Evan laughed. He hadn’t felt this good in months. “Calm down, guys. I’m good. I really am. I know how much I can handle. Seriously.” With alcohol in his body he could talk himself into believing anything. He used to be able to talk other people into believing anything. But it didn’t seem to be working anymore—at least, not with the people who knew him the best.

There was still a little martini left in his glass. Cadin reached for it and said, “You’ve had enough. I’m not going to sit here and watch all the hard work you’ve done vanish in one night.”

Evan stood up before he could take the glass. He went to the back of the sofa and Cadin followed him. “I’m fine, I really am. It’s only one little drink.”

Cadin started to shout at him. He grabbed his arm and tried to take the glass out of his hand with force. “Goddamn it, Evan. Give me the fucking glass.”

Evan pushed him away. He started to shout, too. “Give me a fucking break,” he said. “There’s no way I’m going to get through this night with fucking club soda. You two are melting down before my eyes, I’m now on the wrong side of thirty, my husband wants an open marriage, and the guy I’ve been seeing who I thought was so different just informed me he’s into three-ways. I need something to get through all that shit, and I’m going to have it.” Then he lifted the glass and finished what was left in it.

Cadin turned to Michele and said, “Do something. Say something.”

Michele stood and turned. “Don’t do this, Evan. You know you can’t drink anymore. When I picked you up, you told me in the car that you’d never go back to Havilland again.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Evan said. “I’m tired of people telling me what to do. I’d like to be treated with a little respect just once in my life.”

Michele glared at him. “Then you need to earn it, because you’re not getting any respect from me if you start drinking again. I’m not joking this time, Evan. I can deal with a lot. I’m devastated right now about getting dumped by a guy I thought I was in love with. I know I’ll get over that eventually. But I’m not going to go through another round with you drinking.”

“Fuck you,” Evan said.

Then the doorbell rang and all three of them stopped talking. After a moment of silence, Evan said, “Is anyone going to answer that?” His tone had lifted; he sounded as good as he felt. He only wished they’d leave him alone and let him have just one or two drinks this one time.

Michele turned and walked toward a small hallway at the front of her apartment. From where they stood in the living room, they couldn’t see who was at the door. Evan hugged Cadin and said, “Stop being so serious. It’s going to be okay. I’m fine. I know what I’m doing.”

Cadin didn’t seem convinced. He didn’t return the hug.

A second later, Michele returned and said, “It’s Kenny and two friends.”

“Oh fuck,” Evan said. “I forgot to call Kenny and tell him the party is off.” He thought for a moment. He’d only had a few drinks; it wasn’t as though he was falling all over the place. While Michele stood there waiting for him to speak, he walked to the other side of the room, and said, “Just let them in. We’ll have our own little party.”

As Michele turned to get Kenny and his friends, Evan smoothed the front of his jacket and smiled at Cadin. “It’s fine, don’t worry. I’ll be the model dad. The GLAAD father of the year.”

Cadin didn’t reply. He stood there staring at him with an expression that suggested he wasn’t sure what to expect next.

Chapter Fourteen

The moment Evan saw Kenny and two other people enter the living room, his arms went up, he crossed the room to greet them, and he started speaking in that eager-to-please-everyone animated voice he only used when he’d been drinking. Although he’d never been able to judge himself in this respect, people had always told him he was a happy, playful drunk. At least in the beginning. The more he drank the nastier he tended to become.

“There you are.” He threw his arms around Kenny and hugged him.

Kenny seemed surprised, partly because Evan was so animated and partly because the room was virtually void of other party guests. “Where is everyone? Am I early?”

Evan winked at Michele, letting her know he would protect her secret about getting dumped. “There was a change of plans, sweetie. I’ll tell you later.” He hugged him again and said, “But I’m so glad you’re here now.”

“It’s good to see you, too, Dad,” Kenny said, glancing over Evan’s shoulder at Cadin.

Evan turned to the people Kenny had brought to the party. For a moment, he couldn’t place them. Then it dawned on him these were the two young people he’d met in the restaurant that afternoon when Evan had pretended to be Kenny’s older brother. He thought quickly and grabbed Kenny’s arm. “Do they know I’m your father, not your brother?” He didn’t feel like playing games that night.

Kenny laughed and said, “Yes. I told them the truth. They know you’re my dad.”

Evan’s arms went up again. “It’s Candy and Grayson.” He shook Candy’s hand and said, “I’ll bet you thought I’d forget your names. But I never forget a name or a face.” Then he turned to Grayson and hugged him. He squeezed young Grayson’s biceps, took a quick breath, and said, “And I’d never forget a big, strong, handsome guy like you.”

By that time, Kenny had walked to the other side of the living room to where Michele was standing near the grand piano. Evan noticed they both had serious expressions and said, “What’s wrong? This is supposed to be a partly. You two look like it’s a funeral.”

They didn’t say anything.

On the other side of the room, Evan noticed Cadin standing beside the fireplace with the same ominous expression.

The only one in the room who seemed to be interested in having fun was Grayson. He put his arm around Evan and said, “I couldn’t believe it when Kenny said you were his dad. It freaking blew me away. You’re so young and hot.”

Evan thought of something else that would blow him away, and in a more literal sense. But he didn’t want to embarrass his son— he wasn’t that drunk yet. He patted Grayson’s stomach and said, “You be a good boy tonight, or else I’ll make you call me daddy.” Then he laughed and patted Grayson on the ass.




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