“Well, I don’t really have a choice anymore,” he says, gripping the doorknob as Cole continues to knock on the door from the other side, chewing Luke out. “I have to go now, but I probably wouldn’t have let you go anyway.”
I give him a dirty look. “Let me go? Seriously? What is this? 1950?”
“No, I just care about you too much.”
I get out of bed and cross the room to him, noting he looks a little pale again. I saw him give himself another injection this morning, so hopefully it’ll help with his paleness and exhaustion. I don’t know enough about diabetes though to know for sure. I’m starting to worry more and more though. I’ve seen him so drunk once that he needed my help checking his blood sugar and giving him pills.
“Fine, I’ll let you make me stay here,” I say, which gets him to smile. “Now go win big.” I press my lips to his, giving him a quick kiss, then pat his ass. “That is how they do it on the football field, right?”
He shakes his head, trying not to laugh at me. “Please stay out of trouble,” he says as he turns the doorknob.
Rolling my eyes, I give him a salute. “Yes, boss.”
A thoughtful look rises on his face. “You should start calling me that more. I like it,” he says and as I shake my head, and playfully pinch his side. He laughs and opens the door all the way.
Cole is standing there with his arms folded, looking annoyed, mad, and drunk, amongst other things. “I know I seem cool and everything,” he says to Luke sternly. “But not with this. If I get you connections, you better follow through or else I’ll drop you.”
I can tell it irks Luke, and he probably has to bite his tongue really hard to stay calm. “Well, I’m ready now, so lets get going.”
Cole glares at him then glances over his shoulder at me. “Ryler’s staying if you want to go hangout downstairs with him.”
I nod while Luke scowls at Cole. “I’ll get dressed and head down.” Then I wave at Luke and shut the door before he can freak out more.
I get dressed in a tank top and jeans, wishing I’d brought shorts, but didn’t think it’d be this hot. Then I go downstairs to see if I can stomach any sort of food. I haven’t had too many hangovers in my life, but I’m learning quickly that it makes my stomach super queasy.
When I get downstairs, Ryler is sitting at the kitchen table, eating a sandwich, music playing in the background as he plays a game of solitaire. He seems really into it, twisting around one of his eyebrow piercings, lost in deep thought. When he notices me, he fights back a grin. Feeling better?
I sigh and make my way over to the table. “Yeah, sorry about last night. I get a little intense when I’m drunk.”
You were fine. He flips a card over and then studies his next move. Amusing more than anything.
“Well, I’m glad you think so,” I say, then point to his plate. “Mind if I make one for myself?”
He nods, setting the cards aside and getting up. I’ll make you one.
I shake my head and motion for him to sit back down. “Thanks, but I’m good.” I open the fridge. “I’m totally self-sufficient.”
Yeah, I can kind of see that. He picks up the deck, but then looks like he wants to tell me something as I get out the mayo, lunchmeat, and cheese. Finally, he puts the deck of cards back down. So how did you learn sign language? I tense and he must see it to because he adds, You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.
“No, it’s okay… I guess.” I grab some bread from the loaf on the counter and a paper plate. “I learned it from one of my foster brothers.” I don’t look at him, not wanting to see his face when I reveal that I’m parentless, and keep my attention on making my sandwich. Mayo on bread, meat, cheese, topped off with more bread and done. When I finally turn around with the sandwich in my hand, I discover he’s staring at me.
And then his hands move in front of him. I grew up in foster homes too.
I’m in mid-bite and it’s a good excuse not to respond right away, but really I’m trying to pull myself together. This is a heavy subject, which I don’t like to talk about—my time spent being passed between families. “How come?” I finally ask after I swallow the bite and sit down at the table.
Parents couldn’t take care of me. It’s signed so casually but I can see the pain emitting from his eyes.
“But you’re with your dad now?” I pick some of the crust off the bread.
I know, but he didn’t want me until I was eighteen and could pretty much take care of myself.
I feel bad for him. I lost my parents and was forced to live with other people. Ryler’s parents gave him away by choice. “What about your mom?”
He shrugs. Lets just say she was never ready to be a mom… then again, quite honestly, I still don’t think my dad even is ready to be a parent right now. He acts like a kid sometimes and is hard to trust… sometimes I feel like the parent. He pauses, shaking his head at his own thoughts. What about you? Where are your parents?
I hesitate. God, how the hell did I end up in this conversation? “They died when I was five…” My voice cracks and I clear my throat.
I’m so sorry.
I shake it off and look for a subject change, getting so sick of hearing the word sorry. I know people mean well, but it doesn’t change anything. “I like this song,” I say, nodding at the iPod.
He gives me a questioning looking, noting my need to change the subject, but lets it go. Yeah, Taking Back Sunday is a good band. Great live too.
“I saw them once a couple of years ago,” I say and take another bite of the sandwich. “It was super badass.”
We continue on about our favorite bands, but my lips are moving almost robotically, my parents taking up most of my thoughts. I just keep thinking about what it would be like if I ended up with them again, like Ryler with his dad? Of course that can never happen, but sometimes it’s good pretending, like I did for the first year or so after they died. It’s actually the first time I’ve really thought about them without freaking out. Add the light conversation with Ryler and things are going pretty good. That is until my phone starts vibrating madly inside my pocket. There must have been a delay when the battery died because a stream of text messages comes pouring in, times varying from last night to only hours ago.
Unknown: Been thinking about u a lot and how badly I want to hurt you.