“Nothing. Go back to bed.”
Alix hesitated, and then decided what the hell. Laurel wasn’t willing to ask her for help. Fine, if that was how she wanted it.
“Whatever.” Alix was two steps into the bedroom when for some reason she stopped. Faintly she heard Laurel whimper what sounded like: oh God, oh God, oh God.
Walking into the room again, Alix decisively flipped on the light. She stood with her hands on her hips, feet apart. “You’re not all right. What’s wrong?”
Laurel flung her head back and forth and refused to answer. Eyes shut against the light, she bit down on her lower lip and blood oozed from the sides of her mouth. Alix stared at her aghast.
“Laurel,” she whispered.
Her roommate urgently stretched out her arm and when Alix took her hand, Laurel held it in a death grip. “Help me,” she cried. “I can’t do this…I thought…oh God, it hurts so much.”
Alix fell to her knees beside the sofa. All at once, everything added up, and what should’ve been obvious suddenly exploded into her awareness. “You’re in labor?”
Laurel nodded. “I couldn’t tell you…I couldn’t tell anyone.”
“Does John know?”
Tears filled Laurel’s eyes. “Why do you think he dumped me? He said he didn’t want the baby. Or me. He promised he’d pay for an abortion, but he didn’t show up with the money and I couldn’t afford it.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“How could I?”
“We’re friends.” Some friends. Laurel had let her get arrested and yet she didn’t trust Alix with the fact that she was pregnant.
Laurel closed her eyes and arched her back, moaning again.
Alix would figure it out later. Right now, she needed to get Laurel to a hospital. “I’ll go out and find a phone, call for help.”
“No!” Laurel screamed. Her hand crushed Alix’s fingers. “Don’t leave me. It won’t be long now…it can’t be. I can’t take the pain. I can’t deal with this by myself.”
“What should I do?” Alix had never been with anyone in labor before and had no idea how to help.
“I don’t know,” Laurel gasped, panting and writhing with pain. “I think the baby might be coming,” she cried, all-out panic in her voice. “What should I do? Oh God, what should I do?”
“Stay calm,” Alix said, forcing confidence into her own voice, although her heart was galloping at frightening speed. She peeled back the blanket and saw that Laurel had placed a stack of towels beneath her hips. “I’m going to go and wash my hands.”
“No…Don’t leave me.”
“I’ll just be a minute.”
“All right, all right.” Laurel was rolling her head from side to side once more, her face shiny with sweat.
Alix berated herself for not guessing the truth earlier. But Laurel was overweight, so her pregnancy hadn’t been immediately obvious. She still wore her jeans every day and they seemed to be splitting at the seams, but Alix had assumed the weight gain was from depression and her constant eating.
Alix was only away from Laurel for a moment, but her roommate grabbed her hand the instant she was back. Studying Laurel’s face, Alix saw that she was in terrible pain.
“Look and see,” Laurel implored. “Is it ready to come out yet?”
Alix felt completely inadequate to deliver this child. “Do you have anything for the baby?”
Laurel shook her head. “I don’t want it.”
“Laurel,” she pleaded. “What were you going to do with the baby?” Talk about living in a dream world! Laurel had to know the infant would need clothes and blankets and bottles.
Her friend sobbed. “At first I planned to kill it.”
Alix gasped. “You can’t do that!”
“I don’t want this baby.” Laurel screamed and arched her back again when the pain overtook her. Her fingers dug into the fabric of the sofa as she slammed her eyes shut and panted. She took in deep gulps of air, her shoulders heaving with the effort.
Sitting on the edge of the sofa, Alix saw that the crown of the baby’s head had appeared, thick with matted blond hair. With the next contraction, Alix carefully placed her hands beneath the tiny skull. Laurel drew in a deep breath and tried to look down at the baby but couldn’t.
“It won’t be much longer now,” Alix promised. She felt frightened and helpless and she hoped she was telling the truth.
No more than a minute later, Laurel grunted and started panting again. Suddenly, the infant slipped free. He seemed to glide directly into Alix’s hands. With him came a gush of water and blood.
Tears filled Alix’s eyes. “It’s a boy,” she told Laurel. He didn’t cry right away and Alix’s heart leapt in panic. Acting on instinct, she placed her finger inside his mouth, swabbing it clean. Then she turned him over on his belly and patted his back. Instantly he let out a fierce, belligerent cry. Joy surged through Alix and she stared up at her friend. “He’s beautiful,” she said, awed by the wonder of this moment. A new life had just entered the world.
Laurel refused to look at him and turned her face away. “Cut the cord,” she instructed without emotion.
“I…I don’t think I should…”
“Do it,” Laurel demanded. “Or I’ll do it myself.”
