“I should face him,” she admitted.
“Liam? Hammer?” He shoved another bite of potatoes into his mouth.
“My dad.”
“At some point,” he agreed.
Why wait? Prolonging this limbo wouldn’t give her any way to move forward. “Today.”
“That’s…decisive.” Beck drew in a breath, considering. “Let’s talk about that for a minute. Do you know what you’re going to say?”
Raine had rehearsed so many speeches in her head, mostly after she’d first gone to live at Shadows. But so many of the words crowded her head now, she wasn’t sure where to start. “I’ll think of something.”
Beck set his fork down. “He’s dangerous. I can’t let you see him without going, too. I’ll give you space to talk to him, but I won’t be far off.”
Raine considered that for a long moment. She’d pondered storming her father’s castle before, but always pictured going with a gun…then rethought it because, frankly, he scared her. At least a foot taller than her and a whole lot meaner, he’d probably take the gun away and shoot her. Or she’d see him, lose her damn temper, and shoot him on the spot. Prison didn’t sound like fun. A few times she’d considered that doing hard time might be worth killing the bastard, but something had always held her back.
“I can’t put you at risk.” She shook her head.
“Well, either you and I can go together, or I’ll stick about ten feet off your sweet ass all day, and you can pretend not to notice me. Your pick.”
“Amazing choices, Beck.” Inside, she turned warm. Who would have guessed that the rubber paddle-wielding sadist would turn out to have a huge heart? His kindness and protection were a surprising but blessed relief. “I guess you can go with me, then. I’d feel better if we had more backup.”
“Oh, we will. My friends Smith and Wesson are coming along.” He grinned. “I’ll clean up the dishes. You get ready. An hour?”
“Thirty minutes. I’m not getting dolled up for that old bastard.”
“Good girl.”
The plan made sense and sounded so liberating when she’d been tucked away in the safety of Beck’s condo. Zipping down the road toward her childhood home half an hour later…not nearly as much. Raine’s stomach twisted. She wrung her hands. Her palms started to sweat. Her heart thundered.
Beck put a hand on hers. “It’s going to be fine. Say what you need to say. You’ll be safe. The most important thing is that you purge as much of your anger as you can.”
“I really can’t thank you enough.” She looked at him gratefully.
“Then stop trying and go get him, princess.” He pulled his Mercedes up to the curb at the end of the block and rolled up to the house slowly. “This it?”
Her heart lurched as she nodded. “Yeah.”
She’d been more terrified in her life, but not in a long, long time. Hammer had taken her in and given her the safe environment her father hadn’t. She’d repaid him by running away without a word. Just like she’d given Liam a brick wall rather than her heart.
With another glance, Raine drew in a deep breath. She was doing the right thing.
Beck stopped the car and killed the engine, then climbed out. She opened her door and looked around. Nothing much had changed in the neighborhood. Mr. Markland’s religiously trimmed shrubs stood in a meticulous, straight line. Mrs. Fullsome’s garden looked full of color, despite the fact that December had begun.
As she stepped onto the sidewalk, she turned her attention to her father’s house. The red front door had faded, but it still looked imposing. Behind that solid surface lay a house of horrors. Each year—hell, each day—had turned exponentially more terrible. Raine stared at the house like it was a demon that would steal her soul.
She clutched her stomach. God, she needed to be unshackled from her past, but she did not want to be here. She’d vowed never to lay eyes on Bill Kendall again. For six years, she’d kept that promise.
Now, Raine forced herself forward, determined to take back the parts of herself he’d maliciously stolen.
Beck walked with her to the edge of the property, then he grabbed her hand, squeezed…and let go. She sent him one last stare. He nodded at her. Silent encouragement.
Later, she’d tell him again how grateful she was that he’d come along.
Time now to face down the devil.
Sucking in a bracing breath, Raine knocked.
It seemed like forever before the door jerked open. Her knees nearly went out from under her when her father stood in the portal, glaring when he laid eyes on her.
His stark gray hair stunned her. He’d been salt and peppery the night she’d run away. The grooves around his mouth and chin had deepened, as if he’d been wearing an angry scowl every moment since she’d gone. The faint white scar of her handiwork slashed down his cheek. The sight brought back both brutal memories and deep satisfaction that she’d fought Bill off and marked him for the rest of his miserable life. His blue eyes hadn’t changed. They were the same eyes she saw every day when she looked in the mirror.
At the venom there now, a shiver wracked her spine.
The monster still resided inside the old man’s frame. He’d once terrified her. Now, Raine refused to show fear. Bill Kendall was the reason she couldn’t trust. Couldn’t communicate. Wouldn’t truly give herself to Liam—or anyone. Since leaving this hellhole, she’d never wanted to heal. Lancing her wounds and leaving them to bleed made it less likely that she’d ever allow anyone to hurt her again. She had let this vile asshole strip her ability to love.
Never again.
“What are you doing here, whore? And who’s he?” He nodded Beck’s way. “I suppose you’re fucking him, too?”
She ignored his question and thrust her chin out. “I’ve got a few things to say to you.”
“Why should I listen? I didn’t want you here then and I don’t want you here now.”
“Believe me, I’m not staying. I just came to say that I hate you and you’d better not ever speak to me again. Oh, and I wanted to give you this.”
Raine doubled up her fist and sent it flying into his jaw with a brutal crunch. Pain exploded through her fingers, zipping up her arm, but she didn’t care. When Bill’s head snapped around and he clutched the side of his face, it was worth the pain.
“You little bitch!” He stormed onto the porch and seized her arm in a cruel grip. “You’re going to pay for that.”
