Resting his bottle against his thigh, he looks back over his shoulder, out at the darkened water of the falls for a long moment.
I wonder what’s on his mind?
I’m just about to ask when he speaks. “I almost died last year because of the drugs.” His face is still turned away from me.
My heart freezes solid in my chest. I guess tonight is the night for confessions from him.
“I drowned, and Stuart saved me,” he adds.
“What? When? How?” I’m up on my knees now, putting my bottle down.
Jake turns and looks at me. His gaze is dark and torn. It’s painful to see.
“It was after Japan. I know everyone thinks I went into rehab because of what happened there, but it wasn’t. When I got back to LA, I was worse than ever … I was using – a lot. A few nights after I was back, I was out partying and was, absolutely high off my ass. Dave took me home. He had to carry me out of the club and to the car I was in that much of a state. He wanted to stay with me, but I told him I wanted to be alone – well basically I told him to fuck off. I shouted him out of the house. I treated him like a piece of shit that night, and he didn’t deserve it. I’m lucky he stayed working for me.”
I’m glad he did to, because I think Jake would struggle without him, but I don’t say that.
“Stuart was out, I was alone. I passed out for a while on the sofa. When I woke the drugs had worn off, so I took another hit of coke, and sat out by the pool drinking tequila. Then in my blind wisdom, I decided to get in the pool,” he sighs. “The next thing I know, I’m puking up water, and Stuart is over me, holding me up.”
“He saved my life that day, Tru. I owe him everything. He called 911, kept it out of the papers.” He takes a drink of his beer. “Stuart went absolutely fuckin’ nuts on me at the hospital afterwards though. I’d never seen him like that before.”
“It’s understandable, baby,” I say softly, desperately trying to hold myself together. “If he hadn’t of got there in time … then…” I can’t even say the words. I can’t even bear to think how close he came, it’s scaring the hell out of me.
I gulp back my threatening tears. “And that’s when you went to rehab?” I ask.
He nods. “Stuart threatened to quit unless I sorted myself out. Said he’d watched me destroying myself for far too long … that losing Jonny had been hard on all of us, and he wasn’t going to stay around to watch me die too.”
“What did you say?”
“He’s the best in the business, that’s why he works for me and I couldn’t afford to lose him,” he shrugs. “So I agreed to go to rehab.”
He’s downplaying it. He loves Stuart like a brother, and he knew he was right about rehab.
“No one knows what happened that night, Tru. Not my mom or Tom, not even Denny. There’s only you, Stuart, and the doctors at the hospital who know.”
In this moment I despise Paul. More than I ever knew it possible to hate a dead person.
Jake struggles like he does, because of him.
“You can always trust me with anything, baby.” I touch his face. “I’ll never judge you and I’ll never break your trust, I promise you that. Just please … don’t ever go back there again. Promise me that you’ll never take drugs again.”
He kisses the friendship bracelet on my wrist. “I promise you … so that missing bikini top,” he says, gently pushing me down to the blanket, lying on top of me, he holds my hands above my head.
It’s an obvious attempt at a subject change, and I allow it. Jake sometimes needs sex as a way to rid his mind of his demons. And if that’s what he needs right now, then I’m more than happy to oblige.
“Mmm?” I reply, smiling.
“Well, if I remember right, I’m owed a re-enactment and a few other things too.”
“Well, it just so happens, Pervy Perverson, I have a bikini with me.”
“And that’s why I love you Mrs. P, ‘cause you’re just as pervy as I am,” he grins. “Now get your hot ass into that bikini, so I can slowly take it back off you.”
He climbs up off me, taking my hands, he pulls me to my feet.
Moving away from him, with butterflies doing diving swoops in my tummy, I go to get my bikini out of my bag.
As I turn back around, I find a very naked Jake, standing here before me.
“Wow, that was quick,” I giggle, eyes roaming his hot body.
“Well, when we’re talking sex and you, baby, my clothes just disintegrate,” he shrugs, grinning.
My stomach plummets off to a very happy place.
Unzipping my dress, I step out of it. Watching Jake watch me, I kick off my ballet pumps, and very slowly remove my underwear.
I’m just about to put the bikini on when Jake says in a gruff voice, “On second thought, if I remember right, you were topless that day, and you know how I hate panties on you…”
Coming close, he takes them from my hand and tosses them to the floor. He kisses me hard on the mouth. Then sliding his hand into mine, he breaks our kiss, leaving me breathless and wanting, and starts to pull me in the direction of the water.
“We’re going in?” I tread carefully over the flat rocks.
“Absolutely.”
“You want us to go skinny dipping?”
“Oh, most definitely.” He gives me a cheeky look.
