He was right, I knew. ‘But even if you can’t state your opinions, you can act on them.’
‘Not openly. No, you and I are both confined to showing but one part of us in public, and another to our friends. As for the whole of us … well, that must be reserved for those few people we are fortunate enough to love and trust.’
He glanced at me then and appeared to mistake my continuing silence for sulking, because he said, ‘Would it be any comfort if I told you you’d missed nothing of importance on our trip to shore this morning? That even Fergal could not rouse himself to anything but boredom? Would that help?’
‘Not much.’ But still I smiled. ‘Did Fergal tell you that I asked to come along?’
He clearly hadn’t, from the lift of Daniel’s eyebrow. ‘And what did he say to that?’
I told him, and he gave a short laugh, his eyes warming. ‘Well, ’tis certain you’ve won his affection, for had any other woman asked him, Fergal would have thought it a fine joke to tell the crew.’
I said, ‘I thought he might have told you, that was all.’
The laughter faded from his eyes but left the warmth. ‘I’ve no need of Fergal to tell me when you are unhappy. Not even he can match my knowledge of your moods, I think, or know the way to read them in your face.’
The ship rolled and I put a hand against the window for support. It was no more than that, I thought – the movement of the ship, and not the words that Daniel had just said, or how he’d said them, or the fact that he was standing half a step from me.
Looking up at him I said, ‘I’m not unhappy.’
‘Are you not?’
‘It’s not unhappiness. It’s …’ Trying to find some way to describe the confusion of emotions I was feeling, I looked past his shoulder seeking inspiration. ‘Daniel?’
‘Yes?’
I touched his arm and for a moment he misunderstood and stepped in closer, so my cheek was pressed against the roughness of his jacket when I gripped his arm more firmly, turning him so he could see what I was seeing.
In the Sally’s wake a tall black ship was following, her bowsprit spearing through the waves with predatory purpose.
He briefly tightened his embrace, his mouth brushing over my hair in a quick kiss of apology or promise before he released me altogether. ‘Keep back from the windows,’ he told me. ‘And no matter what may happen …’
‘I’ll stay here,’ I said.
He gave a nod. ‘If there is any danger, I will come for you. I promise. Oh, and Eva? Lock—’
‘—the door. I know.’
The quick flash of his smile was my reward for that as he stepped out and shut the door behind him.
Whatever signal passed between the French ship and our own it must have proved this was indeed the ship that Daniel thought it was, the one he had been sent to meet. He brought us hard around into the wind so that we all but stopped, and the next sound I heard was the orderly scramble of men going over the side of the Sally and into the boat.
I knew Daniel was with them. I caught the timbre of his voice above the now-familiar slap and splash of oars as they rowed off.
And so I settled in to wait, and let myself slide down the wall till I was sitting curled against it with my legs tucked up and my head resting comfortably on my knees. I sat like that a long time, drifting idly with my thoughts, rocked by the Sally’s gentle motion on the water, and at last that combination brought my heavy eyelids down and I was lulled to sleep.
My dreams were deep and pleasant, filled with Daniel’s smiling eyes, his touch, his voice …
‘You cannot stay here,’ he said quietly.
‘I want to,’ I replied. ‘I want to stay.’
I felt him lift me, then, and reaching up I linked my arms around his neck and snuggled to his chest before the hardness of it warned me that I was no longer dreaming.
Blinking stupidly, I looked around, or tried to. It was night, the only light within the darkened cabin coming from a single candle set upon the desk, the curtains drawn across the curving sweep of windows. Daniel shifted me a little higher on his chest. I must have been a burden with the weight of my green gown, but he made no complaints. He only said, ‘You cannot sleep here on the floor.’
I wasn’t totally awake yet. ‘Didn’t mean to. I was waiting.’
‘So I see.’
‘You took a long time.’
‘Ay, we had a fair lot to discuss, and then the cargo to bring over.’
They’d already transferred cargo from the French ship to the Sally? I’d heard nothing. ‘Did I sleep through that?’
‘Apparently.’ He set me on my feet but kept a light hold on my arms as though he thought I might topple over. ‘Fergal was guarding your door for the most of it, I only came with the final load.’
Fergal. Guarding my door. With my reason returning, I looked at the door, which I knew I had locked. ‘How did you get in?’
He raised one hand and briefly let a brass key dangle from his fingers. ‘The captain’s advantage. I’ve brought you some supper.’
Now that I thought of it, I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and my stomach did feel hollow.
On the desk beside the candle lay a hunk of cheese half-wrapped in muslin, two pears and a few round buns that looked a little squashed as though he’d brought them in his pockets, which he very likely had done.
‘Thank you.’ Picking up a bun, I took a bite. ‘It’s very good. What is it?’