Chapter One
Kinley Kohl looked at herself in her custom Pnina Tornai white wedding dress with its sweetheart neckline and lacy, glittery bodice…and she wanted something more. More emotion. More excitement. Just more. But she didn’t know what.
Her dress was gorgeous. The elegant hotel, all decorated in wedding regalia, looked stunning. No doubt, her groom-to-be had dressed impeccably for the occasion. The sky above Manhattan was a cloudless, perfect blue. Five hundred of the country’s wealthiest and most influential people waited to see her walk down the aisle in the Plaza’s grand ballroom. It was a dream wedding, but the encroaching panic made it feel more like her nightmare.
Was it too late to run screaming down Fifth Avenue?
“Are you sure you want to wear that dress?” Becks asked, standing behind her and eyeing her critically.
Kinley sighed. It was a good thing her father hadn’t remarried and brought a wicked stepmother into her life. She hardly needed a hypercritical parent when she had her sister. “What’s wrong with it?”
There was always something wrong, according to Beckin Kohl Abernathy. Admittedly, her sister was one of the most prominent fashion plates in New York. Society looked to Becks for style advice, while those same women, along with the tabloids, mostly called Kinley unpleasantly plump.
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, hon. The dress is fabulous.” Becks gave her a little half hug, careful not to crush or ruffle her perfectly coiffed platinum hair. It was longer in the front than the back and had an asymmetry that accentuated her high cheekbones and drew attention to her well-glossed lips.
“It just seems a little…snug.” Becks gave a delicate wince. “Did you and Greg decide to start your family early?”
Kinley turned on her sister, feeling her face flush with humiliation. “I’m not pregnant.”
In fact, what Becks suggested was impossible. She and Greg had never shared a bed. Actually, Kinley had never had sex with anyone. And now, she was about to become a virgin sacrifice to help the family she loved. Of course, it would be easier to feel good about this whole choice if her sister wasn’t quite so judgmental.
“Well, I guess stress eating with such a big wedding is understandable.” Becks sent her a tight smile of sympathy. “But unadvisable. Don’t frown. I’m only saying that for your own good. The press is already unkind to you.”
Tears filled Kinley’s eyes. She had eaten only protein shakes, brown rice, and fish for three weeks. She’d lost thirteen pounds so she could fit perfectly into this dress. She thought it had worked…until now. “I want to be alone, Becks.”
Her sister sighed, brushing imaginary lint from the sleek gray sheath she’d selected for the bridesmaids. Kinley had wanted a soft pink, but Becks had insisted that her choice was much more elegant. Her older sister had a way of getting what she wanted.
“I didn’t mean to upset you on your wedding day when I know you’re already nervous. I’m sorry, Kinley. I’m being a bitch. Don’t mind me. I’m sure Greg will think you look lovely.”
But now she couldn’t look at herself and not see the slight curve of her stomach that no amount of dieting ever eradicated. She wasn’t a size six. Hell, she wasn’t even a ten. The dress had been custom made because it didn’t come in her size. She sniffled a little.
“Don’t cry, Kin.” Becks grabbed a tissue and handed it to her. “This is your wedding day, and you’re marrying the richest guy we know. What could you possibly have to cry about?”
“I don’t love him.” There she’d said it. She was shocked everyone hadn’t guessed. Her father kind of knew, but he was ignoring it. Becks couldn’t possibly think she loved Greg. They had nothing in common, but each had something the other needed.
Becks rolled her eyes and crossed the room to reach for the champagne sitting by her bouquet. “Is that all? No woman I know loves her husband, at least no one in our world.”
That stunned Kinley. She’d always wondered, but… “Not even you?”
“Please…” With a surprisingly unladylike snort, her sister rolled her eyes. “After Brian and I got married, I tossed out my birth control. The key to my future was in spitting out a couple of kids and tying him up legally. Even if he starts thinking with his pecker and tries to trade me in for a younger model, he’s going to pay handsomely for the privilege.”
“Becks, how could you think like that?” Children weren’t to be used for a payday.
Then Kinley started imagining her own children. Panic engulfed her again. She couldn’t imagine being pregnant by Greg. She couldn’t even imagine sleeping with him, like married people were supposed to do. And by sleeping, she was sure that Greg expected something more active than snoring.
Kinley gulped back her nerves. He was good-looking, but she wasn’t attracted. Did that make any sense? How could she have babies with someone she had no interest in touching intimately?
Becks gave her a dazzling grin. “It was hell for a few years, but the nanny certainly helped. My personal trainer whipped my body back into shape, and it was bye-bye pregnancy pounds. Then when the kids turned six, I shipped them off to boarding school. Now, life is grand again. My two angels are practically my retirement fund.” She chuckled. “If Brian wants a divorce, he’ll have to pay through the nose before he sees his kids again. That’s how I’ve kept my hand wrapped firmly around his balls. Oh, his dick probably runs around on me, but as long as I have his testicles, he’s not going anywhere. You should take a page out of my book.”
“No.” That parody of marriage wasn’t at all what Kinley had in mind. Shouldn’t “'til death do us part” be about commitment and devotion? “That’s you, Becks. Mom loved Dad.”
Kinley wished her mother were still here. Mom would never have allowed either of her daughters to marry someone they couldn’t give their hearts to. Her father was a wonderful man, but…he was weak. Though the situation wasn’t entirely his fault, he’d put her in a position that basically forced her to marry Greg. If she didn’t, they would all be ruined.
“Not in the beginning,” Becks said. “You have this silly, white-lace ideal of their marriage, but Daddy married Mom because Granddaddy told him that if he didn’t, Daddy was getting cut off. Aunt Mayrene gave me the whole story. Daddy ran off to become an artist and ran right back three weeks later and proposed. He liked the art part, but apparently he didn’t love the starving.”
“Neil and Sharon Landry are in love.” They were the sweetest couple she knew. They sent out the loveliest Christmas cards with all four of their kids dressed in red sweaters while Neil and Sharon held up mistletoe and kissed. She’d looked at that last card and wondered if she would ever be so in love.