Kayden chuckles, amused by my embarrassment as he pinches my cheeks, like my mom has done to me a thousand times. ‘What can I say? I’m super lovable enough to want to keep me forever.’ He’s quoting something my mother said to him earlier when we were opening presents.
‘You are lovable,’ I tell him once we get inside the guest room above the garage and the door is safely shut behind us. And locked. ‘But she doesn’t need to tell you that every minute.’ I flop down on my back onto the air mattress, which is the only piece of furniture besides the space heater and the bathroom. I’m not complaining, though, since the reason it’s so bare is because the furniture now fills our apartment.
‘She’s just being nice,’ Kayden says, gazing down at me. His hair is ruffled, his jawline is scruffy, and he looks so happy. ‘And it’s nice that she wants to be so nice. It could be worse than an overnice mother.’
‘Yeah, I know,’ I sigh, knowing he’s right, that it could be worse, that I could have parents like his mother. ‘I just wish she’d be just a little bit less embarrassing.’ I raise my hand and make a pinching gesture with my fingers. ‘Maybe just a teeny, tiny bit.’
‘Yeah, I doubt that’s ever going to happen.’ Kayden slips his shirt off and chucks it aside. His jeans ride low on his hips, giving me a view of his abs and chest that is crisscrossed with scars. ‘I did find it funny when she kept cracking jokes about us getting married all through dinner.’ He kneels down on the mattress, nudging my knees open with his until I spread open my legs for him.
‘Oh God.’ Shaking my head, I cover my face with my hands. ‘I’m glad you find it funny because I’m sure most guys would be running for their lives.’
The mattress moves as he leans over me and puts a hand on each side of my head. I crack my fingers apart and look at him. He’s been so much happier since the funeral, since he said goodbye to his mother, since he put the past behind him. He seems to breathe freer, smile more, and it’s probably the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.
‘Well, just make sure you really want this,’ I say as he moves one of my hands away from my eyes, ‘because you still have time to run.’
He shakes his head, his tongue slipping out of his mouth to wet his lips. ‘No running here,’ he whispers in a raspy voice I know only means one thing – he wants me. ‘Ever.’ He moves my other hand away from my face then pins my arms above my head.
A while ago, the movement would have sent my heart soaring and not in a good way. But now … well, it freaking soars like a bird high up in the sky, never wanting to return to land, ever. It soars because it’s free. It soars for him.
‘You want me,’ I tease as he leans down to kiss me.
‘You’re right,’ he says. ‘And then I want to give you your present.’
‘But you already gave me my present.’ I pat my pocket, inside which are the tickets to the concert he gave me. He said it was for a redo of a night that should have been special, but he couldn’t give it to me then. He was ready now to give me everything I deserve – his words not mine. My mom practically fainted when he said it. And me … well, I think I fell in love with Kayden even more.
‘Yeah, but that one was only the first part.’ He kisses me then softly bites my bottom lip before he leans back for air. ‘There’s more,’ he breathes against my lips, coming in for another kiss, ‘but you have to wait.’
‘Until when?’ I wonder, my heart skipping a beat as his hands wander to the button of my jeans.
‘Until we’re done with this.’ He gives me a wicked smile as he flicks my button undone.
‘That feels like blackmail …’ My back arches as his knuckles graze my stomach. ‘Good thing I like being blackmailed by you.’
‘God, I love that look in your eyes when I touch you,’ he says softly against my ear before nipping at my lobe.
I’m about to get lost inside him when I remember something. ‘Wait.’ I put a hand against his chest, pushing him back a little, causing him to give a sexy, frustrated growl that makes the area between my lips tingle. ‘Don’t you want your present?’
He pushes back from me and arches his brow. ‘What? I thought that sweater was from all of you.’ He’s totally amused with himself.
I glare at him. ‘You did not. I would never, ever be a part of giving you a sweater with an elf knitted on it.’
‘Hey, I like the sweater,’ he insists, actually being genuine. ‘No one has ever given me a sweater. Fuck, no one has ever given me a present before.’
Wow, I can feel the pressure. Maybe I should have gotten something better than I did.
‘Well, don’t get too excited,’ I say, scooting out from under him and rolling off the mattress. ‘It’s not much.’ I reach into my duffel bag to get his present.
He sits up on the mattress, looking about as eager as a kid sitting in front of a Christmas tree. ‘I’ll be happy with whatever you give me.’
I know he’s telling the truth, but still, when I hand him the small, rectangular present, I feel like it’s not enough. I hold my breath in anticipation and sit down beside him as he tears the paper off and chucks it aside. I wait for his reaction, but he just sits there, frozen, staring at it.
He stares.
And stares.
And stares.
With his head is tucked down and I can’t read him at all.
‘I told you I took pictures of us.’ I tap the frame that’s around the picture of Kayden and me kissing at the carnival we went to this summer. It’s actually a really pretty picture, the flashing neon lights and shapes of the rides behind us contrasting perfectly with the starry night above us. ‘Well, Seth actually took this one with my phone, but it’s a gorgeous photo of us. Totally wall worthy, I think.’
He just keeps staring at the photo and I feel like I’m about to lose my mind as I think of all the things that could be wrong. Maybe I’m reminding him of his past too much. Maybe I’m reminding him of everything he didn’t have.
But when I finally work up the courage to say something, a tear slips from his eye.
He’s crying and I’m afraid.
Maybe this was too emotional.
Maybe it was the wrong thing.
As my self-doubts wash over me, he lifts his gaze to meet mine and I realize that I was wrong.
He’s not crying because he’s sad.