She looked out the kitchen window and saw him just sitting there on the curb, not playing with his trucks or the wagon or even the balsa glider that had pleased him so much all the last week since Jack had brought it home. He was just sitting there, watching for their shopworn VW, his elbows planted on his thighs and his chin propped in his hands, a five-yearold kid waiting for his daddy.
Wendy suddenly felt bad, almost crying bad.
She hung the dish towel over the bar by the sink and went downstairs, buttoning the top two buttons of her house dress. Jack and his pride! Hey no, Al, I don't need an advance. I'm okay for a while. The hallway walls were gouged and marked with crayons, grease pencil, spray paint. The stairs were steep and splintery. The whole building smelled of sour age, and what sort of place was this for Danny after the small neat brick house in Stovington? The people living above them on the third floor weren't married, and while that didn't bother her, their constant, rancorous fighting did. It scared her. The guy up there was Tom, and after the bars had closed and they had returned home, the fights would start in earnest-the rest of the week was just a prelim in comparison. The Friday Night Fights, Jack called them, but it wasn't funny. The woman-her name was Elaine-would at last be reduced to tears and to repeating over and over again: "Don't, Tom. Please don't. Please don't." And he would shout at her. Once they had even awakened Danny, and Danny slept like a corpse. The next morning Jack caught Tom going out and had spoken to him on the sidewalk at some length. Tom started to bluster and Jack had said something else to him, too quietly for Wendy to hear, and Tom had only shaken his head sullenly and walked away. That had been a week ago and for a few days things had been better, but since the weekend things had been working back to normal-excuse me, abnormal. It was bad for the boy.
Her sense of grief washed over her again but she was on the walk now and she smothered it. Sweeping her dress under her and sitting down on the curb beside him, she said: "What's up, doc?"
He smiled at her but it was perfunctory. "Hi, Mom."
The glider was between his sneakered feet, and she saw that one of the wings had started to splinter.
"Want me to see what I can do with that, honey?"
Danny had gone back to staring up the street. "No. Dad will fix it."
"Your daddy may not be back until suppertime, doc. It's a long drive up into those mountains."
"Do you think the bug will break down?"
"No, I don't think so." But he had just given her something new to worry about. Thanks, Danny. I needed that.
"Dad said it might," Danny said in a matter-of-fact, almost bored manner. "He said the fuel pump was all shot to shit."
"Don't say that, Danny."
"Fuel pump?" he asked her with honest surprise.
She sighed. "No, `All shot to shit. ' Don't say that."
"Why?"
"It's vulgar."
"What's vulgar, Mom?"
"Like when you pick your nose at the table or pee with the bathroom door open. Or saying things like `All shot to shit. ' Shit is a vulgar word. Nice people don't say it."
"Dad says it. When he was looking at the bugmotor be said, `Christ this fuel pump's all shot to sbit. ' Isn't Dad nice?"
How do you get into these things, Winnifred? Do you practice?
"He's nice, but he's also a grown-up. And he's very careful not to say things like that in front of people who wouldn't understand."
"You mean like Uncle AI?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Can I say it when I'm grown-up?"
"I suppose you will, whether I like it or not."
"How old?"
"How does twenty sound, doc?"
"That's a long time to have to wait."
"I guess it is, but will you try?"
"Hokay."
He went back to staring up the street. He flexed a little, as if to rise, but the beetle coming was much newer, and much brighter red. He relaxed again. She wondered just how hard this move to Colorado had been on Danny. He was closemouthed about it, but it bothered her to see him spending so much time by himself. In Vermont three of Jack's fellow faculty members had had children about Danny's age-and there bad been the preschool-but in this neighborhood there was no one for him to play with. Most of the apartments were occupied by students attending CU, and of the few married couples here on Arapahoe Street, only a tiny percentage had children. She had spotted perhaps a dozen of high school or junior high school age, three infants, and that was all.