Of course, inreality his mount probably wouldn'ttake well to suchgoings-onand would no doubtrear up and dump them both in the dirt. Butthen, in realityhis hands werebandaged stumpsandhe couldn't doanyof it anyway... whichwas something he resented mightily.
The firehadnot justinjured his hands and taken his clothes, it had robbed him of a wedding night... and every night since. Paenwas sure hewould have given hiswife a good "seeingto"every chance he'd gotten were he not injured. Certainly, his lower bodyshowed interest every time hewas near her. It no longer seemed tohelp that he avoided being nearher atnight,sleeping by the fire with themen rather than in the tentwithhernaked and sotemptingly near, yet as untouchable as a nun thanksto the state ofhis hands.
If hecould,Paen wouldmakeherride her own horse, butit was his place to train herin the areasshe waslacking. Although it did seem to him that she was a natural at horse riding, sheclaimed to not be confident enough inher skillsto ride alone. That being thecase, he saw it as hisduty to keep her on hismountuntilshe feltmoresure of herself. Having learned thehardway thatshe was accidentprone,Paenwasn't taking anyunnecessarychances.
"What should Italk about?" Avelyn asked,distracting Paen fromhis thoughts.
"It matters little, just speak," Paen said. "Tell me what it was like growingup at Straughton. "Paen wanted to know what she had been trained in. Riding was a skill most ladies wouldhave, and he thought it best toknow whathe was up againstand whathe would need to see her trained in.
"Oh, well," Avelyn said, then launched into a ramblingspeech. Paensoon realized thathe should havebeenmore specific and simplyaskedwhatshe'dbeen taught, for his wife did tendtolike the soundof her own voice. Despite her obvious exhaustion, she hadtalked nonstop yesterday on the last day oftheir journey to Hargrove,and now to-day, the first of theirtwo-dayjourney home, she continued chattering. Not thathe really minded. In that time he had learneda lot about his wife. He was getting a ratherthoroughpictureof who shewas, ofherfamily and childhood.
Probablymore thorough than she realized, Paen thought. Avelyn did not say a cross wordabouther cousins. She did nottellhim theytaunted her and madeher feel inferior, or that their arrival at Straughton hadbeen a blight on what untilthen had been a perfect childhood, with loving parents, an affectionate brother and a secure home. Shedid notsay a word against them, and yet he saw it. He hadbeen quickto recognizethe trio asresentful andcruel,and hadfound littlepatience for them. Heunderstoodtheirresentmentat having their father,home andinheritance stolen from them,but thought little of their takingit out on Avelyn.
Paensupposedit wasenvy andaninstinctto gofor theweakest member of a group that made them behave so badly. They could not attack theiraunt anduncle the same way,and Warin wouldn't have hesitated tobeat them had theytried this business on him. No doubt he wouldbeat them when he caughtthemtormenting Avelyn,but Paen was equally sure that they never attacked her whenothers might witnessit, and that Avelynwould never tattle on them. Her refusal to carry tales was an honorable choice, but had left herundefended against theirverbal attacks onher self-esteem.
By thetime Avelyn finished bathing and was safely out of the water dressing herself, Paenhad cometo the conclusionthat what he neededto teach his wife was her own value. He was also quitesure that he had notgottensuch aninept bride as he'd thought. Parentsas loving and caring ashers appeared to bewould notsend their daughter out into the world without the skills she'd need to carry on successfullyin life.
Paen suspected that Avelyn's clumsiness and apparent ineptitude were really just a result of herlow-esteem and awkwardnesswith him... justas David's tendencyto trip overhis own feet was a result ofnervousness and an eagernesstoplease.
Given timeand proper tending, Paenwas surehe would have himself the perfect wife.
"Iam ready, husband. "
Paen glanceddown at her andfound himself smiling. She was dressed inanother unattractive, overlarge and dark gown,and her hair was dampand scraped back harshly from her face. Still, herbeauty showed through to him. Her eyes werehuge and alight with goodhumor and kind-heartedness, andher mouth curved in agentle smile.
His parents haddonewell, Paendecided. He was pleased withthe bride they'd chosen for him. He thought he might even come to develop affection for her someday. For now, it was enough thatheliked her. It was good to likeawife. It made it easier to spenda lifetime with her.
Realizing he was standingthere grinning like an idiot,Paen did hisbesttowipe the smilefrom his face and gesturedforher to move ahead of him to the path backto camp. As theywalked, he considered ways he mightbolster her selfesteem. If she werehis horse, he'd feed her anapple every once in a while and pat her on the rump.
