“Georgia—”
“You started this Ben so let me finish it. I fucked Travis Bartlett when I was fifteen and I continued to fuck him along with a shit ton of other guys, including a couple Flyers which is why Matt didn’t want me around you. If you want names I can give you that too, you guys can compare notes at training camp.”
My jaw fell open. That’s not what I expected to hear.
“I did a lot of drugs, I fucked a lot of guys and even a few girls and I drank a lot of vodka.” She snorted and wiped at her face, scrubbing at a fresh batch of tears. “Something I shared with my dad. Is that what you wanted to know?”
“Jesus, Georgia.” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to feel. This was so far away from what I thought…of what she felt like to me that I was stunned.
“You look disgusted. Are you? Because you should be, Ben. I’m not the kind of girl you’re going to end up with. I’m not good or pure or even interesting. For a while there, I was a good time. I was a good time to a lot of different people but now I’m a damaged, broken, unfixable girl who thought that maybe…” her voice broke and I took a step toward her, but she shook her head violently and moved back.
My hands were clenched at my sides and I wanted to punch a fucking hole into the wall.
“I thought that maybe I could be someone else. I thought that maybe I could be with someone like you but that’s just a fantasy. A stupid, immature fantasy. We can’t change who we are Ben and what I am isn’t something you want. I can see it in your eyes. The real me is a monster. The real me is in those fucking paintings.”
She took a step back and reached for the door. “Thank you for tonight,” she whispered and then she disappeared back inside the club.
I stared at the closed door for so long my eyes blurred. And then the anger in my gut began to burn again. It festered and erupted and it propelled me through the club. I didn’t see Georgia or Kendall or anyone I knew.
I stalked down the stairs and headed for the doors when a voice stopped me cold.
“Dude, if you’re looking for Georgia she left. You pissed her the fuck off, which sucks for you but that it’s good for me. I like Georgia pissed off. Like I said earlier, she’s one crazy—”
“Shut the fuck up,” I growled, itching for him to come at me.
He did and I flattened him with one punch.
Fucking great way to end the evening.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Georgia
It was nearly three in the morning when I let myself into Matt’s loft. The place was dark and quiet. I leaned against the door and let it wash over me, the stillness, the absolute silence, and for a moment or two I tried to pretend that things were going to be okay.
But they weren’t. They were so far from okay that I was afraid I’d never find that place again. The place I’d found with Ben.
A sob escaped me and I dropped my head into my hands. I was so tired. So tired and scared and alone and…
“Where have you been?”
My head whipped up so fast I banged it on the door, and I’m sure it hurt like a bitch but I didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel anything except the hot shot of need at the sound of his voice. It heated my entire body in an instant and awakened the pain.
He was here.
“I know Matt’s traveling for the team so I figured you would come back here.”
I flipped the switch near the door flooding the loft with light and it was then that I spied him. Ben stood near the window, his face in shadow, but the clenched fists at his side told me he was still pissed.
I wanted to be pissed off too but I wasn’t. I was just sad and empty.
“What do you want, Ben?”
“You seriously have to ask that?”
I winced at the tone of his voice.
“I want the truth. I want to know what the fuck went down tonight. I want to know how you could throw all that shit at me and leave. Do you know how worried I was about you? I’ve been calling your goddamn cell and texting you for hours. It’s three o’clock in the fucking morning, Georgia. Where the hell have you been?”
My knees began to shake. Did I have it in me to finish this?