With a vicious yank, he dragged her toward the house. Raine dug in her heels. Bill turned and snarled, raising his fist to her. She fought the urge to cower.
Behind her, Beck dashed onto the porch. “Need help?”
“Fuck off,” Bill sneered.
“I got this,” she told Beck. She needed to face her father alone.
Thankfully, Beck let her.
Forcing the tension from her muscles, Raine waited for the old bastard to assume she’d given up and curled into a sniveling ball. He fell for her ruse, swinging his beefy fist toward her with unabashed triumph. Suddenly, she countered, raising her forearm and blocking his attack. She followed that with a jab to the stomach. He roared, the sound booming with shock and hate.
Raine kneed him in the balls.
Lurching and grunting, he doubled over, clutching his crotch. She seized the opportunity and grabbed his hair, then slammed his head against the doorframe.
He screamed.
Beck laughed. “Yeah, you definitely got this, princess.”
“I’ll thrash you for that.” Bill lifted his head to look at her with a stare so furiously blue, his eyes almost glowed. Blood trickled from a gash between his brows, ran down his face, and gathered between his teeth.
He looked every inch like a demon.
“Don’t you ever touch me again. I was a girl, and you beat me within an inch of my life.”
“Isn’t that what Master Pervert and the mick do to you before you spread your legs for them at that kink club?”
She gasped. Of all the things Raine expected to spew from his lips, the fact that he knew where she’d been and who she’d been with felt like a kick to the stomach. Had her father tracked her down…or had Hammer and Liam come here looking for her?
Either possibility made her sick. She swallowed the nausea down. Later.
“Shut up! I won’t let you desecrate them. They’re real men, which is more than you could ever say.” Raine doubled up her fist again and delivered a quick uppercut to his chin.
“Filthy slut! I’m going to call the cops on you.”
“Go ahead, and I’ll tell them everything you ever did to me, including trying to rape me as a minor. Want that to get out? Should I shout it louder for the neighbors?”
The anger built and swelled inside her like a volcano. The lava in her veins bubbled over, and Raine hit him again, his nose the perfect bull’s-eye. After a sickening crunch, blood spurted.
“Hammer made me attend self-defense classes. If you try to hurt me again, so help me, I’ll kill you, you worthless piece of shit, for all the years of misery you caused me. You drove my mother away, then my brother, my sister…and finally me. You deserve every moment of your wretched solitude. Rot in it!”
Raine clenched her fist again, but a firm hand at her elbow stopped her. She turned to find Beck shaking his head—and his gun pointed in Bill’s face.
“You’ve done your damage. He’s not worth a trip to jail. Let’s go.”
She’d love to stay and inflict more pain. It was exhilarating. Empowering. Emancipating. But Beck was right. She refused to imprison herself in any way because of Bill again.
The adrenaline began to bleed from her veins, leaving her slightly shaky. But she felt more together than she had in years. No, ever.
She nodded. “I’m ready.”
“This isn’t over!” Bill screamed. “Walk away, you fucking cunt, but you haven’t seen the last of me.”
She didn’t bother turning around, just raised her hand and flipped him her middle finger. The bastard didn’t deserve anything more.
They arrived back at the condo. Beck let her in quietly. In fact, he hadn’t spoken a word to her since they’d left her father, like he’d known that she needed to be alone with her thoughts, replay the afternoon a few times in her head to feel the upsurge of triumph…then the downhill slide into wondering what came next.
Instead of heading straight back to his place, Beck had driven her to the beach and let her walk, silently trailing a few feet behind and keeping an eye on her. The crashing waves had quieted her head some. Not nearly as well as Liam’s spanking days before Thanksgiving, but this worked for now.
Eventually, she’d sat in the sand, closed her eyes, and cried until Beck picked her up and put her in the car again.
Now she glanced at the clock on the oven. Ten minutes to six. “You hungry? I saw you had some steaks in the fridge. I can cook those up.”
“Would cooking clear your head or would you rather have pizza?”
“I’m actually not hungry.”
“Skipping dinner isn’t an option. Choose again.”
Raine sighed. “I’ll cook.”
“You want another bottle?”
She grimaced. “No. Hair of the dog doesn’t appeal at all to me.”
“Good. That’s the first time I’ve seen you be a sad drunk. It sucked.”
“Gee, I’ll be more considerate of your delicate mood next time.” Raine rolled her eyes.
Beck swatted her on the ass. “Sassy little thing. I’ll start the barbeque.”
“They’re better in the oven. I got it.”
Forty-five minutes later, they sat down to dinner. Afterward, Beck answered a couple of texts, then swore. “I have to head to the hospital for a bit. You’ll be okay here? You won’t do anything stupid?”
“Like jump off the balcony?” Raine looked at him like he was crazy.
“Like run off,” he said pointedly.
She lost her feisty mien. “No. It doesn’t work anymore.”
He grabbed his keys, then kissed her forehead. “That’s progress. You’ve done good.”
“Should I have breakfast ready in the morning?”
“I’ll have to see how this goes. I’m probably headed to surgery. If that’s the case, I’ll be back tonight, really late.”
Then he was gone. He was asleep on the sofa when she woke the next morning.
Raine whipped up some pancakes and set them in the oven with crisp bacon and a note. Then she slipped out to explore the building. Sure enough, the swanky place had snazzy fitness equipment. A circuit of weights and cardio helped clear her mind a bit more, and she returned to find dirty plates in the sink and the word Thanks! at the bottom of her note. Beck himself was gone.
She wandered around the little apartment, but she’d already seen it all and exhausted the available movie selection. Cable shows about silly chef challenges and house hunting didn’t hold her interest.