He jerked away, then elbowed Macen in the shoulder. “She needs to eat.”
Food was the last thing on her mind.
With a jerky nod, Hammer pulled her into his lap. His erection prodded her backside, every bit as hard and demanding as Liam’s. Meshed against his broad chest, Macen pressed close, his feverish heat surrounding her. She still shivered.
Raine blinked up into his hazel eyes. His breathing was rough. He looked at her as if she was the treasure he’d never expected to find.
Liam cupped her chin and tilted her gaze to him. “Take a nibble, love.”
As he held a chunk of pineapple between his fingers, Raine opened, biting the plump fruit between her teeth. The juice seeped past her lips, dribbling onto her chin as Liam bent forward, sliding his tongue along the sweet path before he claimed her lips in another demanding kiss.
Hammer cupped her hip, his fingers skating over the curve of her ass. She could feel his stare burning into her as he watched. “That’s it. Give yourself to us. Feel me. Open for him. Let us take care of you.”
“Please,” she whispered as Liam eased away. “More.”
God, they couldn’t leave her like this. But apparently they planned to because they spent the rest of the meal passing her back and forth. In between bites of chicken, salad, bread, and fruit, they caressed her, whispered to her, aroused the hell out of her. She gulped down her wine and her mind raced, circling on one thought: how perfect this felt.
When the men’s plates were empty, and she’d eaten enough to stop her stomach from rumbling, Liam stood and lifted her, then set her on his vacant chair.
Beside him, Hammer rose to his feet. “Stay with Seth and Beck. In a few minutes, they’ll give you instructions.”
“Yes, Sir.” What else could she say? She suspected they meant to start the work they’d brought her here to do. Raine wanted and needed to finish it. But she’d be lying if she didn’t admit the whole idea made her nervous as hell. Still, she refused to disappoint them or continue existing as an emotional cripple.
As she watched them go, Raine bit her lip nervously.
“How you doing so far, princess?” Beck leaned in and rested his elbows on the table.
“I’m all right.” She heard the unsteadiness of her voice.
Seth shook his head, then sent Beck a look of annoyance.
“Let’s start again, Raine,” Beck growled in his badass Dom voice. “What’s going on behind those pretty blue eyes? You’re here to open up. Let’s have it.”
Beck and Seth both sent her intent stares, and she couldn’t help feeling like a bug under a microscope. “I’m not sure where to begin. I have all these feelings and questions…and crazy notions. And they’re driving me nuts.”
“Those two haven’t exactly given you a lot of peace today so you could think things through.” Beck grinned. “Of course, that’s on purpose.”
“Of course,” Raine said wryly, rolling her eyes.
“How did you expect it to feel?” Seth asked.
“I don’t know. Everything happened so fast this morning. When I agreed to their bargain, I didn’t have time to picture much. But this is like a dream. I keep expecting to wake up and find myself miserable and alone again. Because when I’m with them, everything is right in my world.”
“It should feel that way.” Seth smiled. “Tell us your questions.”
A million of them circled in her head. “I don’t exactly know why they’re doing this. They’ve told me what they think I want to hear, but… Liam says he loves me, and I guess he wants me back someday, but Hammer treated me like his sister for six years, so—”
“You mean except the night he fucked you endlessly?” Beck cut in.
Raine crossed her arms over her chest and sighed at him. “Except that one. But you’ve seen him do it. You know what I mean. How many other women did he take to bed while I stood there in plain sight? He acted like I was invisible until Liam took an interest in me.”
“Oh, princess. You were a lot of things to Hammer, but never invisible. That man loves you.”
She reared back and scowled. “No, he—”
“Loves you,” Beck insisted.
Equal parts joy and terror sparked through her at the sadist’s emphatic comeback. Still, that familiar self-doubt managed to worm its way back in.
“He cares, but—”
“Cares?” Beck snarled. “Do you think Hammer is the sort of man who goes all out for every waif who crosses his path? Do you think he shelters every lost girl by providing doctors and help, money, time, and support? He gave you almost everything you ever needed, princess.” He laughed gruffly. “Shit, when Liam brought you here the first time, you should have seen Hammer curl up in bed with your clothes and inhale your scent, like that would bring you back. When you ran from Shadows a few days ago, he sounded prepared to burn down the world to find you. And you think he merely cares? Grow up, Raine.”
“Liam loves you, too,” Seth said quietly. “If you’re having trouble believing it, stop. I’ve known O’Neill a long time. It took me less than two minutes of seeing the man with you to know that you’re everything to him.”
Their words hit her squarely in the chest. Maybe they were right. Liam and Hammer wouldn’t talk out their strife and drop everything to help her if they didn’t more than care.
Raine released a shaky breath and closed her eyes. Tears threatened. “I don’t know why they would love me. I’ve made their lives really difficult. Hammer practically had to finish raising me, and Liam has tried so hard… I’ve fought. I’ve hidden. I’ve lied.”
“Stop beating yourself up.” Seth took her hand. “You’re doing the right thing now. That’s what matters.”
“I hope it’s not too little, too late. Up until today, I was convinced that I’d destroyed their friendship. But seeing them together like this…” Raine groped for the right words. “That’s what their bond should be.”
Seth nodded. “You’re right.”
“Couldn’t agree more,” Beck added. “All that bickering bugged the shit out of me, especially since I think, deep down, they want the same fucking thing. You should have seen the kitchen after Thanksgiving.”
