Earlier, after the bombshell, my father had moved on to inquiring politely about how my family was doing. I, in turn, asked him about his plans for the summer. Safe and easy topics for all of us as we ate our food, with the booths, bar, and tables filling up all around us. When we got the check, the restaurant was packed and noisy, with a crowd of people waiting to be seated.
“Wow,” my father said as we wound through the mob to the front door. “This is a popular place.”
“High season,” I replied. “Everything’s crowded.”
I was right behind him, with Benji holding my hand, Luke bringing up the rear. I’d been so worried about how dinner would go and whether it would be awkward, but once my father told me about the separation I couldn’t think about anything else. Why did I have to know something about Benji’s life that he didn’t? Not the position I wanted to be in, even before he’d attached himself to my side. Maybe it was my father’s way of apologizing to me about everything that had happened, without actually doing it: he could dodge that obligation, as well. I wished, yet again, that things with him could just be clear cut. But none of this was my choice anyway.
Once in the parking lot, he pulled out his keys. “Well, I suppose we should be on our way to North Reddemane. We’ve paid to have the house cleaned since the renters left, but there’s no telling what kind of state we’ll actually find it in.”
“Renters are hell on houses,” Luke said, as Benji skipped beside me in that awkward, bouncy, little-kid way.
“Is that so,” my father said.
“According to Emaline’s grandmother, anyway.” Luke pulled out his keys and started jingling them as his truck came into sight. Seriously, it was like a reflex with him. “Most likely it’s nothing you can’t fix up yourself, though.”
“I don’t know about that,” my father said. “I’m not exactly handy.”
I saw Luke give him a look, slightly pitying. It’s one I never would have expected a couple of hours earlier, when this evening began. Then, he and Theo were the experts, and Luke stuck out. But here, now, it was reversed, and I suddenly saw my father the way I realized my boyfriend had from the beginning, like he was the one who should be embarrassed. Which, in turn, embarrassed me. Apparently, I was responsible for everyone now.
“Nice to meet you,” Luke told him, extending a hand. My father shook it. “And thanks for dinner.”
“Of course.”
“Are you coming back to the house with us?” Benji asked me.
“Um,” I said, glancing at Luke, “I don’t think so. Not tonight, anyway.”
“Emaline’s got her own life,” my father said. “She was very kind to meet us on such short notice.”
Benji looked at me, his eyes squinty in the setting sun. He was more my sibling than Amber or Margo, at least if you went by genetics. But I didn’t know him at all.
“I’ll see you soon,” I told him. “We’ll go play minigolf, or something.”
“Yeah?” he said, excited. “That would be so cool!”
“Watch this one with a golf club,” Luke told him, cocking a finger at me. “She’s lethal.”
“That was just one time,” I said.
Benji’s eyes widened. “What happened?”
I looked at Luke. “I kind of nailed him on the forehead on the windmill hole.”
“Hit one of the spokes and shot right back at me,” he added, ever cheerfully. He stuck a finger in the center of his tanned forehead. “Had a circle mark here for weeks.”
Benji laughed, because of course this was just the kind of thing ten-year-olds loved to hear about. My father forced a smile. “All right, buddy,” he said. “Let’s get going.”
“Okay.” Benji crossed over to where my father was standing, leaving us in two separate camps. The natural order, resumed. “See you guys later.”
“Count on it,” Luke said.
“Drive safe,” I added. And then, finally, it was over. It had only been an hour and a half, but I was exhausted. I could feel it in my bones.
Even so, after a few steps, I turned back and looked at them again. Benji had run out ahead to the Subaru, my father walking behind him slowly, almost heavily. As I watched, he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Check the doorknobs,” I called out.
He turned around. “What?”
I cleared my throat. “The doorknobs. They get the most wear and tear in a rental. Especially any onto the beach side. You don’t want them falling off and locking you out.”
He just looked at me for a moment, and I wondered why I was even telling him this. In the distance, Benji was lifting his arms to the breeze coming off the causeway, his hair blowing back from his face.
“Okay,” my father said. “Thanks.”
I nodded, then started back towards my car, where Luke was waiting for me. Doorknobs? I was thinking. Really? And yet it wasn’t like I was proficient in his language, had any idea how to speak to him. You stick with what you know.
Now, back at the Tip, Morris picked up his beer again. “It’s not your problem,” he told me.
I looked at him. “What isn’t?”
“His marriage. Or his relationship with his kid.” He took a sip, then swallowed. “Any of it.”
Morris might have been dense. Okay, Morris was dense, most of the time. But just about when I was totally ready to give up on him, he’d say something out of nowhere that surprised me. And, even more surprisingly, helped.