“Give me five minutes to check on everyone,” Cole whispered to me, “and then I want some time alone with you.”
I nodded, already counting down the seconds.
He gave me another kiss before joining his friends at the Ping-Pong table, and they each clasped palms before punching each other in the shoulder. It was like a secret handshake or something.
Nana ruffled my hair, saying, “Oh, to be young again.”
“You’re still young enough to go on the prowl,” I said, then immediately wished I could snatch back the words.
She smiled, and suddenly she looked ten years younger. “Speaker’s remorse?” she asked with a laugh. “No worries. I might enjoy looking, but I’m not interested in taming one.” Rising on her tiptoes, she kissed my cheek. “I’m headed back to bed. I just came down to find out what was going on. Have fun...but not too much.”
“Love you, Nana.”
“Love you, too.” She flittered away.
I munched on a crab cake and watched as Cole went from friend to friend, talking and laughing. He epitomized beauty, everything right in the world...in my world. He moved to Veronica’s side, and said something that made her frown. There wasn’t a single spark of jealousy inside me. Good Ali.
“By the way, I want you to know I’m done coming on to you, Ali Bell,” Gavin said as he approached me. “You’ve never looked at me the way you look at Cole, and I’m starting to think that’s a look I’d like to receive.”
“Aw. This means my little boy is growing up. I’ll even help you out with rock-solid tip to get you started.”
“And that is?”
“Give up your ho-bag ways.”
Grinning, he bumped my shoulder with his own. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a brat?”
“I’m just certain Cole has mentioned it a time or twelve.”
“Smart boy.” He enfolded me in his arms, giving me another hug.
I hugged him back.
“Are you happy with the way things worked out?” he asked.
I cupped his cheeks, and the action reminded me of the vision. I looked at Cole, still with Veronica. The tension he’d worn like a second skin had fallen away. “I am. But what about you?”
“Never better. Veronica and I have decided to move here. I don’t know her reasons, but mine are simple. Alabama is an ocean of untapped, horny fish and daddy likes his seafood.”
I laughed. “I’m glad you’re staying. I would have missed you.” My gaze returned to Cole. He was watching me now. There was no suspicion in his eyes, no anger. He still trusted me, the same way I trusted him.
He closed the distance between us.
“I’m more certain by the second that the visions don’t always mean what we think they do. And now your five minutes are up,” he said, taking my hand. “It’s time for our talk.”
“Talk? That’s what we’re calling it these days?” Gavin said with a laugh.
We passed Mr. Ankh, and then Mr. Holland, and my cheeks heated.
“Where are you going?” Mr. Holland demanded.
“Ali’s old room.”
“You have ten minutes. And then I come up to get you.”
From the corner of my eye, I think I saw Cole flip off his dad.
“Fine, fifteen minutes,” Mr. Holland grumbled.
“You give them fifteen. I’m giving them five,” Mr. Ankh said. “Her grandmother has a temper and I don’t want to face it again.”
Nana had a temper?
The moment we entered my old room and shut the door, I turned to him and wrapped my arms around him. We were kissing in the next instant, and it was electric, consuming, the force of it so great I felt as if I became a part of him.
“Ali,” he said, when he finally came up for air. “People are always throwing the word love around, but before you, I never did. And I’d never needed to hear it, either. Then, the other night, you uttered those words to me, and it’s okay if you don’t remember, but I heard them, and it affected me, and now I want to hear the words for real because I love you so much it hurts. I need to hear the words. If you’re ready to give them.”
Huge step. The one that would send me over the cliff.
He took my hand and shoved it under his shirt, placing my palm on his skin, just over his heart, where the last part of my name was etched. “You’re a part of me, and you’ll always be a part of me, and if you need more time, that’s all right, too.”
“Cole...”
He shook his head. “Don’t say anything. Not yet. I want to get the rest of this out.”
My eyes widened. There was more?
“I think I’ve told you how stubborn you are, how curious and now, even jealous, and you’re also quick tempered, and you’ve got the meanest right cross of all time.”
“Hey,” I said, losing a little of my happy buzz.
“But I get more joy from your smiles than anything else,” he continued. “I look at you, and I want you. Actually, I have only to think about you to want you. There’s a sweetness to you, a vulnerability you allow so few people to see, but I’m one of the lucky ones and I’ll be forever grateful.”