“All right, all right.” Alix found a knife in the kitchen and, afraid she might infect either her friend or the baby, put it in a pan full of water, which she set on the stove to boil. She dashed back into the living room just in time to deliver the afterbirth.
As soon as she’d cut the cord, Alix took the baby into the bathroom and cleaned him off. Then she wrapped him in the blanket she’d knit in class. Certain Laurel would have a change of heart now that the birth was over, Alix carried the newborn into the living room, hoping to coax her roommate into at least glancing at her son.
“Just look at him once,” Alix pleaded. “He’s perfect, Laurel.”
Laurel refused again with a shake of her head. “Get rid of it.”
Alix couldn’t believe anyone could be so coldhearted. “I can’t do that.”
“Then give it to me and I will.”
“Will…what will you do?” Alix protectively cradled the infant.
“I’ll take it to some Dumpster and leave it there.”
Laurel didn’t even seem to consider this infant a child. She referred to him as “it.”
“You really mean that, don’t you?” she said in a horrified voice. “You don’t want this baby.”
“How many times do I have to say it?” Laurel shouted. “Get rid of that thing.”
With one arm around the newborn, Alix controlled her racing thoughts. If Laurel didn’t want this baby, she knew someone who did. “Sign something.”
“What?” Laurel stared up at her blankly.
“I need a statement from you that says you’re giving up this baby of your own free will.”
Laurel frowned. “Who am I giving this baby to?”
“To a couple for adoption.” Alix took a deep breath. “I know someone who desperately wants and needs a child. I want her and her husband to raise this baby boy. You might not love him, but I know Carol will. I brought him into this world. I feel personally responsible for him now. Like you said, you want me to get rid of him.”
“Do whatever you want. I don’t care.”
“You aren’t going to change your mind?”
“No.” Then as if to prove her point, she grabbed the knife and raised her arm as if she meant to kill the infant on the spot. “I want it dead or out of my life, understand? What more do I have to say to prove it? Just get rid of it! I don’t care what you do as long as you get it out of here.”
As she held the screaming infant in her arms, Alix grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen, then handed them to her friend. “Write it down.”
Sitting up, Laurel quickly scribbled a few lines and signed her name. Alix read them over, then returned to the bedroom. She set the baby on her bed and jerked on clothes as fast as her shaking hands would allow. The infant gazed up at her and Alix bent down and kissed his forehead.
“I wish you’d had a warmer welcome to the world, little boy,” she whispered. “But I know someone who’ll love you.”
Without another word to Laurel, Alix threw her purse over her shoulder and walked out of the apartment. It was early Friday morning and the streets were dark and eerie. Moving as fast as she could with the baby held against her chest, Alix stepped into the foyer of Annie’s Café where there was a pay phone. She searched for fifty cents and then pulled out the piece of paper Jordan had given her with his phone number.
She inserted the coins and pressed the receiver to her ear as she punched in the numbers. “Oh please, be there,” she whispered. “Please.”
Jordan didn’t answer until the fifth ring, just when Alix was about to hang up in frustration and despair.
“This better be good,” he muttered into the phone.
“Jordan, it’s me.” She was so glad to hear his voice she nearly wept for joy. “Remember you said I could phone if I ever needed you?”
“Are you in trouble?”
She wasn’t sure how to answer him. “I’m at Annie’s Café…. Can you come and get me?”
“Now?”
“Yes, and please hurry.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He didn’t hesitate, didn’t so much as pause. If ever Alix had doubted her feelings for him, she didn’t anymore. She knew with certainty that there was one person in her life she could turn to anytime, night or day, and that was Jordan.
Alix bounced the baby gently in her arms. She cooed and comforted him as she waited inside the lighted foyer of Annie’s Café for Jordan’s car. When she saw him turn the corner, she pushed through the glass door and walked to the curb.
Jordan eased to a stop and leaned over to throw open the passenger door.
He stared at her. “Is that…a baby?” His voice was hoarse with sleep and shock.
“It’s Laurel’s and that creep John’s…. I just delivered him.”
“So that’s…” He broke off for a moment. “She talked to me not long ago, said she was in some kind of trouble, but wouldn’t tell me what.”
Alix nodded. She understood it all now.
“Do you need me to take the baby to the hospital?” he asked.
“No.” Because her heart was full and because she knew what had to be done, she bent to kiss him.
“Alix…you can’t keep this baby.”
“I delivered him. I’ll be the one to find him a home.”
Jordan’s eyes widened. “What are you thinking?”
“I know someone who needs this baby.”
“Who?”
“It doesn’t matter who. Now, either you drive or I’ll catch a cab.”