I’d once heard a guy say that sleeping with her was part of being initiated onto the team. But that was just jocktarded smack talk, probably started by someone who couldn’t catch her eye.
“But do you like her?” Bickley pried. He was desperate to trick me into saying who it was. But it wasn’t going to work.
“Of course I do,” I admitted. Bella was the best kind of girl. Smart, sexy and fun. But spending more time with her was a terrible idea. Because I did not trust myself with her. Dios. I’d been like the Incredible Hulk videos I used to watch as a kid. With very little provocation I’d come busting out of all my clothes and unleashed myself on that girl.
My neck got hot just thinking about it.
“Are you going to call her?” Bickley pressed.
“Yeah.” Of course I would do that. We were neighbors, after all. I couldn’t just duck her for the next eight months, even if I wanted to. But I didn’t want to duck her at all. So after I calmed down a little, the best plan of action would be to knock on her door and at least say…
I had no idea what.
I didn’t see Bella on Monday. But on Tuesdays we shared a class. Intro to Urban Studies had about sixty people in it, though, and was held in a lecture hall. The spot was not exactly conducive to a private discussion.
To make matters worse, Alison took that course, too. So now Urban Studies was fast becoming Awkward Studies.
Bella ran in at the last minute, parking herself in a seat by the door. Her cheeks were flushed, as if she’d been hurrying.
My traitorous body heated immediately. Just one look at her and I was transported back to Saturday night. Bella reached into her backpack on the floor for a pen, and the graceful line of her neck made me remember how I’d kissed every inch of that creamy skin.
Looking up then, Bella caught me watching her. And whatever she saw on my face made her frown.
Dios. I snapped my gaze away, staring down at the notebook on my desktop. What an ass I was. I felt guilty about what I’d done with Bella. But here I sat practically frothing at the mouth.
Not cool.
When the professor began speaking, I did my best to listen. I loved this class, actually. The prof was a long-time New York City planner, and often the examples he gave in his lectures were places I knew. Greenwich Village. Lincoln Center. Central Park. I’d passed those spots my whole life without knowing much about how they’d come to be. Professor Giulios knew, though. Soaking up his stories and theories was effortless for me. In this class I felt at least as well equipped to learn the material as anyone else in the room.
That was rare for me at Harkness. I’d gone to a decent New York City public high school. But it wasn’t even forty-eight hours into my first semester as a freshman when I’d realized how outclassed I was. My freshman roommate went to Andover where he’d played first violin in the orchestra. The guy across the hall had gone to Exeter, where he’d built rockets in a physics lab and memorized two thousand Chinese characters.
This year, I roomed with Bickley, who had attended Eton, a school I’d only heard about in old books. Even Mat seemed to have gotten a top-notch education at his public school in Virginia.
At Harkness, I worked my ass off for B’s and C’s. Bickley, on the other hand, often slept through class and pulled A’s without seeming to try.
I felt someone’s eyes on me and turned to look.
Alison sat a few rows away. Her ivory skin appeared even paler than usual, and there were dark circles under her eyes. When she saw me looking, her face filled with regret.
Oh, just save it, I thought. Bitterness crawled into my throat, and I swallowed it down. She’d been so callous. And now she felt bad about it?
Giving the professor my full attention, I took careful notes on the lecture. This is what I’d come to Harkness to do, after all. This, and soccer. Everything else was just a distraction.
When class ended, I zipped my backpack and moved toward the door. As luck would have it, I arrived at the exit just as Bella did. “So you do still exist,” she said as we exited the building.
We stopped in a spot where there weren’t as many people around. “Look, about Sunday morning…” I began.
She rolled her eyes. “It’s no big thing, Rafe. Sneaking out is a time-honored element of the one-night stand.”
I studied her for a moment. The look in her eyes didn’t match the flippant statement she’d just made. Dios. I’d offended her. But what should I say about it now? Bella was awesome, but I didn’t know how to tell her I thought so. I rubbed the back of my neck. “I never, um…” And now I was starting to sweat. “I really didn’t mean for things to…”