“Yeah? Well he cheated on me with a woman.” He pronounced the word the way some people would say “cockroach.”
I pushed my face into Bickley’s designer throw pillow. It was a relief to think about someone else’s problems for a minute. “I’ll bet it won’t last, though,” I said, my words muffled by cashmere and down feathers.
“Why do you say that?”
“I dunno. Being a gay dude in the military sounds like a whole lot of trouble, no? Why do that if you’re not sure?” I was talking out of my ass. “But what the hell do I know?”
Mat heaved a sigh. “Good point. Twenty-four hours ago, I would have agreed with you. But he said he wants kids and all that shit. The picket fence. The dog.”
Dios. “I want that stuff, too. And so does Alison. It’s just that she wants it with some dick who wears a Rolex.”
Mat gave me another grunt. I’m pretty sure it was supposed to sound empathetic.
“At least I didn’t spend two hundred bucks on dinner,” I added. “The night blew up about two minutes after I walked out of here.”
Mat said nothing. With him, that counted as a reply.
“Are you pissed at Devon?” I asked.
“I wish I was angry,” Mat admitted. “I’m only depressed.”
“Yeah? Well I’m both depressed and pissed.” I was so tweaked by the whole thing that I’d gone and done something colossally stupid. Ugh. I felt ill again just thinking about it.
And then the freaking condom broke — a memory that beat like a drum beat in my aching brain. But that’s what you get when you think with your pito.
“I should be pissed,” Mat said. “Pissed would feel better than this. I thought we were happy.” He put his head in his hands, and for the first time all year I felt sorry for the guy.
“I thought we were happy, too,” I commiserated. But even as I said it, I thought about all the times Alison had pushed me away. I should have been paying better attention.
“Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.” Mat chuckled darkly. “Christ. Listen to me. I’m a fucking greeting card. At least I got laid before I got dumped.”
That wasn’t a subject I wished to talk about, so I was quiet.
A knock at the door interrupted our silence.
As if by some prior arrangement, Mat and I were both stealthily silent, meeting each other’s eyes.
The knock repeated, but neither of us spoke up. There was nobody I wanted to see right now. No one at all.
“Rafe? You must be in there. Open up.” It was Alison’s voice.
Mat’s eyebrows lifted, and I shook my head. Mat lifted a thumb toward his bedroom. Silently, I tiptoed past him and into the little single. Once I’d cleared the doorway, I was hidden from view.
I heard Mat go to the door and answer it. “He’s not home,” he said.
“Oh,” Alison said softly. “Can you give this to him? I want him to have it. In fact, even if he tries to give it back, I won’t take it.”
“Uh, okay. I’ll tell him.”
“Thank you,” she said, her voice dropping.
I started back into the common room after the outer door closed, only to leap back again when it reopened. This time, it was Bickley at the door. I heard him utter a cheerful greeting to the departing Alison before the door finally closed once again.
“It’s safe now,” Mat said. “Come and open your present.”
“Why is Rafe hiding in your bedroom?” Bickley asked as I emerged.
Mat held up a little gift bag. “The birthday boy does not want to see the girl who dumped him last night.”
“Come again?” There was shock on Bickley’s face. “Alison cut you loose?”
“Pretty much,” I said, not wanting to go into details.
“For the love of God, tell me that you’re not still a virgin.”
“What?” Mat yelped. “He’s twenty years old, for fuck’s sake. He’s not a virgin.”
I felt a wave of nausea. They were both staring at me.
“Well? Are you or aren’t you?” Mat demanded.
“No,” I said slowly. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
Bickley held up two slim hands. “Step back a moment. Something does not add up. Alison let you shag her before she dumped you?”
I shook my head while Bickley did the math. I could practically hear his gears turning. “So… Alison dumped you. And then you had sex with someone else?”