And now, this sad, sad little snowcat.
She'd known better than to let Regin assist her with this multi-leg jaunt, much less meet her. Yes, Regin did have the military contacts Kaderin had known she'd need to get south - really south. And yes, Regin had sworn she spoke Russian, which was about the only Baltic language Kaderin didn't have a handle on.
But the easiest way to get disqualified from the Hie was to draw human attention to the Lore, and Regin's utter lack of subtlety - and her glowing skin - kept Kaderin wary.
When asked why her skin was so radiant, Regin had been known to answer, "Eight glasses of water every day. Skin polish! Fateful swim in a radioactive lake... "
"Regin, why is the cab wooden?"
She tilted her head, puzzled herself, then rallied to say, "Just on the outside. Inside? We'll be like joeys in a pouch, not that we're going to die of cold anytime soon, even if it is negative fifty right now. Hey, did I mention the bucket seats, baby? This is the Cadillac-o-Snowcats."
Regin is young, Kaderin reminded herself. Only ten centuries old.
"Lookit, it's not like we have much choice about the snowcat, anyway. This is as far as the crew will take us."
"I still don't see why we couldn't just fly all the way to the mountain range." Kaderin gazed longingly at the Arktika - even that tin bucket of a whirlybird was preferable. Two soldiers had anchored it down and were keeping it running - it was night in Antarctica in the middle of austral fall, and if the helicopter rotors stilled for even a few seconds, they would freeze that way.
"You will if the wind starts whipping up," Regin answered. "Freak katabatic winds aloft. I learned that word today."
Aloft or katabatic? Kaderin was tempted to ask.
"Besides, at that altitude and in this season," she continued, "the rotors would definitely freeze. And we don't have an automatic thermoelectric anti-icing system. We're all manual."
As if to illustrate "manual," two other soldiers were spraying a de-icer on the less intricate snowcat engine, a secret cocktail of calcium chloride that was stronger than any on the market, black or not. The last soldier, the leader, Ivan, was a tall blond of exceptional good looks. He took another swig from a flask of vodka that never froze, then gave a bow to Regin.
Earlier, he and Regin had been playing slap hands, gloveless, in subzero temperatures, because "it hurts worse in the cold."
Regin waved back at him, smiling sunnily even while muttering, "Young, dumb, and hung. Where do I sign?"
Kaderin pinched her forehead. She had finally decided to ask the coven for help and wound up with the most frat-pledge-esque of the Valkyrie - and the one she'd dreaded facing.
Regin's mother, the last survivor of a vampire attack on the Radiant Ones, had been on the verge of death when rescued by Wóden and Freya. She'd been scarred with bites until the day she died, years later. Even on her beautiful glowing face.
Regin had learned to count by them.
Kaderin began pacing. "You shouldn't have come, Regin."
"You had two prerequisites." Regin plopped down on a snowbank. "And I do believe I have Russian ex-mil contacts, and I speak the language - "
"Oh, come on! I've since learned that you do not by any stretch. You think Dostoyevsky is Russian for 'How's it hanging?' "
She blinked up at Kaderin as she paced by. "Then how do you say it?"
"I - don't - know."
"Then how do you know it's not Dostoyevsky? No. Really." She blew a bubble with her gum - possibly the first to do so at this location - but it flash-froze, and she had to crunch it back to gum consistency with her molars. "Obi-Wan, I was your only hope."
Regin knew Kaderin did not appreciate Star Wars references. "There had to be someone," Kaderin insisted.
"Would you rather Nïx had come?"
Nucking Futs Nïx. "As a matter of fact, she was on the list of prizes. Or at least, the hair of the oldest Valkyrie was."
"No wonder!" At Kaderin's raised eyebrows, Regin explained, "Right before we took off, Nïx called to tell me she went into the Circle K to get a People and some madman sheared off most of her hair." She added, "Nïx thinks it's 'becoming.' Kind of like an early Katie Couric or Tennille of Captain and - "
"Silence, Regin!"
"What?" She stomped one of her hyper-pink and purple snow boots. "What'd I say?"
"Myst could've come."
"I told you, she's busy."
Kaderin said, "And you never told me with what."
She hiked her shoulders and averted her eyes. "Dunno with what."
"Regin, I've told you what's at stake."
"I know. And we're totally going to win the key."
Kaderin didn't miss that Regin had slipped we're into that sentence. "What is taking them so long? These amulets are decade-long glamours. We're going to be overrun with trolls and killer kobolds wanting to look human."
Regin snorted, she laughed so abruptly. She bent all the way over, elbows past her knees.
"Damn you, it isn't funny."
Once her guffaws died down, Regin said, "You are the only person on earth who calls them killer kobolds. That's such a slippery slope away from killer gnome."
"Have you forgotten that they took my foot?" She'd just been frozen into her immortality - mere days earlier - otherwise, it would not have regenerated. In any case, it had hurt like hell. "And when was the last time you lost a body part?"
Regin gazed up solemnly. "I lost a finger in the Battle of Evermore."
"Oh." Kaderin frowned, then cried, " 'The Battle of Evermore' is a Led Zeppelin song!"
"Yeah. But wasn't it written about us?" Regin's eyes widened. "Hey, speaking of songs, lookit what I made for our snowcat ride." She pulled out an iPod, careful to keep it rubbed warm. "A snow-trip mix!"
Kaderin saw red and pounced on her, shoving her into the snow. She ceased when she registered that Regin was too dumbfounded to fight back. The Russians stopped what they were doing, staring, no doubt wondering why two scientists were wrestling in the snow.
Kaderin stood, giving Regin a hand up, and eked out an unpracticed smile for the Russians.
"Tetchy," Regin said, brushing off her clothing. "Seems somebody's shucking their cursey-wursey."
Only ten centuries old. Only ten centuries...
"It's not a curse. It was - it is a blessing." She lifted her chin, not wanting Regin to know she'd begun to feel again - and that she didn't see that woeful development ending anytime soon. If Kaderin's coven mates found out, they'd be so happy, making a huge deal out of this. Which, coincidentally, could now embarrass her. "I apologize. The stress of the Hie makes the blessing waver at times - " She broke off when a helicopter flew over, a Canadian flag on the tail. "You said we couldn't fly!"