Chapter 27
I figured what Beau didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. I’d sat in my room debating over going to check on Sawyer for hours. Finally my conscience got the best of me and I’d driven over there. Facing his mother wasn’t high up on my list of things I wanted to do. This year or possibly ever. I passed by his driveway and turned down the dirt road leading down to the hole.
Once I got back there I parked the car and sent Sawyer a text letting him know I’d come to check on him. If he wanted to see me he would. While I waited I figured I would go enjoy our favorite childhood spot one last time.
Climbing up a tree wasn’t as easy as it used to be. But our favorite limb wasn’t as high as it used to be either and it just took one small boost from the tree trunk to get myself securely on the branch I’d shared with the Vincent boys during our childhood.
“Impressive. You made it look easy.” Sawyer’s voice surprised me. I glanced over to see him leaning against a nearby tree. His dark curls danced in the breeze, reminding me of the times I used to watch it do that exact same thing with fascination. I loved burying my fingers in his thick hair and wrapping his curls around them. He really was beautiful.
“I was already here when you sent the text,” he replied with an amused grin. My expression must have shown my confusion.
“Oh,” I replied.
“To what do I owe this visit?” he asked, standing up and walking over to stand beside my legs. He barely had to look up to meet my gaze.
“I wanted to check on you. Beau said you had a concussion.”
Sawyer chuckled and skipped a rock he’d been holding in his hand across the water. “He tell you how I got the concussion?”
“Yes,” I answered him, feeling guilty.
“I deserved it. I was shitty to you all week.”
Had Sawyer just cursed?
“Um . . .” I didn’t know what to say. He was right, he had been, but he didn’t deserve to be beat up by his brother over it.
“I shouldn’t have let them do those things to you. Honestly, Beau beating the crap out of me was a relief. I’d been beating myself up. Having someone physically beat me was a nice release.”
“What?” I asked.
Sawyer turned his blue eyes back up toward me.
“Ash, you were my girl for years. But before that we were friends. The best of friends. I should have never let one snag in the road cause me to turn on you like I did. It was wrong. You took all the blame for something that wasn’t entirely your fault. It was Beau’s and it was mine.”
“Yours? How—”
“I knew Beau loved you. I’d seen the way he looked at you. I also knew you loved him, more than you did me. You two had a secret bond I didn’t get to share. I was jealous. Beau was my cousin and you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. I wanted you for myself. So, I asked you out. Without going to Beau first, never once asking him how he felt about it. You accepted and just like magic I broke up the bond you two shared. You guys never talked anymore. There were no more late night roof talks and no more bailing y’all out of trouble. Beau was my friend and you were my girlfriend. It was as if your friendship had never been. I was selfish and ignored the guilt until it went away. Only the times I saw him watching you, with that pained, needy expression, did the guilt stir in my gut. It was mixed with fear. Fear you’d see what I’d done, and go to him. Fear I’d lose you.”
I reached down and ran my hand over his hair. “I loved you too. I wanted to be good enough for you. I wanted to be the good girl you deserved.”
“Ash, you were perfect just the way you were. I was the one who let you change. I liked the change. It’s one of the many reasons I feared I’d lose you. Deep down I knew one day that free spirit you’d quenched would fight to be released. It happened. And the fact it happened with Beau doesn’t surprise me in the least.”
“I’m sorry, Sawyer. I never meant to hurt you. I made a mess of things. You aren’t going to have to watch Beau and me together. I’m stepping out of both your lives. You can get back what was lost.”
Sawyer reached up and grabbed my hand. “Don’t do that, Ash. He needs you.”
“No, it’s what he wants too. Today he hardly acknowledged me. He only spoke to me when he was making a point to everyone else that I was to be left alone.”
Sawyer let out a sad laugh. “He won’t last long. He’s never been able to ignore you. Not even when he knew I was watching him. Right now he’s dealing with a lot. And he’s dealing with it alone. Don’t push him away.”
I jumped down from the branch and hugged Sawyer. “Thank you. Your acceptance means the world to me. But right now he needs you. You’re his brother. I’ll just be a hindrance to you two dealing with everything.”
Sawyer reached out and twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. “Even if I was wrong to take you without a thought to Beau’s feelings, I can’t make myself regret it. I’ve had three amazing years with you, Ash.”
I didn’t know what to say. I’d had good times too but I did regret choosing the wrong Vincent boy. He gave me one last sad smile then dropped my hair and walked away.
Beau
Sawyer wasn’t walking back to the four wheeler he’d driven out here. He was headed straight for me. I should’ve known he’d felt me watching them. I didn’t step out of the shadows. Instead I waited on him to join me in the darkness. Away from Ashton’s view. My body was strung tight as a cord. When she’d hugged him I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep from jerking him off her and hurling him into the damn lake if he so much as got close to her mouth.
“Did you see and hear enough?” Sawyer asked, coming up beside me to turn around and look back at Ashton. She was no longer watching Sawyer’s retreat. Instead she turned back to the water. The breeze played with her long blonde hair, making my hands itch to go run my fingers through it.
“Yes,” I replied, hating he was as mesmerized by her as I was.
“She’s all yours now, bro. We’ve found our closure.”
I hadn’t needed his blessing but I knew Ashton had.
“From the moment I held her she became mine. I’m sorry I did this to you but you never really loved the real Ashton. I do.”