‘I mean, Kayden picked this place out with Seth,’ I say with a shrug. ‘As a surprise for me.’
‘But he knew you wanted to move in with him, right? He didn’t just do it assuming?’ He almost seems like he’s asking for knowledge for himself, like maybe he’s thinking about doing it with his girlfriend or something.
‘Of course he knew I wanted to. I’d asked him a couple of weeks before then and he said he’d think about it, but then he surprised me with this.’ I gesture around at my palace proudly, even though Jackson looks unimpressed. But I don’t care. This is my palace and unlike the one in the story I’m writing, it doesn’t have vines and thorns, but warmth and promises of happiness.
He gives me this strange look that I can’t decipher.
‘What?’ I ask.
He shrugs. ‘It’s nothing.’
‘It is something; otherwise, you wouldn’t be looking at me like a weirdo.’
That gets him to laugh. ‘It really is nothing. I was just thinking about how you seem happy.’ His shoulders keep lifting and falling. ‘It’s nice, and you deserve it.’
‘Thanks, Jackson.’ I smile at him as I text Luke to see if he can come help.
‘Although, I have to say, I wouldn’t tell Mom that whole story of him surprising you,’ Jackson says. ‘She’ll think you’re getting engaged.’ He pauses then smirks at me. ‘Though, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did at the rate you two are going.’
‘Okay, Mom.’ I roll my eyes at him then laugh, but Jackson doesn’t join in.
‘Just giving you a head’s up,’ he tells me with a nonchalant lift of his shoulders. ‘You seem kind of clueless with this stuff.’
I’d be offended, but I’m too distracted by the other thing he said. Is that where Kayden and I are heading? Why have I never thought of this?
I probably would have sat there all day, stuck in my head, if my phone didn’t start going nuts in my hand.
Luke: Yeah, headed over. I’m not at my place, though, so it’ll take me just a little bit longer.
Me: K, thanks. I owe u one:)
I put my phone away then get to my feet. ‘I got you some non-tiny backup.’
My brother looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’
‘Luke’s coming over to help you move the heavy stuff in,’ I say, opening the front door. ‘But while we wait, this tiny little girl with her tiny little arms is going to go bring up what she can because she’s not as weak as she looks.’
‘I know that, Callie.’ My brother follows me outside and down the stairway. ‘You’re tougher than a lot of people.’
‘Wow, two compliments in a day,’ I joke, jumping off the last step and into a fluffy pile of snow that reaches the ankles of my boots. ‘It’s a miracle.’
‘It’ll be a miracle if it stopped snowing.’ He zips his coat up to his chin and glares at the cloudy sky. ‘I’m going to freeze my ass off.’
‘The weather in Florida’s making you kind of a baby.’ I pick up a handful of snow and ball it up in my hand. ‘You know that.’
Now he’s glaring at me. ‘You throw that at me and you’re going to pay.’
I make the snow in my hand into a firm ball then I back down the frozen sidewalk. ‘I’ll only pay if you can catch me, but I have a feeling that Florida Boy is going to fail epically when I run up the snowbank.’ Then I stick out my tongue and launch the snowball at him.
I don’t think he thought I had the guts to do it because he doesn’t even duck. It hits him straight in the face and I feel kind of bad, but not enough to stop myself from laughing.
Looking pissed off, he wipes the snow from his face with the sleeve of his jacket. ‘You’re so going to pay for that.’ He cracks his knuckles as he walks toward me. ‘I think you’ve forgotten how good I used to be at mad, crazy snowball fighting.’
‘The key words being used to.’ I take off running before I even finish my sentence, knowing full well that this is probably going to end with me getting my face shoved in the snow. He used to do it all the time when we were younger and Jackson hasn’t grown up enough not to do it now.
Just like I predicted, by the end of our mad, crazy snowball fight, Jackson is smashing snow in my face. I’m on my back on the snowbank near the dumpster, laughing my butt off as he stands over me, pressing snow into my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Luke’s truck pull up and park under the carport near the building.
