I look down at him and squint.
He stares back. His eyes are bleary, and red, and now that I look closely, tired. Not tired like he needs sleep. But tired in a way I can relate to. The kind of tired where your body feels heavy and your mind feels empty. “Never mind,” he says in a soft voice that I’ve never heard before. He says it, but he doesn’t stop staring.
“What?” I ask, getting uncomfortable.
“Why’d you come in here?”
“I was…” I was looking for my money so I could leave. But this guy. These guys… they are pulling me towards them somehow. JD and his charm. Ark and his distance. And despite the fact that they take advantage of girls for a living, they feel very… vulnerable. It feels precarious. Like the whole thing might come crashing down at any moment. Like they are held together by some invisible thread. And not some mental connection or shared experience, either. Although I have no doubt they have all that too.
Held together by a thread that’s invisible because it’s nearly gone.
We are alike, then. Aren’t we?
Three people brought together by the early-morning rain.
Two of us clinging together, trying to stick it out. Ride the wave until it crashes, and then help each other up to start all over again.
One of us already dead. Still walking, but not living. Waiting to be saved. Or maybe wanting to be the one who does the saving.
“I was looking for you,” I finally say. His eyes have never left mine. They are pleading now. They are pleading for me to tell him something, but I don’t know him. So I have no idea what that is. He remains silent as my words echo in my head, so I fill in the space with what I want instead. “Can we wait for JD together?”
Ark’s eyes. Dear God. They are filled with so much. “JD might not come back for a while.” And the tone of Ark’s voice explains everything. Fear. His eyes are filled with fear for his best friend.
“Why?” I ask back, my voice softer than his.
Ark takes a long draw of air and then covers his eyes with his hand before he speaks. “JD’s got a drug problem. He kicked it a long time ago, but he’s tempted, ya know?” Ark lifts his hand away from his eyes for a moment to see if I’m getting this. “And the scar.” His eyes dart to the back of my neck and my fingers slip under my hair to touch it automatically. “That scar might be his undoing.”
“I don’t know anything, Ark.”
He smiles a little when I say his name. “They never do, Blue.” He studies my reaction, which might in fact be a blush. Thankfully the light is low. “Do you like the pictures?”
I look up at the monitor and watch them as they flash by. Two or three seconds is not enough time to study them. And I feel like I look a mess in them. I’m wearing that wet and filthy dress from the night before. My bare feet and open legs. It all says… sad.
And I am sad. So I guess it’s accurate. He’s captured me perfectly.
A sad and desperate girl lost in the rain.
“Yes,” I say, still watching the slide show. “I love them.”
“Me too.”
“Can I wait with you?” I ask again. He never answered me and there’s no way I can be alone tonight. I’d rather be with almost anyone than be alone. But—I look over at him. Study his face. He looks hard. His jawline is straight and distinct. The stubble on his face tells me he hasn’t shaved in more than a day. And his eyes… He’s much better than just anyone. “Please,” I add.
“How about I wait with you instead?”
I don’t understand, but then he swings his legs over my head and stands up. I’m pulled to my feet and he takes my hand and leads me back down the hallway to JD’s room. “We can wait for him in here,” Ark says, as we enter.
I don’t argue. I know there’s some sort of struggle going on between them over me, so this must be his answer to keep the peace. He lifts the covers and motions for me to get in. I do. And he walks around to the other side of the bed and takes a seat, leaning over, with his hands over his face.
His back is covered with the same tattoo as JD’s. A huge piece that covers all the skin. Two dragons, wrestling—and yet not fighting. Their bodies make a circle, and it feels a little bit like the yin-yang sign. Dark and light. Good and evil.
There’s a sphere between the two dragon heads and I reach out and touch it, making him shudder. “What’s it mean?” I ask. “The ball in the middle?”
He turns his head a little, so he can look over his shoulder. “Everything, Blue. It’s everything. The world. Life. Dreams. Money. Happiness.”
“Are you two fighting over it?” I don’t know why I assume the dragons are Ark and JD, but I just do.
“No,” he says, lifting his legs and lying back with me. He slips an arm underneath my neck and pulls me into him, a definite plea for intimacy. “No, we’re not fighting, Blue. We’re partners. We’re in it together. There’s a banner that runs along the bottom and JD has the Latin version. ‘Omne trium perfectum.’ Every set of three is perfect.”
“What’s yours say?”
“‘Not everything should come in threes.’”
I laugh. “Could you be more opposite?”
It’s quiet for a while after that. His breathing evens out and matches mine. My eyes close and I’m in the twilight of sleep where my thoughts rush around like a madman’s dream. “No,” he finally answers. “We are the definition of opposite.”