“I’m glad,” he said. “What do you think of Paul and Christine?”
“They’re not at all what I thought.”
“Dare I ask what you thought?”
“Someone big and burly for Paul. Lots of body hair. Lots of black leather.” I yawned. “Maybe a mask.”
“You have the strangest imagination.”
“Someone reserved and quiet for Christine,” I said. “Mousy.”
“Christine is anything but mousy.” He traced the edge of my collar. “This does not leave you without free will. It does not make you a doormat. You know that here.” He tapped my head. “You need to get it here.” He laid his hand over my heart. “You are brave and strong and fierce.”
“It’s you,” I whispered, glad for the cover of darkness. “You let me be brave and strong and fierce.”
“You’ve only scratched the surface, my lovely.” His lips brushed my cheek. “I can’t wait for you to actually see it.”
“I’m nervous.”
“I know you are,” he said. “And tomorrow, even with your nerves, you will continue to be brave and strong and fierce. Because that’s what you are. It’s what I need from you, and it’s what you will give me.”
All of me. I would give him all of me. Anything he asked for was his.
“Will it help you sleep if I hold you?” he asked.
“It always helps when you hold me, sir.”
He turned me so my back was to his chest once more, and I pressed close to his warmth. His arms came around me, and I fell asleep within minutes.
After Paul cooked a huge breakfast of sausage and pancakes, Christine and I made our way to the den. She held Sam, preparing to feed him.
“You don’t mind, do you?” she asked.
I thought it was nice of her to ask, even considering what she was going to be doing in front of me in a few hours. “No,” I said. “I don’t mind.”
I hadn’t been around many babies before, much less watched a woman breastfeed. She deftly situated Sam and flipped a thin blanket over her shoulder, hiding most of the feeding infant.
She sighed and leaned back in her chair. “He’s a big eater,” she said after a few minutes. “Gets it from his father.”
I nodded, but seeing no point in waiting, launched into one of the questions I wanted to ask. “How do you and Paul still play with a baby?”
“Not as often as we used to. That’s for sure.”
“You don’t do the weekend thing anymore?”
“No,” she said. “It hasn’t really worked with a baby. For now we use the playroom when we have time—which hasn’t been a lot lately.”
“With good reason, though,” I said, nodding toward Sam.
“Oh, yes. I wouldn’t change anything.” She thought for a moment. “Well, not much. I might change the amount of sleep I get. And the constant leaking.” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “Do you know how strange it is to wear a bra in the playroom?”
“We only started playing again last weekend,” I said. “But yes, I can see that.”
“Listen,” she said. “I’m a very open and honest person. Do me a favor and tell me to knock it off if I give out too much information.”
“You’re fine.”
“The first time we played after Sam was born, about four weeks ago, I didn’t wear a bra and, well . . . leakage. I’ve very rarely seen Paul look taken aback.” She giggled. “But the expression on his face was priceless.”
I tried to picture the unflappable Paul looking taken aback and failed.
“What did he do?” I asked.
“He cleaned it up,” she said. I pictured washcloths and paper towels. “Afterward, he said it tasted almost sweet.”
I felt myself blush.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “That was too much.”
“No,” I said, wanting to hear more about her and Paul. “Just unexpected, although maybe we should start with something easier. I want to hear about how the two of you work. Tell me how you met.”
“Paul’s very well-known,” she said, and I got the impression she told this story often. “His reputation preceded him. Probably much the same as Nathaniel.”
I nodded.
“I met him for the first time, here actually, at a meeting,” she said. “I’d been a submissive for a good number of years, but I was between relationships at the time. He asked for my help with a demonstration a few weeks later. I know Nathaniel is your first dom, but trust me, when you play with someone experienced”—she shook her head—“it’s amazing.”
I doubted anyone else could make me feel the way Nathaniel did, but I refrained from saying so.
“We played casually for a few months,” she said. “And eventually moved to a weekend arrangement. We started dating, and well, the rest is history.”
“Nathaniel said you had a twenty-four-seven Dom/sub relationship once.”
She nodded. “After we started dating. There were some parts I really enjoyed, but I don’t think Paul liked it very much.”
“I don’t think Nathaniel would either.”
“Would you?”
I thought about that. How would it be to go an entire week as his submissive? To expand our weekend play? Seven days . . . My mind wandered, thinking. So much time. So much we could do.
“Maybe,” I said. “Just for a week or so. To try.”
“Like I said, there were parts I liked. It was a different kind of experience.” She took a minute, switched Sam to the opposite breast and then covered herself again. “I don’t want to see the look on Nathaniel’s face if you decide to tell him you want to try a twenty-four-seven relationship.” She laughed. “Probably not what he had in mind when he said he’d like for us to talk.”
I laughed along with her. “Probably not.”