‘Fine, I give up!’ I laugh, kicking at Jackson, feeling like a kid again, having fun with my older brother, something that stopped happening when I was twelve. ‘Just stop! Luke’s here.’
‘I warned you not to mess with me.’ His cheeks are red because I did manage to throw a few more snowballs at his face. Just to be an ass, Jackson drops a handful of snow on the top of my head before helping me to my feet. Then we slip down the steep hill and walk back toward the carport area. My coat is full of snow and I try to shake it out while Jackson laughs his head off at me.
‘This is so cold,’ I say as we approach Luke’s truck.
‘Just wait until we hit the slopes,’ Jackson replies, plucking some flakes of snow out of his hair. ‘You’re probably going to get a face full of snow every time you try to stop.’
My nose scrunches. ‘Way to boost my confidence.’
Jackson’s mouth spreads to a grin. ‘Anytime.’
I’m thinking of a comeback when the truck door swings open and Luke hops out. He’s wearing a vintage-looking leather coat, a beanie, and has black work boots on. ‘Figures it has to be snowing when we do this,’ he remarks, slipping a pair of gloves on.
Luke used to scare me when I first met him. He just has that look about him that screams back the heck off. But once I got to know him, I realized he was actually really nice and that the look came from his own inner demons.
‘I hope you don’t mind, but I brought some people with me.’ Right as he says it, Violet climbs out of the passenger side. Like Luke, she’s wearing a beanie over her wild locks of red and black hair, boots, and a leather jacket, only unlike Luke, hers has studs in it. Violet is actually the perfect match for Luke and not just when it comes to looks either. Although I can seriously picture two figurine replicas of them standing upon the top of a gothic wedding cake.
‘The more the merrier,’ Jackson tells Luke, stomping some snow off his boots. ‘And the less I have to carry.’
‘Well, aren’t you just a gentleman,’ Violet says sarcastically to my brother, unimpressed.
My brother responds by checking her out, his eyes quickly scrolling up her body.
I jab him in the side with my elbow. ‘Ew, stop it,’ I hiss under my breath. ‘She’s Luke’s girlfriend and you have your own, remember?’
Jackson gives me a whoops look, totally busted. ‘Sorry.’
I’m surprised by how easy he lets it go and I turn to Luke and Violet, reaching into my coat pocket to get my own gloves. ‘Ready to get this party started?’
‘Yeah, just as soon as I bundle up.’ The voice doesn’t come from either of them or my brother, but from the passenger side of the truck.
My head snaps in the direction, my heart leaping in my chest before I even see him. ‘What the heck are you doing here?’ I ask as I sprint around the back of the truck, nearly wiping out on a patch of ice, but I regain my footing and launch myself into Kayden’s strong arms, a little too forcefully because he lets out a grunt.
His arms slip around me and he holds me tightly against him. ‘I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to be here with you.’
‘I needed you here, too,’ I say, because even though I handled the thing with Caleb just fine, I’d needed him, something I’m discovering now.
‘I know.’ He hugs me tighter.
To everyone else, it probably looks like we’re happily reuniting. That, like the apartment, this was another amazing surprise. And it is in a way. But only I can hear the desperation in Kayden’s voice, the silent plea for me to never let him go.
And it’s exactly what I do.
Chapter 22
#164 Party Dance Like a Rock Star.
Kayden
Dylan had let me use his flyer miles to change flights and go home early, but only if I promised to visit for Christmas and bring Callie. Hopefully, Callie won’t mind that I agreed because I really just wanted to go home to her.
The flight home, I’m a mess and have to keep repeating to myself all the reasons why I don’t need to cut.
Callie.
I don’t want to go back to that place where I become that person again.
I’m not happier when I do it.
It’s unhealthy, both mentally and physically.
Callie.
I’ll have to start all over again.
My body already has too many scars.
I want to be better.
I need to let go of the past.
