I’m wearing the pink dress and ridiculously pretty blue heels that Simone forced me to buy earlier, and I’m already regretting the shoes, my feet are bloody killing me. Why don’t I ever learn that pretty does not equal comfy.
I prop my butt up against the wall and bend over, slipping my foot out of the shoe, I rub my sore instep with my hand.
When I glance up I see a pair of black Converses approaching me.
Eyes up to the black jeans, reaching the sleeveless, vintage ’94 Nine Inch Nails ‘Downwards Spiral’ T-shirt, with a guitar strapped pressed tight across it, the instantly recognisable tattoos on full show, to finally meet with Jake’s face.
He looks amazing. Beautiful. Just like the rock star he is. And was always meant to be.
I slip my foot back into my shoe. Nerves instantly encompass me, encapsulating me.
“You should learn to wear sensible shoes.” He nods down at my feet.
“I should.”
“Then again, if you did, I’d have never have got to carry you into the hotel that night.” His tone is low, intimate, and his eyes meet mine intensely.
Nerve endings fire sparks out into my body, causing an intense rush of want and need for him.
Looking down, I break our stare.
“So … uh … Denny said you’re leaving straight after the show.” He takes another step closer to me.
We’re only a foot apart now. I want to reach out and touch him more than anything. But I can’t.
“Yes.” I tuck my hair behind my ear. “Sorry I can’t make the after show party. I have to get back home – work you know – and my flights booked so…”
“Sure, yeah, of course, I understand.” He pushes his hand through this hair.
I meet his eyes, and I can see the blatant disharmony in them.
“So will I see you after the show? Before you leave,” he asks.
“Yes.”
That’s a lie. I won’t be here when he comes off stage. I’m going to leave during the encore. Everyone’s at their highest at that point, so I’ll be able to slip away without being noticed.
I said goodbye to Jake once. Twice is just too much.
“Okay, so I’ll see you after the show then,” he smiles, his mood seemingly picking up.
“Yeah … looks like you’re up.” I nod in the direction of the roadie who is waiting to hook his guitar up.
Jake gives me a rueful smile. It almost breaks me on the spot.
Reluctantly, he turns to go.
“Jake?”
Stopping, he turns back, slipping his guitar around to the front.
“Have a great show,” I smile.
“I will … and Tru.” He takes a step forward, back to me. “You look beautiful in those shoes … and that dress, but then you look beautiful in anything.”
Then he’s gone, readying himself to perform to his adoring New York fans, unknowingly taking my heart with him.
Chapter Thirty
Jake is performing better than his last few shows, maybe that’s because I’m here, or maybe it’s because New York was his home for a time. I’m not sure. But because he’s better, the guys are better and the band as a whole is on fire, and the crowd sure are feeling it.
I’m happy for him, for all of them that this tour is going out on a high, and I’m so glad I’m here to see it.
It’s nearly two hours into the show and I know it’s soon coming to an end. Which means it’s almost time for me to go.
A part of me is struggling with the decision. A big part.
Simone and I are standing off stage in the left wing with Stuart so we have clear view of the guys, but all I’m looking at is Jake.
It’s all I’ve done for the whole show. It’s impossible not to.
But he hasn’t once looked, or even glanced in my direction.
Whether that’s a deliberate thing or he’s just so caught up in the show, I’m not sure.
Stuart beside me, puts his hand to his jacket pocket, feeling for his phone. He pulls it out, glances at the screen and taking the call, puts his finger in his ear and disappears off stage.
With Stuart gone, I move closer to Simone, linking my arm through hers, to continue watching the show.
I glance at her face. She’s all bright eyed watching Denny on stage.
I feel a pang of pure envy. I wish Jake and I were still like they are.
A minute later I feel a hand tap me on the shoulder. I turn and see it’s Stuart. He jerks his head to the side, signalling for me to follow him.
I slip my arm from Simone’s and follow him off stage and down the steps.
Stuart leads me down a corridor where it’s quiet. He does a quick look around making sure we’re alone. “I just got a call advising me that the girl, Kaitlyn, will be officially withdrawing her story about Jake.”
“What?!” I’m surprised. No scrap that, I’m stunned.
“She’s admitting she lied about sleeping with Jake.”
“And why would she all of a sudden do that?” I give him a suspicious look.
Stuart shrugs.
My spidey sense kicks in. “Stuart, do you have something to do with this?”
He purses his lips. I can see considering in his eyes, which immediately tells me he did.
“Maybe,” he utters.
I smile at him, shaking my head, relief filling me. Even though I figured Jake was telling the truth, to hear it from Stuart, well from the horse’s mouth, is such a weight off my mind knowing Jake has been telling the truth all along.