If she were his squire,he'dgive her ahearty pat on the back and a"well done. " Paen hadnoidea,though, how to bolster a wife.
"Oh, no!What - ?"
Avelyn's startled cry drewhim from hismusings. He started to ask what had upset her so,but she wasalready rushing toward their tent. Paen followed,noticing thata crowd had gathered around the smoking tent.
Cursing, he broke intoa run, chasingafter Avelynas she pushed her way through the crowd.
"Wife!"He caught her armto try tostop heras she started to duck into the tent, recalling hisbandaged hands only when his linenstump slid uselessly offherarm.
Cursing, he ducked intothe tent after her.
"'Tis all right," his mother said as she turnedfrom surveying the damage. "No onewas hurt, and that is the most important thing. "
"Aye," his father agreed, moving quicklytohis side.
Judgingby the mournful cryas Avelynstared at the charred remains ofthe furs, Paen guessed shedidn't agree.
"What happened?" he asked grimly.
"It looks asif acandle set the fursalight," his father admitted reluctantly.
Paen immediately glared at his wife and growled, "I told you it was too close to the furs. I also told you to blow it out before comingwithme. "
"Idid!" she cried. "I didblow itout. "
"Obviously not," he snapped. "No doubt youwere in a rushand justgave it a goodblow, then came after mewithoutwaiting to see that it was out. "
Avelyn's shoulders saggedin defeat. "Youareright,husband. That mustbewhat happened. Thisis all my fault. "
Paen frowned at her reaction; she sounded heartbroken, and huge tears were rolling down hercheeks. It was damned hard to give hera dressing-downfor this latest catastrophe when sheappeared sobeaten.
Sighing, he shifted on his feet andmuttered, "Well, 'tis justa bunchof furs. No onewas hurtandnothingimportantwas damaged. "
"Nothing important," Avelyn echoed, then,much to hisbewilderment, droppedto herknees and burst into greatnoisy sobs.
Paen was more thanrelievedwhen his mother shooed him and his fatherout of thetent, assuring themshewould tendto Avelyn. He hadn't a clue whatto do for her. It was obviousshe'd grownanattachmentto the fur bed - thatwas the only thing he could think of. Her chest was at the oppositeend of the tentand untouched by the fire. It was only the furs thathad suffered. Apparently, someone had noted the firebefore it spread far. Even the tent itself was undamaged.
Aye, it mustbe the furs she was upset about, Paen decided, and determinedto get awhole passelof them for her when they reachedGerville castle. He'd have them arranged in frontof thefireplacefor her so shecould lieonthem whenevershe liked.
In fact,he would join her there. The ideawasappealing - relaxing beforea roaring fire on a chill winter evening, drinking mulledcider.
No, no cider, hedecided. Avelynwouldprobably spill itdownher dress. Taking thecider away might affect her self-esteem, though, andmake her think he believed her clumsybeyond redemption. Perhaps if he gother naked first and then gaveher mulled cider beforetheroaring fireon the furs?Aye, thatwould work, he decided, smiling at the image. Avelynnaked, a goblet of mulled cider in her hand. He wouldn't even mind ifshe did spill itthen. He would simplylean forward and lick it off of her.
Now, that was an idea. Licking cider off ofher full roundbreasts,letting his tongue curl around her nipples, coaxingthem erect, then - "What the hell are yesmiling about?Yerwife just setyourbed on fire," his father snapped.
"Aye, she did. "Paen'ssmile widened, thenhe caught himself and managedto dampenhis expression.
" 'Tis sorry I am, son. Avelyn is a nice enough girl, but she does seem proneto calamity. IfI had realized - "
"She is fine. Thereis no need to apologize. I amwell pleased with her to wife. "
"What?" Wimarc Gervillestared athimwithamazement. "Didshe knock you over so ye hityour head while the two of youweredown by the river?"
"No, of course not. "Paen scowledat the suggestion.
"Well, somethinghas happened," his father said. "You've donelittle butfretand worry that she is sickly andineptsince first seeing her. And now, when she has burned yourbed to a pile of ash, you are 'well pleasedwith herto wife'?"
Paen frowned attheolderman inirritation,but didn't arguethepoint. Instead, he calledhis new squire tohim and headed for the riverto bathe andconsider ways he might start work on hiswife'sself-esteem.
