on the line—and utter shock that he’d told her he loved her.
He’d even apologized and taken responsibility for hurting her. It took a strong man to stand up to his failings. A lot of men couldn’t do that.
She laid her hand on Garrett’s chest and tilted her head back to look into the face she loved so much. “You did hurt me. I’ve put everything I have into making you a pitcher again. And you threw it all away because you got scared.”
This time he didn’t look away. “Yes. I’m sorry.”
“You can’t run every time the world doesn’t turn in the direction you want it to. You might not become a starting pitcher again at the time you think is right for you, but you will start again, Garrett. I know you will. I believe in you. I’ve always believed in you.”
She felt his shudder. He clasped his hands over hers, brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss there. “You’ve always believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Thank you for that. And now I have to ask if you’ll forgive me for hurting you, even though I don’t deserve it. Because I love you, and I want to be with you.”
“How will that work, Garrett? I can’t be your therapist and your girlfriend.”
He cocked a brow. “Why not? There’s no rule that says you can’t work for the team and have a relationship with a team member, is there?”
“Of course there is. It’s in my contract with the team.”
He took a step back. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. How can you not know that? I just assumed you did, or that it’s in your contract, too. I can’t fraternize on a personal basis with any team member without losing my job. Why do you think I was so freaked out when the other players caught us kissing?”
“You have got to be kidding me. Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”