“The thing you need to remember about Nathaniel,” she said, once more all serious, “is that he’s in love for the first time ever. He’s going slower with you than he has with previous submissives. I know part of that is because of your inexperience, but part of it is he’s afraid of coming on too strongly.”
I definitely believed that. “I know, and I can tell there’ll be times I’ll want him to push harder and further.”
“You need to tell him. It’s your job to tell him when you want things to happen differently.”
“I just can’t get to that point in my head. Not during a weekend.”
“He needs that feedback,” she said. “Although, if it’s more comfortable for you, tell him on a weekday. There’s no rule you can’t talk about your weekend time on a Wednesday night.”
“That’s what I need to remember. It’s feedback. Not telling him what to do.”
“Right. The ultimate decision is still his, but he can make more informed decisions if you’re giving him all the information he needs.”
There were other questions I wanted to ask, but just one I really needed to talk to someone about. Someone who wasn’t Nathaniel.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked.
“I’m an open book,” she said with a smile. “Very little is off-limits for me.”
“Canes,” I said, almost shivering at the word. “Tell me about them.”
“That’s rather random.”
I picked at a fingernail. “I marked them down as a hard limit, because I was scared. But Nathaniel really likes them.”
“And you want a submissive’s view on canes?”
“Yes.”
“I’d be surprised if Paul hadn’t used a cane or two on Nathaniel during his mentorship,” she said. “But I suppose his view is different from mine.”
“So you’ll tell me?” I asked, very interested to hear what she thought about the scary-sounding items.
She nodded. “Now, Paul’s punished me with a cane before, and that’s something completely and totally different. I don’t like that use of the cane at all.”
“You can use canes for reasons other than punishment?”
“I know several people who enjoy it when a cane’s used on them. I’m one of them.”
“Really?”
“It’s all in the technique, and Paul has the most amazing technique. And Nathaniel learned from Paul.”
I didn’t say anything.
“I won’t lie to you. It hurts,” she said. “But so do spankings, right?”
“Right. But I like the spankings.”
“In that case, when and if you ever feel comfortable with canes, you’ll probably like Nathaniel using them,” she said. “If he builds up to it properly, that is.”
“Builds up? Like a warm-up spanking?”
“Yes, like that.”
“Mmmm,” I said, by way of reply. I’d put that aside to think about later. Canes for pleasure? Who would have thought?
The doorbell sounded right as Christine took Sam out from under the blanket and straightened her shirt.
“That must be Mom,” she said. “What perfect timing.”
After Christine’s mom left with Sam, Nathaniel and I went back to the guest room. He told me he had an outfit laid out for me, but stopped me before I could put it on.
“Before you change,” he said. “Until further notice, library time is over. Understood?”
A twinge of desire, lust, and yearning shot straight through me.
“Yes, Master.”
“Paul has certain rules for his playroom,” he said. “You are to wear your hair up. The only jewelry allowed inside is wedding rings. He made an exception for your collar. I don’t want your head down. I want you watching both Christine and Paul. And as an observer, you are to remain silent.” He smiled. “Unless you become overwhelmed, in a negative way, and need to use your safe word. Understood?”
“Yes, Master.”
He leaned forward and kissed me. “Meet me outside our room in fifteen minutes.”
When we entered the playroom downstairs, Christine was already in position. Nathaniel walked over to the straight-backed chair at the edge of the room, and I followed behind him. After he sat down, I sat on the pillow at his feet and tentatively placed a hand on his knee. Christine didn’t move. As I expected, she wore a bra, but was n**ed otherwise.
I watched her for a minute, letting myself grow accustomed to the sight.
She’s naked, I told myself. She’s n**ed and it’s okay.
I took a minute to glance around the room—it was twice as large as Nathaniel’s and held more equipment. Much of the room was the same—a refrigerator, a sink, and a large first-aid kit. One shelf held a baby monitor, though, and the realities of playing with a child hit me. I became even more thankful Christine’s mom had taken Sam for a few hours.
I wasn’t sure how many times Christine and Paul had played since Sam’s birth, but I assumed it hadn’t been many. Between the late-night feedings and colic, who would have time? It occurred to me then that maybe Christine and Paul were just as happy as we were to have someone else watch their son for a few hours.
My head swung to the door as Paul entered. Like Nathaniel, he wore black jeans and a T-shirt. The change in his demeanor struck me. He still looked like himself, of course, just more intense.
He walked to where Christine kneeled.
“It’s good to have you back in my playroom, girl,” he said.
She moved her hands to the floor and slid toward his feet. “I await your pleasure, Master.”
“Show me,” he said, and she slid closer and kissed each of his toes, then the tops of his feet. When she finished, she moved to her knees and slid her hands up his legs. “Not yet,” he said, and backed away.