"Avelyn,my dear. Please do not take on so. " Lady Gerville knelt beside herand wrapped her arms aroundher.
Avelyntriedto stop weeping,butcouldn'tseem to helpit. She simply sagged againstthe woman and sobbed her heartout. She wasexhaustedfrom lack ofsleep, and really, this was just too much. Everything hadgone wrong since the wedding, absolutelyeverything. Thisburning of the furs was justthe final straw.
Avelyn had counted on the tunic and braes repairing much of her husband's mistaken opinion of her. She couldn't tell him thatshe could ride, orthat shewasn't presently proneto misfortune - for clearly she was - but giving him thetunicand braes wouldhave shown at least one ofher skillsin a good light. It also would have given herthe opportunity to let him know that she wasn't normally sowearyand sickly. She could haveexplained thatshe was exhausted during the daybecause she had been working nights on his clothes. On top of allthat, she'd workedso hard, andall that workhadbeenruined in a moment of inattention. Avelyn had thought the candle was outandeven had avaguememory of the small curl of smokecoming off it, butapparently she'd been wrong.
"Avelyn, dear," Lady Gerville almost moaned as she rocked her in her arms.
"Surelythis isnot aboutthe furs. They arereplaceable. "
Avelyn shook her head against the woman's chest. Her tears were finally slowing, but she was in no state to talk.
"What is it, then, child? Is it that you fear Paen willjust see this as another example of your clumsinessandineptitude?"
Avelyn paused, then burstinto loud sobsagain.
LadyGerville gave up tryingtosoothe her for a while and simplyrocked her like a child. When her crying finally slowed to sniffles and hiccoughsand Avelyn finally pulled free to hold herselfupright, Lady Gerville took her hand and patted it as she waited forhertospeak.
"Do you think youcan tell menow?" she asked after another moment had passed.
Avelynnoddedwearily, but merely sat staringwith dejection at the smoldering remains of the bed.
"Would you likea drinkfirst?" Lady Gerville prompted. "I could call Runildaand have her fetch some mead. "
Avelyn shook her head.
Another moment of silence passed; then Lady Gerville opened her mouth to speak again, butAvelyn blurtedout, "I have beensewing new braes anda tunic for Paen. "
Lady Gerville relaxed andpatted her hand. "Aye, dear. I know,"she said,then explained, "I was fretting over your being so exhausted all the time and Sely mentioned it to your maid. Runilda told her totell me not to fret,that you were staying up well intothe night, sewing newclothesfor Paen. " She pattedher hand again. "Runilda said tonight that they were nearly done. "
"They were," Avelyn admitted,and muchto her consternation, fresh tears began toroll downhercheeks.
"Were?" Lady Gerville asked with the beginnings of dread inhervoice.
Avelyn nodded. "I was working on them whenPaen came to fetch meto goto the river. I set themaside on the furs, blew at the candle,thenhurried after him. " She shook her head miserably. "I thoughtthe candlewas out. Idid notreally wait to see, but Ijust assumed - "
"You mean they went up with the furs?" Lady Gervilleaskedwithhorror.
Avelyn nodded.
"Oh,you poor child!" Paen's mother drew her into herarmsagain, but Avelyn seemed to bemostlyout oftears. Shedid manageone gaspingsob, but that was it.
The wellwas dry. She'dcried herselfout.
They satin silence for severalminutes,but Lady Gerville seemed to be at a loss as to what to sayto make the situation better. She just kept murmuring "poor child"
over andover,and Avelyn supposed therereally wasn't anything that couldbe said tomakeherfeel better atthatpoint. She was exhausted. Depressed anddefeated. All she really wantedtodo was sleep.
Just then Selyduckedinsidecarrying a couple of furs.
"LordGerville hadmebringtheseover,"she explained, then glanced behindher and stepped outof the way toallow Runilda toenter. Avelyn's maid was followed byfourmen.
"Lord Gerville sentthe men toremove the burned furs," Runildasaid. Avelyn knew that whileSely was referringto Paen's father whenshesaid "Lord Gerville,"
Runildawasreferring to Paen himself as Lord Gerville. Forsome reason, the fact thatboth were Lord Gerville madean almosthysterical giggle slip from her throat.
Lady Gerville lookedher over withconcern. "Come, let us get out of theway, dear, so they canwork. "
Avelyn allowedLadyGerville tohelp her to herfeet, and movedto the corner of the tent withthe olderwoman as the men began to drag the damaged furs out.