Luis stepped back and frowned. “Then I’ll bring him here to New York and I’ll get him his meds no matter what it takes. I’ll steal them if I have to. You can’t force me to come back like this. You can’t use my uncle to get me to come back.”

Jase turned away. When they stared talking about Luis’s uncle and his medications, and Jase saw the desperate look in Dr. Barton’s eyes, he wanted to put his arm on Dr. Barton’s back and console him. He knew Luis wasn’t going back no matter what Dr. Barton said. And though part of Jase didn’t want Luis to go back to Tennessee, there was still another part of him that didn’t quite understand why Luis wasn’t going back. If Luis went with Dr. Barton, Luis wouldn’t have to worry about a thing. Dr. Barton was a wealthy man, and he’d give Luis anything he wanted. Luis would never have to worry about anything again. In life, chances like this didn’t happen very often and Jase couldn’t help wondering why Luis was turning his back on this one.

After all, Luis’s life in New York wasn’t exactly wonderful. He spent his days and nights escorting older men and selling his used sweat socks to shifty New York real estate agents so he could pay the rent for his dowdy walkup apartment on the Upper West Side.

“You can’t take care of him,” Dr. Barton said. “You can barely take care of yourself, Freddie. Can’t you see this?”

Luis leaned into Dr. Barton and hugged him hard. “Don’t call me Freddie anymore. I’m not Freddie. Freddie’s dead.” His voice was stronger and there were tears streaming down his face. “This isn’t easy for me. I know you and I do love you. I know you’re a good man. Much too good for me. Please don’t make this any harder than it is.”

Dr. Barton’s face softened and his eyes filled with tears. He lifted his arms, put them around Luis, and hesitated for a moment. When he finally found his words, his voice was soft and slow. “I won’t push you anymore,” he said.

Then he kissed the top of Luis’s head and stepped back. He wiped his eyes and squared his shoulders. On his way out, he stopped and shook Jase’s hand. “Watch out for him,” he said.

Jase smiled and shook his hand. “I will.”

“He needs to eat something,” Dr. Barton said. “He looks like he’s starving to death.”

Before Dr. Barton walked out to his plane, Luis ran up behind him and tapped his shoulder. “You take care of yourself, Ken. Please don’t be mad at me. I’m not the same kid you met in that nightclub. I’m not Freddie. It wouldn’t be the same.”

Jase wasn’t far away. He waited to see how Dr. Barton would react. At first, his face remained pinched and tight. But a moment later, he reached down for Luis’s hand and he smiled.

He looked into Luis’s eyes, squeezed his hand, and kissed him on the cheek. “Take care,” he said, as if he knew he wouldn’t see Freddie Bowles for a long time.

After that, Luis and Jase stood there and waited for Dr. Barton’s plane to take off. Luis stared at the plane taxiing down the runway. Jase put his hand on Luis’s shoulder and didn’t say a word. When the plane was in the air, Luis lifted his chin and wiped a tear from his eye.

Jase put his arm around him. “Are you okay?”

“I feel as if I just said goodbye to the only real life I ever knew,” he said. “And I’ve never felt so alone.” He sniffed back and wiped his eyes again.

Jase hesitated for a second, then asked, “Why didn’t you go back with him? He loves you.”

“That’s the problem,” Luis said. “I’d rather he didn’t love me so much. Then it would be easier to go back to him. He’s too good for me.”

“I’m not sure I agree with you,” Jase said.

“Will you take me out tonight?”

Jase shrugged. “Sure. Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere they serve alcohol. I never drink much. But tonight I’m going to get so drunk you might have to carry me home.”

“I think I can manage that,” Jase said. After all, he’d promised Dr. Barton he’d watch out for Luis. And though all this had been difficult for Luis, now that Jase knew Luis wasn’t going back with Dr. Barton, his stomach wasn’t tied up in knots and the heavy feeling he’d been experiencing all afternoon had lifted and disappeared. In its place emerged a lighter, hopeful feeling.

Chapter Nine

On the way back, they took the Holland Tunnel into the city so Jase could take Luis to a downtown bar he’d noticed the day he’d gone to lunch with Derrick and his friend from Brooklyn. Jase couldn’t remember the name of the bar, but he remembered where it was, and he remembered an outdoor parking lot across the street. Finding a place to park a huge pickup truck in Manhattan wasn’t always easy. And he didn’t feel like driving all the way back to the Upper West Side to drop the car off and take a cab back downtown.

Luis was still frowning over what had happened with Dr. Barton. If anyone ever needed a good strong drink, it was Luis. He just sat there staring down at his lap, pouting all the way back to Manhattan, without saying a word.

When Jase pulled into the parking lot, Luis sat up and looked around. “I’ve never been to any of the bars down here in the Bowery. I didn’t even know there were any.” He pressed his finger to his chin and looked around as if Jase had lost his mind.

Jase drove up to the parking lot attendant and opened his door. He shrugged his shoulders and said, “I saw this little out-of-the-way bar when we went to lunch with Derrick. It looked like an interesting place, so I figured we’d try it out.”

Luis removed his seatbelt and opened his door. “I’m game for anything that will take my mind off what happened today.”

After the parking lot attendant handed Jase a stub, they crossed the street and walked to the entrance of a small, hidden bar. It was wedged between a bodega and a dry cleaner, with a black sign over the door that read, “Jockey Stops Here,” in bold white print. To the left of the entrance there was a poster with a group of young guys dancing around in their underwear. To the right, there was a poster with sketches of underwear. The sketches included everything from jock straps to baggy boxer shorts with little red hearts.

Jase opened the door for Luis and stepped to the side so Luis could enter first. Before Luis went into the dark reception area, he gave Jase a look that was a cross between apprehension and curiosity.




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