“Oh no, Jake. No way. It’ll be freezing.” This so was not part of my plan.
“It’s a warm night,” he coaxes. “The water won’t be that cold.”
“It will,” I press.
Jake stops, turning to me. “The last time we were here, we were in the water … and tonight I want to see you … wet.” His voice has gone all dark and sultry, and is completely laced with inclination.
Honestly, I’m wet just listening to him, and my stomach has turned to molten lava, heating my insides.
But it’s still not enough to want me to freeze to death in that cold ass water.
“As awesome as that sounds, there is no way in hell that I’m getting in that ass freezing water.”
I step back, dropping his hand. “Let’s just have sex on the nice warm blanket,” I encourage.
Jake tilts his head to the side. His look is challenging, and I know exactly what’s he’s thinking.
“No way! Don’t you dare, Jake Wethers!” I point my finger at him in warning, taking a step back.
“Noooo! Argghh!” I scream as he runs at me, grabbing hold of me.
Picking me up, he hoists me over his shoulder, and kicking and screaming Jake carries me into the water.
“Put me down!” I yell, laughing, wriggling in his strong arms.
Jake is laughing. Deep and loud. And I love the sound. It’s been way too long since I last heard him laugh. So I keep wriggling in his arms, readying myself to take the hit of the cold water for him, to make him laugh, to make him feel happiness.
Jake’s happy, so am I.
Once he’s waded in to his hips, he slides me down his body, dropping me in the cold water.
“Arghhh! It’s bloody freezing!” I screech as the water chills through me. “You’re such an arsehole!”
“Don’t be a girl,” he chuckles deep and throaty.
“I am a girl,” I grin.
“Yeah? Well you feel like a woman to me,” he says low, his hands going around my waist, pulling me close.
I can feel he’s hard already. How, in this cold water? I have no clue. But I love that he is for me. That I do this to him.
Wrapping myself around his body, I hold on tight, as Jake wades us further into the water.
Once we’re chest deep, I decide to take the plunge. Freeing myself from Jake, I swim out a little and immerse myself into the water, wetting my hair.
It’s not too bad now I’m acclimatised to it.
As I surface, I see Jake treading water a few feet before me, staring across at me in the moonlit dark.
He’s looks so beautiful, all wet with the moon shining down on him. He looks like the star he is.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask.
“You. Then, and now. How beautiful you were back then, and how even more beautiful you are now. How I wish I’d seen you through all those years, and how I’m counting myself as one lucky bastard that I got a second chance to have you in my life … and that you’re crazy enough to be mine.”
My heart swells in my chest, replete with love for him. I never knew it possible to love someone as much as I do Jake.
I can’t ever imagine my life again without him in it, and I don’t ever want to.
Jake is my everything.
I swim to him and wrap my arms around his neck. His arms go around me, holding me tight.
“I’ll always be yours.” I kiss his cheek, licking the cool water drops off his skin with my tongue, trailing a lead of gentle sucking kisses to his mouth. “Back then, on that day, I wanted you to make love to me under the waterfall,” I whisper against his lips, casting my glance in the falls’ direction.
And without another word, I take off swimming for the falls.
Jake is hot behind me.
When we hit the cascading water, Jake takes me in his arms, kissing me like it’s the first time, and he makes love to me here under the falls, like those two teenagers wanted to all those years ago.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“He’s using again, isn’t he?”
Stuart looks sadly across the table in the coffee shop we’re in, and nods his head once. “Yes, I think he is.”
“You think or you’re sure?”
“I’m sure,” he says without hesitation.
Stuart should know. He lived with Jake, the addict, before.
“Me too,” I sigh, stirring my coffee, I look down into my cup.
We’re in Boston and it’s two weeks into the US leg of the tour. And Jake’s using drugs again.
It’s become increasingly apparent over the last week.
I’ve never lived with an addict before, but the signs are pretty clear.
He’s not sleeping. His moods are all over the place. His temper is short. He’s drinking more than usual. Fidgety. I could go on.
After Lumb Falls, we went back to the hotel, happy together, and when we woke in the morning, everything was perfect.
Jake was Jake again. We spent time with his mum, and my folks. We all had a wonderful few days together in Manchester.
Then one night everything changed. One phone call changed it all.
Stuart received a heads up call from the press about a story that was going to be run the following morning. The press had found out about Paul’s death. They dug a little deeper and found out he’d been in prison, and just what he went to prison for.
There was no way to stop the story, although Jake and Stuart tried.
So we left Manchester that night, and flew to LA, to Jake’s house.
My first stay at his place, my new home to be, wasn’t exactly how I had imagined it would be.
Jake was tense and stressed. I was alone for most of the time.
When the story hit the news, I lost him. He became introvert.