They burned the offensive bicycle in the courtyard of the palace,

ceremoniously, too, and the princess had witnessed this solemn _auto da

fé_ from her barred window. It is no strain upon the imagination to

conjure up the picture of her fine rage, her threatening hands, her

compressed lips, her tearless, flashing eyes, as she saw her beautiful

new wheel writhe and twist on the blazing fagots. But what the deuce

was a poor duke to do with a niece like this?

For a time I feared that the United States and the Grand Duchy of

Barscheit would sever diplomatic relations. The bicycle was,

unfortunately, of American make, and the manufacturers wrote to me

personally that they considered themselves grossly insulted over the

action of the duke. Diplomatic notes were exchanged, and I finally

prevailed upon the duke to state that he held the wheel harmless and

that his anger had been directed solely against his niece. This letter

was duly forwarded to the manufacturers, who, after the manner of their

kind, carefully altered the phrasing and used it in their magazine

advertisements. They were so far appeased that they offered me my

selection from the private stock. Happily the duke never read anything

but the _Fliegende Blätter_ and _Jugend_, and thus war was averted.

Later an automobile agent visited the town--at the secret bidding of

her Highness--but he was so unceremoniously hustled over the frontier

that his teeth must have rattled like a dancer's castanets. It was a

great country for expeditiousness, as you will find, if you do me the

honor to follow me to the end.

So the grand duke swore that his niece should wed Doppelkinn, and the

princess vowed that she would not. The man who had charge of my horses

said that one of the palace maids had recounted to him a dialogue which

had taken place between the duke and his niece. As I was anxious to be

off on the road I was compelled to listen to his gossip.

THE GRAND DUKE--In two months' time you shall wed the Prince of

Doppelkinn.

THE PRINCESS--What! that old red-nose? Never! I shall marry only

where I love.

THE GRAND DUKE--Only where you love! (_Sneers_.) One would think, to

hear you talk, that you were capable of loving something.

THE PRINCESS--You have yet to learn. I warn you not to force me. I

promise to do something scandalous. I will marry one of the people--a

man.

THE GRAND DUKE--Bah! (_Swears softly on his way down to the stables_.)

But the princess had in her mind a plan which, had it gone through

safely, would have added many grey hairs to the duke's scanty

collection. It was a mighty ingenious plan, too, for a woman to figure

out.




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