“I love it, Zane.” I stared at the necklace in my hand. The actual necklace was made of small, dark blue pieces and there were several turquoise stones that made up the band. “This is beautiful.”
“I remembered one day in the diner you had told me you loved the color blue.” He looked embarrassed. “I thought you would like this. Most women like necklaces, right?”
“I love it, Zane. Thank you so much. I held it carefully in my hand and reached over to kiss him on the cheek. I held his gaze and touched his cheek. “This really means a lot to me, Zane. More than you’ll ever know. Thank you.” I looked down at the necklace again and grinned. “Will you help me put it on? I want to wear it now.” I handed him the necklace and he tied it around my neck carefully. I twirled around once it was on and touched it with happiness, allowing the moment to carry me away.
“Are you okay, Zane?” I touched his shoulder and he glanced at me with emotion-filled eyes.
“You look beautiful, Lucky. Really beautiful.” He paused. “I just can’t quite believe you’re here.” He frowned. “Guys like me don’t get girls like you …”
“Girls like me?”
“The good ones, the special ones. I don’t even know if this moment is real. It doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel like my life. I’m so scared that someone is going to wake me from a dream and you won’t be here.”
“I feel the same way,” I whispered. “It just seems to all have happened so quickly.” I chewed on my lower lip and looked up at his handsome face from under my lashes. “I’m scared that something will go wrong.”
“So am I.” He cleared his throat and looked away. “I don’t know that I can be exactly what you need.”
“What do you mean?” My breath caught in my throat and I stared at him in fear. Was he breaking up with me already? Was the necklace a goodbye gift?
“I had a dream about my mother this morning.” He tried to keep his tone light, but I could tell he was masking a deeper emotion.
“What did you dream?” We walked back to the bedroom and sat on the bed, my hand enclosed in his.
“I just remembered the day she left.” His voice cracked slightly.
“I didn’t realize you remembered that.”
“I try not to think about it.” He forced a laugh and my heart filled with sympathy for him. “I was so young, I didn’t even realize what was happening.”
“You couldn’t have known.”
“She asked me to look after Noah. I was too busy sulking about not getting to go to McDonald’s.”
“You were just a kid, Zane.”
“Why didn’t she take us? Why didn’t she love us enough to make sure she could be the one to take care of us?”
“I don’t know how she could have left you.” My heart ached for him and the pain and rejection he was remembering and feeling. I wished that I could say something to make him understand and feel better. But frankly, I couldn’t comprehend his mother’s actions either.
“Noah never spoke about her. Well, he tried and I wouldn’t engage, and then he just stopped trying.” He looked at me searchingly. “I sometimes wondered if that was healthy. Maybe we should have really talked about it. Maybe we should have confronted our dad.”
“How did your dad react when your mom left and Noah died?” I asked curiously, wondering what sort of man Zane’s dad was.
“He had another woman, so he didn’t really care when my mom left. He said she was a whore and we were all better off without her.” Zane’s voice was bitter. “And when Noah died, he got free publicity for his new movie.”
“Oh.” My voice was hollow and I grieved for the man sitting next to me—the man who had never felt the unequivocal and whole-consuming love that I had gotten from my parents.
“Let’s talk about something else.” He shook his head and jumped up. “I’ll get in the shower while you change, and then we can get this party started.”
“What party?” I half-smiled at him, understanding why he wanted to change the subject. I hated it when people asked me about my parents and the conversation lagged on. I loved my memories of my mom and dad, but I didn’t want to think about their deaths constantly. And I had happy memories. I could only imagine the crushing heartache and unresolved pain that he felt.
“The party that will be our day today.” He grinned. “Even if we can’t have sex to get it started.”
“Zane,” I admonished him. “We are about more than sex.” I shook my head. Men were so predictable sometimes.
“We are?”
“Shut up and get in the shower.” I laughed and stood up to push him towards the door.
“Leave your hair curly today.” He smiled at me as he lifted a finger to my curls.
“It’ll get too frizzy.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to look like Frankenstein.”
“But you’ll be my Frankenstein.”
“I’d rather be no one’s Frankenstein.”
“Well, I think we can fix that. I think you’d be more like Worzel Gummidge than Frankenstein.” He burst out laughing and I frowned at him.
“Who’s Worzel Gummidge?”
“I’ll let you figure it out.” He laughed and walked to the bathroom. “And think about what you want to eat for breakfast or lunch.”
I hurried to grab my phone and brought up Google so I could type in that name. I plugged in Worzel Gummidge and some hideous photos of an unkempt man popped up.
“Zane Beaumont, just wait until you get out of the shower!” I shouted, trying to stop myself from laughing. “That was not funny.” I looked once again at the photos of the dirty scarecrow and dropped my phone on the bed. “I’m definitely not staying curly now!” I shouted again and quickly put my clothes on. I was just applying some lip gloss when Zane exited the bathroom, all wet and dripping. I stared at his na**d chest in awe and lust. I watched as a drop of water held on to a chest hair for dear life, and as he moved, it danced down his body and onto the floor. I looked back up at his chest and saw another drop about to make the same journey and I felt an overwhelming urge to rush up to him and lick it off. I groaned inwardly; I was starting to become as horny as Zane. I blamed it on the fact that I hadn’t had sex in ages before Zane and, of course because Zane was dyn**ite in bed. I giggled at the thought and Zane raised an eyebrow at me.
“Are you laughing at my body, Lucky?” He put a hand on his hip and cocked his head. “Do I not meet your approval?”“Well, you know… you could do a couple of pushups.” My tone was serious as I looked him over. “And maybe some bicep curls.”
