I paused, comprehending what he had to say. In O’Connell’s arms, I felt safe and protected, but I needed to be strong independently, to not let all of my phobias and self-doubt shape the person that I was becoming. Besides, if letting out all of Frank’s dirty secrets was my body’s was of getting rid of them for good, then I was happy to speed up the process of draining out the poison.
“Would you come with me, if I did this?” I asked him earnestly.
“Try stopping me,” he replied.
I kissed him gently, feeling more love for him at this moment than I’d ever felt before. Instead of feeling ugly and dirty enough that I wanted to shower off a layer of skin, he’d given me another way of looking at this horrific legacy.
“How come you’re not flipping out? Usually you’d be losing your temper by now.”
“Don’t get me wrong. If that scumbag ever does show up, I will lose my shit, and I can’t promise you that I won’t kill the fucker. But I’m just coming to realise that me losing my temper is about me. Making sure that you’re okay, taking care of you, is more important to me right now than anything else. I love you, sunshine. There’s nothing more important to me than you.”
Not since my real dad was alive had anyone said that to me, and a tear rolled down my cheek as I realised how important it was to me to hear it.
“I love you, too, O’Connell. So much.”
He turned my face towards him and kissed me deeply, twisting us both around so that my body was underneath him.
“I’m never letting you go. You know that right?” he reminded me fiercely.
“Forever,” I whispered.
“Forever,” he agreed with a grin and went back to kissing me.
The way that man used his lips should be illegal. It was so hard to think about, let alone worry about anything else, when he was rubbing that talented tongue of his against my own. Pulling away from me, he rested his forehead against mine.
“Stop, baby. I’m rock hard here, and I don’t want to make love to you when I should be comforting you.”
I loved his concern, but ran my hand over his rock hard cock, knowing that he had no idea how much I wanted this.
“Ahh,” he groaned, planting his head into the pillow beside me. “You’re killing me.”
I carried on rubbing his length gently without saying anything, knowing that he’d give into me eventually. He levered himself back up to look down at me.
“Are you sure, love?” he asked.
I smiled and nodded as he bent down to kiss me. The moment was so beautiful because O’Connell didn’t see me any differently, knowing what Frank had done. I didn’t want his pity; I wanted his love. I wanted to be normal and sexy, and I wanted him to want me as much as I wanted him. He ran his hand up and down my thigh as he rubbed himself against me, making me moan. I felt his tip at my entrance when he muttered, “Shit. Condom.”
I groaned with him. Glad that he at least had some common sense, because I was so keyed up right now that I couldn’t think of anything but his being inside of me. He leaned over the bed to grab another condom from his jeans pocket and quickly rolled it on. He ran his calloused fingertips across me, and I cried out as my body begged for more. Wrapping his hand around the globe, he teased the whole of my nipple with his warm, sweet tongue before sucking hard and pressing his delicious weight against me. O’Connell had me so hot, so fast, that I didn’t know how I could last more than five minutes without coming once he put those talented hands of his to good use. He kissed his way up my neck, and when our lips met, the kiss was wild and almost feral. Maybe, after what had happened between us, the sex should have been gentle and loving, but this was exactly what I needed. O’Connell was showing me that nothing had changed, that I was as desirable to him now as I’d always been, and it’s what made this frenzied coupling so loving. Our lips collided, and we struggled to breathe as our hands roamed freely over each other’s bodies. He reached between us to touch me, and I was so close that when he eased himself gently inside me, I came immediately, clenching and throbbing as he thrust in and out as hard as he could. The look on his face was fierce as he tried to hold out, but seconds later, he erupted inside on me and every muscle and tendon in his body strained as he rode the waves of his orgasm.
He collapsed down next to me and effortlessly lifted my languid, weightless body to lay on his.
“Love you, baby,” I mumbled, but I didn’t hear his response as I drifted happily into a deep and dreamless sleep.
I woke the next morning feeling totally at peace. We had slept away a whole day and night, but we’d both been exhausted. The sun was streaming through the window and the usual discomfort of waking up in an apartment colder than Alaska in winter was deliciously absent, warded off by the big warm body wrapped around all of mine. O’Connell was twisting one of my curls between his fingers so I knew he was awake.
“Good morning. I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for ages.”
“Sorry. You should have just woken me up.” I yawned.
“You needed the rest. How do you fancy a day of fun today?”
“Fun?” I asked sleepily, as though it was a foreign concept.
“Yeah, fun. I’ve just won my fight, things between us are back where they should be, and I’ve got one more day off before I go back to training. So today we’re going to forget our shit and our drama and just cut loose.”
“What did you have in mind?” I asked.
“Well, I thought we could go to a movie then maybe meet up with all the guys for ten-pin bowling.”
“That sounds great!” I said, but I bit my lip as I contemplated the first stumbling block. “I’m not sure that I can afford it, though,” I admitted truthfully.
“Don’t worry, sunshine, it’s on me,” he answered.
“And how come you’re feeling so flush?” I asked.
“Because,” he said, rolling over on top of me. “I have a new sponsor, which means that I finally get paid to train full-time. It’s not much, but it’s enough to take my girl out on.”
“That’s fantastic news! So when’s your next fight?”
“It should be in about six weeks, just after Christmas. I don’t know who it will be against yet, but it’ll put me on the radar of title contenders. I’ll have to pay my dues for a long time yet, but the better I do in fights like this, the better chance I have of attracting other sponsors.”