Oh.
Who was I kidding? I’d already leaped off the cliff.“You’re mine, Ali Bell.”
Silence.
“Can I talk now?” I asked.
He nodded stiffly.
Did he fear what I had to say? “Breaking up with you was the toughest thing I’ve ever gone through. At least I thought so at the time. Staying away from you proved tougher. From the moment our eyes first met, I’ve been drawn to you. Not just because you’re the hottest guy I’ve ever met, but also because you have a core of courage and honor and when I’m with you, I feel safe and protected, and even cherished. I might be yours, but you are certainly mine, and I’m never letting you go. I love you, too, Cole Holland.”
“Thank God.” His hold on me tightened.
Now for the bad news. “When I’m no longer able to use the antidote,” I said softly, “I want to use the flames on me.”
“No.”
“Yes,” I said. “You must.”
“I can’t lose you.”
“Maybe you won’t.” To-do: survive.
“Maybe I will.”
“Faith,” I said. “Have faith in me, in this. The last time you didn’t, we fell apart.”
“Ali—”
“Light will chase away the darkness,” I interjected.
“Ali,” he repeated again.
“I know. I know it’s hard.” I kissed him and said nothing more. But I didn’t change my mind.
I never would.
Chapter 29
End at a New Beginning
For the next week, I floated on clouds of bliss. I stayed dosed up on the antidote, so I stayed somewhat strong, though I had moments of utter weakness and moments of depraved hunger.
Z.A. was fighting.
Cole rarely left my side. He showed me the Christmas present he’d gotten for me—a drawer in his bedroom. I’d jumped into his arms, wound my legs around his waist and whooped like a madwoman. He’d broken up with Mackenzie when she moved in, citing things were getting too serious. For me, he said, things couldn’t get serious enough.
Afterward, he’d taken me to visit Jaclyn. Poor girl. Since our rescue, she had turned away every visitor. Me, she’d let inside her bedroom, and she’d hugged me and sobbed until she’d passed out from exhaustion.
I was now determined to draw her back into the world.
Wren and Poppy had been there, hanging out with Justin. They knew he and Cole were friends once again, so I was a little surprised to learn Wren and Justin were still dating. I was also surprised when the girls talked to me, as if we were still on decent terms, and promised to call.
Change. No matter where we were, it always showed up.
Right now all of the slayers and those in the know were in Cole’s barn, gathered around a huge TV screen, watching a video of five-year-old Cole being trained by his father to fight zombies.
He was beyond adorable—Cole, not his father—with a mop of black hair and big violet eyes. He got a little overeager with the nunchaku and nailed his dad between the legs. The crowd burst into laughter.
I was perched on his lap. He grinned at me, saying, “Yeah. I’m just that good.”
I loved this playful side of him.
Who was I kidding? I loved every side of him.
Kat, who sat beside us, shouted, “Rewind that!” and threw popcorn at the screen. “Mr. Holland’s expression was all, like, oh, no, I’m going to need my balls reattached, and Cole’s was all, you’re about to lose something else, sucka.”
She and Frosty had not broken up once since she’d confessed her illness. And Reeve’s talk with Bronx had gone better than she’d dreamed—and exactly as Kat and I had expected. He was fully committed to her and demanded exclusivity.
Everyone was so happy. Even Veronica seemed to be at peace. (I wondered if she’d made use of Gavin again.)
I rested my head on Cole’s shoulder, and he hugged me tight. We still hadn’t had sex. As much time as he’d spent with me, Nana had spent with me. And if not Nana, Mr. Holland or Mr. Ankh. Or Kat and Reeve. We were never left alone, and I got it, I did. Everyone knew Cole’s kisses sometimes overwhelmed me, allowing Z.A. to take over my body.
Sometimes not even a kiss was necessary. And oh, glory, now was one of those times. I was rubbing my nose against the length of his neck, I realized, barely even conscious of it, getting caught up in the sweetness of his scent. My mouth watered.
Hungry, I thought.
No. Oh, no.
Smell so good.
No! Never.
Must feed!
No.
Shaking, I held my breath and stood. “I...have to go,” I said.
“Something wrong?” he asked, looking up at me and frowning. He held on to my waist, keeping me in place.