“Oh really?” His voice was light with humor and his blue eyes sparkled. “Is that all?”
“Your abs look a little flabby.” I pretended to look embarrassed for him. “So maybe some sit-ups as well.”
“I promise I’ll still love you if you get fat.” He grinned at me and I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Uh huh.”
“It could happen soon if you’re pregnant.”
“Oh,” I groaned. “My body.” I clutched my stomach and twirled around. “My modeling days will be over.”
“You can model for me any day of the week, baby.”
“Don’t you mean night?”
“Day or night. I’m always ready to be wowed by your beauty.”
“Liar! Way to try and butter me up, flabby chest.” I giggled and reached over to run my hands down his chest. “Now get ready so we can go eat. I’m hungry.”
“I’m guessing that’s not for me?” He looked at me hopefully and I walked away from him, laughing.
“I’m going downstairs, Don Juan. Hurry.”
“I used to be the one who said that.” He grabbed his towel and started drying off his body, and I felt my face flush as I thought about all the things I could be doing to him right now.
“Don’t be long.” I ran out of the room and down the stairs. I walked to the kitchen slowly, stopping to look outside into the backyard. There were a lot of pretty flowers in bloom, and I stared as they swayed in the light wind. The pinks and the yellows against the deep green of the grass made me feel warm and cozy inside. I decided to make some coffee and come back and sit outside while I waited for Zane.
As I sat drinking my coffee, a sudden panic rose up in me. What if I was pregnant? Was I allowed to drink coffee? I knew I wasn’t supposed to drink alcohol, but I had no idea about coffee. I had no idea about anything that had to do with pregnancies and babies. I’d never really been around any pregnant women. A wave of sadness crashed down on my heart as I realized I couldn’t even ask my mom for help. I pictured my mother’s smiling face and I thought about what she would say if she knew the situation I was in and how irresponsible I had been. I groaned as the enormity of everything I had done came crashing down on me. I had basically quit my job and had withdrawn from school—all for a guy. A guy I barely knew. A guy who had more issues than I did. A guy I wasn’t sure would ever be able to fully give me his heart, no matter how much he wanted to. A man who may have gotten me pregnant. How was I going to go back to school with a baby? Would I now be a college dropout? I knew my mother would have admonished me. She and my father would have been upset at my choices. I should have asked Zane to let me finish college first. I should have held on to my rules a little longer.
A noise behind me distracted me from my thoughts and I looked behind me. I saw Zane walking through the living room and into the kitchen, and my heart lit up. It literally felt as if someone had lit a match and the warmth was heating up my entire body. I felt light and happy, and as I watched him, I knew that I wouldn’t have done anything differently if I had to do it all over again. This was my moment. He was my Zane and this was how it was meant to be. I just hoped that everything worked out the way that I wanted it to. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to cope if it all went wrong.
***
“Where do you want to go for breakfast?” Zane joined me outside in the garden and drank his coffee.
“I don’t know. Maybe we can grab something and go eat in the park?”
“Like a picnic?”
“I guess.”
“I suppose I should get some flowers and champagne as well?” He grinned at me.
“Well, I don’t know if I can drink.” I bit my lip and blushed as he realized what he had said.
“Shit! I didn’t even think about that.” His face turned serious. “I don’t really know much about babies.”
“Neither do I.” I put my mug down and picked some of the flowers next to me. “In fact, I know nothing.”
“What a fine pair we make.” Zane chuckled and I looked up to see his eyes were shining with mirth. “We’ll have to take some classes. And read some books. Yes, let’s go to the bookstore and get some books.”
“Before or after we shop for new sheets and groceries?”
“I guess we can go and get the books tomorrow.”
“Let’s wait to see if I’m pregnant first.” I heard the words coming out of my mouth, but they seemed so surreal. Everything seemed surreal. I pressed my hand to my forehead and closed my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Zane rushed towards me with concern in his voice. “Are you okay?”
I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me with worry. I smiled at him shyly, not sure how to feel about him being so protective. On the one hand, it made me feel like he really cared, but then it also made me feel like he thought I was weak. And I never wanted to be that weak girl. Not again. I’d matured past that.
“Do you need to go lie down?” He reached over to pick me up, and I pushed him away.
“No, I want to go and eat. Preferably pancakes.”
“Pancakes on a picnic?” Zane gave me his special ‘I like you, but you’re kind of kooky’ look, and I had a vision of him at the diner a few months ago, sitting at his special booth, waiting for his date to decide between a garden salad and a veggie burger. I had stood there waiting patiently, trying not to tap my foot and sigh, and he had given me a special look while his date had taken her sweet time thinking about what to order. I can still remember the special feeling that had caressed me and I laughed now as I had then: uncontrollably and hysterically. I was laughing so hard that I had to bend over to catch my breath. “You okay, Lucky?”
“Yes,” I gasped. “Just don’t make that look again.” I hiccupped and Zane wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Or do that,” I glared at him and he contorted his face.
“Would you rather me look like a scary monster?”
“You’re still a handsome scary monster.”
“She thinks I’m handsome, she thinks I’m handsome.” He jumped up and ran around the garden, pumping his fist in the air, and I laughed again. This time I was able to control it and I watched him running around like a man with no worries or concerns. For that brief moment, everything was all right and was going to be fine. There was nothing that was weighing our minds down.
“Zane, are you done yet? I’m hungry.” I jumped up and looked at the flowers still in my hand. “And what flowers are these? I love them.”
He walked over to me, still smiling, and looked down at the stems in my hand. He picked up the flower with the huge white petals and a green center and smiled. “This is my favorite; it’s a Pom Daisy.”