“How did you get her to fess up?” I question him.
He grins. “Let’s just say I can be very persuasive when I want to be.”
“Stuart…?” I press.
Letting out a breath, he says, “I went to see Kaitlyn at her home. Jake doesn’t know this, and don’t you tell him either.”
“And she agreed to see you?”
“Well, I turned up on her doorstep under the guise of been a reporter. Once I was in her house I told her who I really was, and there wasn’t much she could do about it then. She wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t going anywhere until she listened to what I had to say. She needed to hear what this was doing to Jake … to both of you.”
My chest starts to feel tight at the memory of this last week. Of Jake being in pain.
“And she listened?”
“Yes. She might be money hungry, Tru, but she’s not a bad person. And that’s what it was all about – money. She’s desperate for cash. The reason … well, she has asked me to keep private, and I can’t break that promise. But that night with Jake, she saw an opportunity and she took it. Knowing what I do, I figure I’d have done the same. So I offered her what she needs in return for her to tell the truth. The deal was that she’d retract her story, publically clearing Jake of any wrong doing. She said she needed time to think it over. I gave her my number and told her if she decided to do the right thing then to call me. That was her on the phone just then. She’s going to issue a statement tomorrow telling the truth.”
“That’s brave of her knowing the shit she’s going to get from the public.”
“It’s surprising what people will do for their children.” I can tell the instant he says it, he knew he shouldn’t have.
My eyebrows go up. “She has a kid? She only looked like a kid herself.”
He sighs in on himself. “She’s twenty. And an old twenty at that. Her kid is sick, really sick. The dad’s not around. She has no family, and she needs money to pay the hospital bills.” He glances around. “I’m telling you this because I know I can trust you.”
I touch his arm. “You can.”
And then it’s suddenly very hard to hate her when I know she was only doing this for her sick kid.
“Is there anything I can do to help her?”
He looks at me surprised. “She’s made your life hell this last week, and you’re asking if you can help her? You will never cease to amaze me, chica.”
I shrug. “My mum and dad raised me to care for others in need, no matter the cost.”
“That’s some good folks you have there. And thinking on that, there’s someone out there who could do with a touch of your caring nature right now.” He tilts his head in the direction of the hidden stage.
“I know,” I sigh.
I want to help Jake, I really do. I want him to feel better, but I can’t help him the way he wants. I can’t live this lifestyle with him.
Swallowing back threatening tears, I say, “I think Jake should know what you’ve done to clear this up for him.”
Stuart shakes his head, no. “Right now Jake needs to believe there is good in people, and him finding out it was me sorting out another mess for him won’t do that. Just leave him to believe she changed her mind and came clean.”
Nodding, I see his reasoning.
“How are you going to pay Kaitlyn though? I’m guessing she’ll need a lot of money … I have some I can give to help.”
He chuckles. “Don’t worry, gorgeous. I might be keeping it from Jake, but it doesn’t mean he’s not paying. He still fucked up big time with the drugs, and it was because of that he landed himself in this situation. The money’s coming from him. I’m just going to pass it off as a charity donation.”
“Can you do that?” I laugh.
“Sure I can … because technically it is a charity donation.” He winks.
“Well, Jake might not be able to thank you for what you did, but I can.” I wrap my arms around him, kissing his cheek. “I don’t know what Jake would do without you, or me for that matter.” Leaning back I look into his face. “We’ll always be friends right?”
“Of course, chica.” His brow furrows as he lets out a light sigh. “You’re not getting back together with him are you?”
I step back, needing breathing space. Looking to the floor, I shake my head.
Knowing Jake hasn’t cheated doesn’t fix my real concerns about being with him.
“Whatever reason you have, gorgeous, just know Jake loves you – a lot. So whatever it is – whatever the real problem is, talk to him about it, see if you can’t work through it. The way I see it is you guys are meant to be together, and when it’s a love like yours, then there shouldn’t be anything you can work through.”
Looking up, I meet his eyes. “Okay,” I nod. “Come on, let’s go back, catch the last part of the show.”
Stuart stares at me for a long moment, lips pressed together, assessing me.
He knows I’m fobbing him off, but thankfully he leaves it there, and holds his arm out for me to take.
Linking my arm in through his, I walk back with Stuart to the stage.
I know my heart should feel light now knowing the truth, but it doesn’t, if anything it feels heavier.
We get back to the side of the stage, joining Simone, just as the guys are finishing up. I look over at Jake on stage and all I feel is conflicted.
Suddenly the whole place darkens as the song comes to an end.
The encore is about to start in a few minutes. This is when I promised myself I would leave.