20
I slept Sunday morning and missed church. I hadn't gotten home until nearly seven o'clock in the morning. There was no way to make a ten o'clock service. Surely God understood the need for sleep, even if he didn't have to do it himself.
Late afternoon found me at Washington University. I was in the office of Dr. Louis Fane, Louie to his friends. The early-winter evening was filling the sky with soft purple clouds. Strips of sky like a lighted backdrop for the clouds showed through his single office window. He rated a window. Most doctorates didn't. Doctorates are cheap on a college campus.
Louie sat with his back to the window. He had turned on the desk lamp. It made a pool of golden warmth against the coming night. We sat in that last pool of light, and it seemed more private than it should have. A last stand against the dark. God, I was melancholy today.
Louie's office was suitably cluttered. One wall was ceiling-to-floor bookshelves, filled with biology textbooks, nature essays, and a complete set of James Herriot books. The skeleton of a Little Brown Bat was laid behind glass and hung on his wall by his diploma. There was a bat identification poster on his door like the ones you buy for bird feeders. You know, "Common Birds of Eastern Missouri." Louie's doctoral thesis had been on the adaptation of the Little Brown Bat to human habitation.
His shelves were lined with souvenirs; seashells, a piece of petrified wood, pinecones, bark with dried lichen on it. All the bits and pieces that biology majors are always picking up.
Louie was about five foot six, with eyes as black as my own. His hair was straight and fine, growing a little below his shoulders. It wasn't a fashion statement as it was with Richard. It sort of looked as though Louie had just not gotten around to cutting his hair in a while. He had a square face, a slender build, and looked sort of inoffensive. But muscles worked in his forearms as he tented his fingers and looked at me. Even if he hadn't been a wererat, I might not have offered to arm-wrestle him.
He had come in specially to talk to me on a Sunday. It was my day off, too.
It was the first Sunday that Richard and I hadn't at least talked to each other in months. Richard had called and canceled, saying it was pack business. I hadn't been able to ask questions because you can't argue with your answering machine. I didn't call him back. I wasn't ready to talk to him, not after last night.
I felt like a fool this morning. I'd said yes to a proposal from someone I didn't know. I knew what Richard had shown me, his outward face, but inside was a whole new world that I had just begun to visit.
"What did you and the rest of the professors think of the footprints the police sent over?"
"We think it's a wolf."
"A wolf? Why?"
"It's certainly a big canine. It isn't a dog, and other than wolves that's about it."
"Even allowing for the fact that the canine foot is mixed with human?"
"Even allowing."
"Could it be Peggy Smitz?"
"Peggy could control herself really well. Why would she kill someone?"
"I don't know. Why wouldn't she kill someone?"
He leaned back in his chair. It squeaked under his weight. "Fair question. Peggy was as much a pacifist as the pack would let her be."
"She didn't fight?"
"Not unless forced into it."
"Was she high in the pack structure?"
"Shouldn't you be asking Richard these questions? He is next in line to the throne, so to speak."
I just looked at him. I wouldn't look away as if I were guilty of something.
"I smell trouble in paradise," he said.
I ignored the hint. Business, we had business to discuss. "Peggy's husband came to see me. He wanted me to look for her. He didn't know about the other missing lycanthropes. Why wouldn't Peggy have told him?"
"A lot of us survive in relationships by pretending as hard as we can that we aren't what we are. I bet Peggy didn't talk pack business with her husband."
"How hard is it to pretend?"
"The better you control, the easier it is to pretend."
"So it can be done."
"Would you want to go through your life pretending you didn't raise zombies? Never talking about it? Never sharing it? Having your husband embarrassed by it, or sickened by it?"
I felt my face burn. I wanted to deny it. I wasn't embarrassed by Richard, or sickened, but I wasn't comfortable, either. Not comfortable enough to protest. "It doesn't sound like a very good way to live," I said.
"It isn't."
There was a very heavy silence in the room. If he thought I was going to spill the beans, he was wrong. When all else goes to hell, concentrate on business. "The police were all over the area where the body was found today. Sergeant Storr said they didn't find anything but a few more footprints, a little blood." Truth was, they had found some fresh rifle slugs in the trees near the kill area, but I wasn't sure I was free to share that with the lycanthrope community. It was police business. I was lying to both sides. It didn't seem like a good way to run a murder investigation, or a missing-person case.
"If the police and the pack would share information, we might be able to solve this case."
He shrugged. "It's not my call, Anita. I'm just an Indian, not a chief."
"Richard's a chief," I said.
"Not as long as Marcus and Raina are alive."
"I didn't think Richard had to fight her for pack dominance. I thought it was Marcus's fight."
Louie laughed. "If you think Raina would let Marcus lose without helping him, you haven't met the woman."
"I have met her. I just thought her helping Marcus was against pack law."
He shrugged again. "I don't know about pack law, but I know Raina. If Richard would play footsie with her, she might even help him defeat Marcus, but he's made it very clear that he doesn't like her."
"Richard said she had this idea about lycanthrope porno movies?"
Louie's eyes widened. "Richard told you about that?"
I nodded.
"I'm surprised. He was embarrassed about the whole idea. Raina was hot and heavy to have him be her costar. I think she was trying to seduce him, but she misjudged her boy. Richard is too private to ever have sex for a camera."
