Colin jerked his head toward the door, letting Tiffany know it was time to leave, and the bravado she'd felt just minutes earlier evaporated.
Soon she'd be in the car with him alone. And then they'd be inside their upper-middle-class home, in their seemingly peaceful neighborhood, located in the newest part of one of the safest suburbs in Sacramento.
And she already knew that anything could happen behind that perfect facade.
"So now you're Sheryl's best friend?" Colin asked as he drove them home.
Tiffany didn't answer. She stared straight ahead as if she expected a severe punishment. She deserved one--another session with the collar and whip, at least. But there was still a hint of defiance in the lines of her body, and that made Colin less angry than worried. He'd taken for granted that Tiffany would side with him regardless of what he said or did, support him in anything. She had in the past, hadn't she? She'd let him kidnap and torture four kids.
Yet, after going along with that, she'd just taken a stand against him.
Because of Paddy. She could forgive him for the pets. She'd never liked that part of their life together, but she was willing to tolerate it because it wasn't personal. She didn't expect Colin to care about kids he didn't know, kids neither of them had any attachment to. But she did expect him to care about Paddy. That he could kill his own father so easily and feel no remorse frightened her.
Deep inside him, it frightened Colin, too. He wasn't sure why he didn't feel what other people felt; it made him wonder if his mother had been right about him. He'd spent his entire life trying to prove to her and the rest of the world that he was as bright as anyone, as capable as anyone, as productive as anyone. And yet he couldn't really care if he didn't.
Tiffany understood that lack of caring now. She finally saw what his mother had recognized when he was young, what his father had refused to believe until the very end. And Colin knew where it would lead. She'd begin to doubt his love for her, and that was the one bond that kept her with him.
"Are you going to answer me?" he asked.
She adjusted her seat belt. "I just feel sorry for her, that's all."
"And you think I don't?"
She turned toward him. "You didn't act like it."
He could almost read the questions in her mind as she studied him.
"Because this isn't easy for me, either." Reaching over, he took her hand.
She jerked in surprise, as if the pleading quality in his voice couldn't be trusted and she expected him to hurt her in some way. But he merely ran his fingers over her soft skin.
"Do you think I really want to face the truth?" he asked. "Paddy was my father, Tiff. I'll never get to see him again--and I'm responsible for that."
He tried to conjure up a few tears, but it was no use. They weren't there. He hoped the tortured expression on his face would be convincing enough. "I mean, I'm not inhuman. Sure it's painful for Sheryl. She'll miss Paddy. So will you. I feel terrible about that. But neither of you will have to live with what I have to live with, right?"
She frowned at their entwined hands. "You shouldn't have done it."
"We've been over this. I didn't have any choice. Would you rather have lost him--or me? That's what it came down to. He would've turned us in, Tiff. We would've gone to prison. I did it to protect you, to protect us both."
She blinked repeatedly. "This has been such a horrible week."
"I know. I haven't been myself. Especially today. I'm sorry. I just...I don't want to deal with the pain of what happened to Paddy. I don't want to accept it. It's easier to be flip and...and angry that it had to happen at all."
"I can understand that," she said, softening.
"How would you feel if you were me?" he asked.
She grimaced.
"Exactly. I'm in hell, so if I seem hard-hearted, please allow me a little denial."
Giving him a sympathetic look, she took his hand and kissed it. "We'll be okay," she said. "Somehow, we'll get through this."
The terrible tightness that'd made it difficult to breathe since they'd gotten in the car began to ease. "I'm so lucky I have you. You can get me through any tragedy."
"That's what a wife's for."
"For better and for worse."
She rubbed his hand against her cheek. "That's right."
He felt something. He hoped it was more than relief. "I have a present for you."
"You do?"
"For Mother's Day and to make up for...Zoe and Paddy."
Her mood visibly improved. She even squeezed his hand for reassurance. "What is it?"
"Remember that diamond ring you wanted?"
Her eyes widened. "Yes?"
"I'm going to buy it for you."
"You are?" she breathed.
"Yep. Tonight."
"But it's five thousand dollars, Colin! We can't spend that kind of money."
"Hey, you married a successful attorney, babe. I can afford to buy my wife an expensive present now and then."
"But it'll have to go on credit."
"Don't worry about it. Soon I'll be making a lot more than I'm making now."
Her smile grew wider than he'd seen it in a long time, and the pain in his chest went away altogether. He had her right back where he wanted her; she wasn't going anywhere.
"Everyone at work will be so jealous."
"They should know you're special." He put down the top of his convertible and smiled as the warm afternoon breeze ruffled his hair. It made him feel carefree. And why not feel that way? Nothing had significantly changed. Paddy was gone, but they could live without him. They had it all.
But then a call came in on his cell--and because the only person he wanted to hear from was sitting beside him, he felt a strong reluctance to even check it.
"Is that your phone?" Tiffany asked when he made no move to retrieve it from his pocket.
"Yeah." With a sigh, he brought it into the light.
"Who is it?" The tone of her voice suggested she'd already noticed the change in his expression.
"I don't recognize the number, but..."
"What?"
"It's long-distance, with a Los Angeles area code."
"Then it's got to be your mother."
That was his guess, too. The last time Paddy had talked to Colin's sister, Courtney had been living down south. It was a no-brainer that Tina wouldn't be far away. They'd stuck together all along.
Tiffany bit her lip. "Do you think she expected you to call her today?"
"I doubt it. I haven't called her in years."