Callie.
Callie.
Callie.
That list streams through my head for the entire trip and it keeps me intact and clearly shows what is important to me. By the time I make it to the apartment – to Callie – I’m an emotional wreck, but in a good way.
I don’t really get to talk to Callie very much for the rest of the day, though I’m desperate to. We spend most of the afternoon unloading the truck then take a break in the living room before heading out to get something to eat because everyone is ‘starving to death.’
‘You need some pictures on your wall,’ Jackson says, sitting down on the sofa and glancing around at our bare white walls. He takes off the beanie he’s wearing and tosses it aside. ‘It’d make this place look better.’
‘We’ll get there,’ Callie replies, plopping down on the barstool next to the one I’m sitting on. Luke and Violet are sprawled out on the floor, cheeks red and looking as exhausted as I feel. There are pieces of furniture and boxes everywhere, but it feels like we’ve made progress toward turning this place into a home. ‘I’m still working on getting some up.’
‘I don’t think we have any,’ I say, picking at the label on my water bottle. ‘At least not any of you and me.’
‘You don’t think I’ve taken pictures of you,’ she says, pressing her hand to her chest, feigning being offended.
I manage to peel the damp label off and set it on the counter. ‘You have some of me?’
‘Of us.’ She nudges me with her elbow and smiles. But when I don’t return it, she falters. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘It’s nothing.’ I shrug and say in a low voice so no one else can hear me, ‘It’s just, pictures on a wall? Is that what people do, because we sure as hell didn’t growing up.’ But I can’t help thinking of Dylan’s place and all the pictures they have up on the wall – a life, and a good one. Is that where I’m heading? Can I have that?
It’s crazy that I don’t have to say it, that she can actually see what I’m thinking. ‘It’ll make this place not just an apartment, but a home.’ She leans over and gives me a peck on the lips.
I’m about to pull her in for a deeper kiss, but Jackson clears his throat. ‘Okay, I say it’s time to get some grub.’
Callie sighs against my lips. ‘We’ll talk later.’
I nod and then we all head out and pile into Callie’s dad’s car which is roomier than my car and Luke’s truck. Luke still manages to turn up some classic rock that everyone pretends they don’t know but ends up belting out the lyrics. By the time we hit up a local, mellower bar in town, everyone is laughing, in a good mood, but too exhausted that it takes us forever to make it inside.
‘So much for partying like a rock star,’ Callie jokes to Jackson as we settle into a booth. There’s some alternative music playing in the background and some people dancing. ‘You must be so disappointed in me.’
Jackson reaches for a menu tucked between the salt shakers. ‘Nah, I’m kind of tired myself.’ He flips open the menu. ‘Must be getting old.’
‘You better watch it,’ she teases. ‘You’re one step away from sitting around in your sweat pants on weekends and yelling at the television when your team fumbles the ball.’
‘Hey, I do that sometimes,’ I intervene. ‘Well, minus the sweatpants.’ I flash her a flirty grin and wink. ‘I just do it naked.’
‘Glad to know what I have to look forward to,’ Callie says then winks back at me. It makes me laugh for the first time since I’ve gotten back from Virginia.
‘Good God, please don’t go there,’ Jackson mutters with all his attention on the menu. ‘I really don’t want to hear about what my sister and her boyfriend do behind closed doors.’
‘Sorry, man.’ I actually used to hate Jackson for the way he treated Callie and for bringing Caleb into her life. I still carry a little disdain for him, but Callie seems to have let it go, so I’m trying to be nice. But I want to talk to Callie openly without her brother listening, so I slide to get out of the booth, Luke giving me a begrudging huff of frustration when he has to get out of my way.
‘Where are you going?’ Callie asks as I stand up and stretch my arms above my head, constraining a grin when I notice her checking out the sliver of my stomach that peeks out from the bottom of my red shirt.
‘To dance.’ I nod my chin in the direction of the dance area. ‘Want to come?’