When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send
the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has
confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests.
On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of
conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the
beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature and affection of the
girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she has been sent by
the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of
the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities
of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing
to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other
lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their
parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote
samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others,
who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their
own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. And she should
also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being
troubled by rival wives, became wretched and miserable, and were finally
abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual
happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the
girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavour to allay her shame[51]
and her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might
result from the marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a
female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for
her, the places he frequented, and the endeavours he made to meet her,
and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take
you away forcibly and unexpectedly."
The Forms of Marriage.
When the girl is gained over, and acts openly with the man as his wife,
he should cause fire to be brought from the house of a Brahman, and
having spread the Kusha grass upon the ground, and offered an oblation
to the fire he should marry her according to the precepts of the
religious law. After this he should inform his parents of the fact,
because it is the opinion of ancient authors that a marriage solemnly
contracted in the presence of fire cannot afterwards be set aside.
After the consummation of the marriage, the relations of the man should
gradually be made acquainted with the affair, and the relations of the
girl should also be apprised of it in such a way that they may consent
to the marriage, and overlook the manner in which it was brought about,
and when this is done they should afterwards be reconciled by
affectionate presents and favourable conduct. In this manner the man
should marry the girl according to the Gandharva form of marriage.