What if this time, he didn’t make it back to them?

His attention came back to the hot desert and big tube when he heard the humming sound again, this time much quieter with no vibrations. The glass doorway melted open, and no one said a word. Together, the three of them jumped through the hole and into the tunnel.

As they slid to the curved bottom of the huge cylinder, Tick heard the swishing sound of the door closing shut behind them.

Chapter

17

Streams of Fire

Tick was surprised at how the glass felt on the inside—cool, but hard as steel. The light came from everywhere and nowhere at once, a muted glow that made Paul and Sofia’s skin look purple. Glimmering shapes skittered along the interior surface of the tunnel, like reflections from a swimming pool. As Tick stood, he thought he might slip on the shiny surface, but the material had plenty of friction—it was almost sticky.

“What’s that smell?” Paul said, taking a big sniff with a wrinkled nose.

Tick took a deep breath. “Ooh, that does stink.” The air smelled like the chemicals in a portable toilet.

Tick walked as far as he could up the curved side of the tunnel, almost making it to the part where it was completely vertical. He saw a round bubble of glass, about three inches tall, bulging out from the wall. Scared to touch it, he leaned forward and took a closer look. A freaky distortion of his own image stared back at him, but nothing else.

“You’re gonna break your neck,” Sofia said. “Come back down, and let’s figure out what we need to do.”

Tick scooted down on his rear end, then stood back up. “Maybe we should just start walking.”

“Which way?” Sofia asked.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Paul said. “It was a borderline eight on the dumb-guy scale to come in here in the first place. If we start trottin’ off away from this door, we’d be complete idiots. Did you forget about that really big train that goes really fast?”

“Maybe we could stand to the side and jump onto it when it flies by,” Tick suggested.

Paul and Sofia both looked at him with blank faces. Then Paul said, “Dude, you just hit number one on the Top Ten List of Dumbest Ideas Ever Spoken Aloud.”

Tick shrugged. “Maybe. Got any better ideas?”

“Yeah, let’s stand here and hope Santa Claus shows up to tell us what to do.”

“Oh, would you two—” Sofia began.

“Shhh!” Tick said. He thought he’d heard something.

“What?”

“Just be quiet for a sec.” He stilled his body, perked his ears. There it was. A very quiet beeping sound, like a car alarm honking from miles away. “Do you hear that?”

“No,” Paul answered.

“Yeah, I hear it,” Sofia said. “Sounds like it’s far away but I can’t tell from which direction.” She looked down one end of the tunnel, then turned to the other. “That way?”

Tick shook his head, still straining his ears. “No, it sounds like it’s coming from outside the tunnel. Or below us, maybe.”

“Do you people have Superman hearing or something?” Paul said, throwing his arms up in frustration. “I don’t hear a dang—hey, what’s that?” He pointed toward the ceiling.

Tick followed the line of direction, at first not seeing what Paul was pointing toward. Then he spotted it—a blinking red light.

“That looks like a button,” Sofia said.

Tick squinted to get a better look and agreed. “It’s definitely a button. With some words next to it, on a sticker.” The ceiling was about twenty feet above them, just far enough that Tick couldn’t make out the words.

“If you can read that, you are Superman,” Paul said.

“I can’t. But I bet we’re supposed to push that button.”

“You think?” Paul frowned. “Master George built this entire gigantic tube thing just to test us to see if we could push a button?”

“I don’t know,” Tick muttered, feeling confused and discouraged.

After a long pause, all of them staring up at the flashing button, Sofia spoke up. “Maybe if we stood on each other’s shoulders, we could reach it.”

“On each other’s shoulders?” Paul asked. “What does that mean?”

“Well . . . you’re probably the strongest, though that isn’t saying much.” She looked Tick up and down, weighing him with her eyes. “I’ll get on Tick’s shoulders, then you lift both of us up.”

Paul flexed his arms, showing off his not-so-impressive biceps. “I might have some guns, Miss Italy, but that sounds ridiculous.”

“Let’s just try it,” Tick urged. “Show us you’re a man.”

Paul laughed. “You two are crazy. But whatever, I’m game.”

Tick got down on his knees and let Sofia crawl onto his shoulders, wrapping her legs around his neck so that her feet dangled over his chest. As Paul helped him stand up, Tick thought the blood vessels in his brain might burst from the effort. He couldn’t help but groan out loud as he struggled to balance with Sofia on top of him. He opened his mouth to say something, but Paul held a finger to his lips.

“Don’t say anything,” he said. “Nothing. No matter what you say, you’d be calling her fat. So just zip it.”

“You’re not so dumb, after all,” Sofia said from above.

Tick braced his feet and finally steadied himself. “How in the world are you going to lift both of us?”

“I surf, man. My legs could lift an elephant.” He looked up at Sofia. “Not that I’m saying you weigh as much as an—”

“Just get on with it,” Sofia said, kicking out at Paul.

Paul smiled at Tick, then walked behind him. “All right, dude. Let’s do this thing.”

Tick shuffled his feet apart and soon felt Paul grabbing him by the thighs and lifting with his shoulders. To his complete amazement, he rose slowly into the air.

Paul screamed out words as he struggled to stand. “Good . . . gracious . . . mercy . . . mama . . . you people . . . are FAT!”

The three of them swayed slightly as Paul fought to keep his balance and strength. Tick’s stomach turned; he couldn’t believe what was happening. I’ve been zapped into a Saturday morning cartoon.




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