“I did. What the hell was that?”
“Language.” Seth raised a brow at her.
Raine dropped her gaze. “Sorry, Sir.”
“I think that was them beginning to work it out.” Beck shrugged. “Throwing dishes is for pussies, and if Hammer hadn’t been so wrenched, I would have told him that. But their friendship wasn’t right even before you came along, princess.”
“Hammer told me not to take all the responsibility on my shoulders, but he never explained. So—”
“You didn’t believe him,” Beck filled in.
“No,” she admitted. “But what I saw today… It stunned me. Before now, I would have said it was impossible for them to share a woman again. But their actions together are so seamless. One picks up where the other leaves off. They’re so in tune, it’s like they can read each other’s minds. They operate as if they’re two halves of a whole. Like…they were born to be together in this way. The guilt that I’ve somehow kept them at one another’s throats for so long—”
“Stop there,” Seth demanded. “That’s both their doing and their problem. Focus on you for a minute. How does being with both of them make you feel?”
“Centered for the first time in my life. Secure. Protected. Happy.” She shook her head, still looking for the right words to express herself. “Don’t get me wrong. Every look, touch, and whisper has me completely off-balance. But being with them is so perfect. I don’t ever want to give it up. Juliet must have felt like the luckiest woman in the world.”
“I don’t think so. She had issues.” Seth paused. Something bitter passed over his face. “Hell, she was an issue.”
“You didn’t like her?” That surprised Raine. Hammer had loved Juliet enough to grieve for years—in his way. Liam…she wasn’t sure exactly how he’d felt about the woman.
“Not much.” Seth didn’t hesitate. “She didn’t have a spine. Not like you.”
“Sometimes I have too much spine,” Raine grumbled and shot a guilty look Beck’s way.
The doctor just laughed. “That’s actually a good thing, princess. Trust me.”
“You’ll need it with these two,” Seth drawled. “What’s your end game here?”
“What do I want out of this?” At their nods, she sighed. “I started down this path just to grow, to learn how to be open with someone and not try to protect myself all the time.”
“You’re being pretty damn honest now,” he pointed out.
“Because I can’t go back to being miserable. And no offense, but I can talk to you because my heart isn’t on the line.”
“None taken.” Beck shrugged.
“Besides, I’m guessing they left you here as my sounding boards.”
“Smart girl,” Seth said.
“Yep.” Beck nodded. “If you need help, we’re here. And we’ll be happy to whack Hammer and Liam upside the head if they need it. But we’ll also talk you through anything you’re unsure of or hesitant to address with them.
“I’m really grateful for the help, guys. Thanks.”
“So your goal is simply to not be miserable?” Beck prodded. “You don’t want anything else out of your time with Liam and Hammer?”
“Yesterday, no. Today…I’m afraid what I want is a little more pie in the sky. I know you said it was possible, Beck, but I’m still thinking I should go buy a bridge from someone on a street corner.”
“It’s not farfetched. Say it, princess.”
“I want them. Always,” she admitted softly. “I still think it sounds crazy. But today, they seemed happy. I’m happy. Part of me insists that it can work. But they tried with Juliet and it didn’t.”
“Apples and oranges. You’re different than Juliet. They’re not the same men, either. Liam and Hammer are stronger and more in sync now.”
Raine digested that information. “They weren’t like this with Juliet?”
“No. Not this…intimate. Hammer is more gentle. Liam is more possessive.” Seth searched for words. “I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s definitely not the same.”
She believed Seth, but struggled to pin her finger on why Liam’s friend would be right. They must have cared deeply for Juliet. She frowned.
“Tell me what’s running through your head, princess,” Beck cut in.
“So…how did everything end badly?”
“She didn’t communicate.” A mixture of sadness and contempt crossed his face.
Beck snorted. “That’s an understatement.”
“Um, you know I suck at it.” She tossed her hands in the air.
“You’re doing a great job now. And you can do it with them,” Seth assured. “You’ve got what they need. Juliet was simply the wrong woman for them to share.”
“What makes you think I’m the right one?” Raine held her breath. “I’m not any better than her at communicating, I’ll bet.”
“Well, since she committed suicide without giving either of them a damn clue that she was even unhappy, much less contemplating ending her life, I’m going to disagree.”
Raine backed away in horror, clapping her hand over her gaping mouth. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.” Seth winced. “Shit. I thought you knew. Sorry.”
Which of them had found Juliet’s body? Where had she done it? Where had Hammer and Liam been when she’d taken her last breath? What had they done afterward? The shock and the pain they must have felt—and lived with all these years... Raine’s heart splintered for them. Both would have shouldered so much guilt. But it explained why Hammer had kept his distance for so long. And why Liam had been so determined to fix her.
She blinked at Seth, shocked. “I knew she was dead. I wondered if it was something tragic, like a car accident or an illness. The possiblility that her death had been self-inflicted crossed my mind, but… Oh my god.”
“Anyway, it’s safe to say she didn’t communicate at all.” Seth clenched his jaw, then let his gaze wander out the kitchen window as if he was wrangling his own regrets.
Obviously.
“Can you picture yourself doing that to them?” Beck asked.
“Never. Ever!” she vowed. “I want to be with them without tearing their friendship apart. More than anything, I want to be the right woman for them.”