‘You’ve been awfully quiet,’ my father says as he makes a right down Main Street.

‘That’s because she’s lovesick.’ Jackson smirks at me and I stick out my tongue.

‘Is that what it is?’ my father asks and I vow to get Jackson back for bringing this up. ‘Do you miss Kayden?’

‘Of course I miss him,’ I say, unzipping my coat because Jackson is overheating the car with how high he’s got the heater turned up. ‘But I’m always this quiet.’

‘That’s true,’ Jackson mumbles. He folds his arms and stares out the window at the buildings bordering the street. The town is small, but it’s the day after Thanksgiving and the sales the stores are having are causing havoc in the streets.

‘We should go snowboarding or something this weekend,’ Jackson suddenly says to me. I know what he’s doing. Ever since I told my family about what happened with Caleb on my twelfth birthday, Jackson has acted almost too nice. I think he feels guilty because Caleb was his friend and therefore was in the house because of him. I don’t blame him, though. It’s not like he knew it was going to happen. Caleb had everyone fooled.

‘I don’t really know how to snowboard,’ I admit as our dad turns into the busy parking lot of the hardware store located in the heart of the town. ‘And I don’t have a board.’

‘You can borrow my old one. And we’ll go down the small hill.’

I frown. ‘You mean the bunny hill?’

He unclicks his seatbelt. ‘See, you already know the lingo. You’ll be fine.’

I roll my eyes, but agree to go. Then the three of us hop out of the car and face the madness of the store. There’s so many people there that we have to stand in a line just to get in.

‘Wow, people are crazy,’ Jackson mumbles, tugging the hood of his coat over his head as we wait to get to the doors. ‘You should have thought of something else, Dad, that didn’t require going into stores.’

‘Yeah, you’re probably right,’ he agrees, putting on a pair of gloves. ‘But I panicked when she came at me with the inflatable Santa.’

I’m laughing at him when my phone vibrates from inside my pocket. I take it out as we move forward with the line, already guessing who the text is from.

And I’m right.

Kayden: So how’s it going?

Me: Super great, except for the whole avoid-crazy-mom thing turned into an enter-crazy-shopper thing.

Kayden: ???

Me: My dad makes up an excuse every year to get us out of the house while my mother goes mad ninja Christmas crazy on the house. But this time he didn’t put enough thought into it because he took us to the store. And people are nuts. There’s a line just to get into the store.

Kayden: I’m sorry you’re not having fun:(

Me: I actually am. It’s good to see my dad and Jackson. He actually offered to take me snowboarding this weekend.

Kayden: U should go. It’s a lot of fun.

Me: I told him I would, but I’m pretty sure I’ll just spend the day falling on my butt.

Kayden: At least you’ll look adorable doing it;)

Me: Hmm … I’m not so sure. I think my adorableness is only seen by your eyes.

Kayden: No way. U just don’t see it.

I’m about to text back when I realize Jackson and my dad are staring at me with silly grins on their faces.

‘What?’ I ask them.

Jackson sniggers, shaking his head, while my dad just continues to smile. ‘It’s nothing.’ He turns forward and moves with the line. We’re almost there. ‘How’s Kayden doing?’

‘Good. But how’d you know I was texting him?’ I wonder, pulling my hood over my head as the wind picks up.

‘Because you have that lovesick, puppy dog look in your eyes,’ Jackson says smugly as we finally, FINALLY make it into the store.

‘I do not,’ I protest as another text comes through my phone. I have to keep my elbows tucked in while I type just to avoid getting slammed into.

Kayden: U still there.

Me: Yeah, my dad and Jackson interrupted. Sorry.

Kayden: So other than shopping, how’s your day going?

My dad takes one look at the congested aisles and then gives a loud clap of his hands. ‘All right, who’s ready for this?’ When neither Jackson nor I respond, he claps his hands again then leans down like we’re in a huddle. ‘All right, Jackson. You go up the left aisle and to the back to get the bulbs. Callie, I’m out of staples, too, so you go right, go about halfway to the back of the store then make another right. I’ll go get in line and save us a spot so we’re not waiting all day.’ He claps his hands for a third time then says, ‘Break.’

Jackson and I trade an oh-my-God look because we’re so used to this. Growing up with a father who’s a high school football coach, everything’s about the game. Still, we head off to our designated areas, splitting apart and shoving our way through the crazed shoppers. As I make my way to the aisle, I text Kayden back.

Me: Good. Nothing too exciting is going on. Well, except for the fact that my dad just made Jackson and I huddle up so he could give as a play by play of how we were going to get through the store.

Kayden: Must be the coach in him.

Me: I guess so. Or that he’s just getting crazier with old age.

Kayden: God, I wish I could be there. I miss u so fucking bad.

Me: I miss you, too. Is everything ok?

Kayden: Yeah. Actually things are good. Liz ended up burning the dinner, but we ate at this really nice place. And Dylan and I have been talking a lot. I even got to see Tyler for a day and he seemed a lot better.

Me: What about your parents? Have u heard anything more?

It takes him a little while to answer. And by the time the text comes through, I’ve made it to the shelf with a small selection of staples on it.

Kayden: Yeah. Dylan talked to my mom a little bit yesterday. My dad’s in really bad shape. Not sure if he’s going to make it. My mother’s still not saying how he got there in the first place. But I found out they’re in North Carolina.

I’m shocked. Not going to make it? Oh my God, how do I even respond to that? Normally, I’d feel really sorry, but I know from the conversation I had with Kayden in the car, his feelings about all this are buried in confusion created by years of physical abuse.

Me: I’m so sorry. Do u want me to call u when I get out of the store?

I grab a box of staples and turn to leave the aisle, ready to get out of there so I can hear well enough to call Kayden and make sure he’s doing okay. I’m distracted by my phone, not paying attention to where I’m going, and I end up slamming into someone.




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