"Raina's starred in some of the movies?"
"So I'm told."
"Have any of the wererats appeared in the flicks?"
He shook his head. "Rafael forbid it. We're one of the few groups that refused it flat."
"Rafael's a good man."
"And a good rat," Louie said.
I smiled. "Yeah."
"What's up with you and Richard?"
"What do you mean?"
"He left a message on my answering machine. Said he had big news concerning you. When I saw him in person, he said it was nothing. What happened?"
I didn't know what to say. Not a new event lately. "I think it has to be Richard's news."
"He said something about it being your choice and he couldn't talk about it. You say it's his business and you can't talk about it. I wish one of you would talk to me."
I opened my mouth, closed it, and sighed. I had questions that I needed answers to, but Louie was Richard's friend before he was mine. Loyalty and all that. But who the hell else could I ask? Irving? He was in enough trouble with Richard.
"I've heard Richard and Rafael talk about controlling their beasts. Does that mean the change?"
He nodded. "Yes." He looked at me, eyes narrowing. "If you've heard Richard talk about his beast, you must have seen him close to changing. What happened last night?"
"If Richard didn't tell you, Louie, I don't think I can."
"The grapevine says you killed Alfred. Is that true?"
"Yes."
He looked at me as if waiting for more, then shrugged. "Raina won't like that."
"Marcus didn't seem too pleased, either."
"But he won't jump you in a dark alley. She will."
"Why didn't Richard tell me that?"
"Richard is one of the best friends I have. He's loyal, honest, caring, sort of the world's furriest boy scout. If he has a flaw, it's that he expects other people to be loyal, honest, and caring."
"Surely after what he's seen from Marcus and Raina, he doesn't still think they're nice people?"
"He knows they aren't nice, but he has trouble seeing them as evil. When all is said and done, Anita, Marcus is his alpha male. Richard respects authority. He's been trying to work out some sort of compromise with Marcus for months. He doesn't want to kill him. Marcus doesn't have the same qualms about Richard."
"Irving told me Richard defeated Marcus, could have killed him, and didn't. Is that true?"
" 'Fraid so."
"Shit."
"Yeah, I told Richard he should have done it, but he's never killed anyone. He believes all life is precious."
"All life is precious," I said.
"Some life is just more precious than others," Louie said.
I nodded. "Yeah."
"Did Richard change for you last night?"
"God, you are relentless."
"You said it was one of my better qualities."
"It is normally." It was like being picked at by Ronnie. She never gave up, either.
"Did he change for you?"
"Sort of," I said.
"And you couldn't handle it." It was a flat statement.
"I'm not sure, Louie. I'm just not sure."
"Better to find out now," he said.
"I guess so."
"Do you love him?"
"None of your damn business."
"I love Richard like a brother. If you're going to slice his heart up and serve it on a platter, I'd like to know now. If you leave, I'll be the one helping him pick up the pieces."
"I don't want to hurt Richard," I said.
"I believe you." He just looked at me. There was a great peacefulness to his expression, as if he could wait all night for me to answer the question. Louie had more patience than I would ever have.
"Yes, I love him. Happy?"
"Do you love him enough to embrace his furry side?" His eyes were staring at me as if they'd burn a hole through my heart.
"I don't know. If he were human... Shit."
"If he were human, you'd marry him maybe?" He was kind enough to make it a question.
"Maybe," I said. But it wasn't a maybe. If Richard had been human, I'd be a very happily engaged woman right now. Of course, there was another male that wasn't human that had been trying to get me to date him for a while. Jean-Claude had said that Richard wasn't any more human than he was. I hadn't believed him. I was beginning to. It looked like I owed Jean-Claude an apology. Not that I would ever admit it to him.
"A writer came to my office yesterday, Elvira Drew. She's doing a book on shapeshifters. It sounds legit and could be good press." I explained the format of the book.
"Sounds good, actually," he said. "Where do I come in?"
"Guess."
"She's missing a wererat interview."
"Bingo."
"I can't afford to be exposed, Anita. You know that."
"It doesn't have to be you. Is there anyone among you that would be willing to meet with her?"
"I'll ask around," he said.
"Thanks, Louie." I stood.
He stood and offered me his hand. His grip was firm but not too strong, just right. I wondered how fast he really was, and how easy it would be for him to crush my hand into pulp. It must have shown on my face, because he said, "You might want to stop dating Richard. Until you get this sorted out."
I nodded. "Yeah, maybe."
We stood there in silence for a moment. There didn't seem to be anything left to say, so I left. I was all out of clever repartee, or even a good joke. It was barely dark, and I was tired. Tired enough to go home and crawl into bed and hide. Instead, I was on my way to the Lunatic Cafe. I was going to try and convince Marcus to let me talk to the police. Eight missing, one dead human. It didn't have to be connected. But if it was a werewolf, then Marcus would know who did the killing, or Raina would know. Would they tell me? Maybe, maybe not, but I had to ask. They'd come closer to telling me the truth than they would to the police. Funny how all the monsters talked to me and not to the police. You had to begin to wonder why the monsters were so damn comfortable around me.
I raised zombies and slew vampires. Who was I to throw stones?