:( When are you free? Any time before nine works for me.
Maybe tomorrow. I’d calm myself down by then.
My phone rang. Hadn’t I just told him I couldn’t talk?
I hesitated for a moment but decided that getting the phone call over might be the best bet. “Hi, Chase.”
“Finally. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. Just stressed about school and stuff.”
“Are you sure that’s it?”
“What else would it be?”
“You were fine when we talked last night. You met my mom, and now you seem mad at me. Did she say something about me? She seemed to think you guys hit it off, but clearly that wasn’t how you felt.”
The normal Cara would have assured him everything was okay and gotten off the phone, but I wasn’t that Cara anymore. “Why didn’t you invite me to the lake house?”
“What? How’d you even know about that?”
“Okay, point made. Have a good show, Chase.”
“Wait? What? I’m just curious. Did my mom mention it?”
I sighed. “Yes. She asked whether I’d decided if I was coming. And don’t bullshit that you didn’t want me to miss class or anything. She already knew I would be done for the semester.”
“Cara. It’s not what you think, or at least not anything that should be making you this mad and upset.”
“I’m not mad or upset.”
“Yes, you are.” His voice softened. “I know your voice.”
“I just wanted this to be real. I wanted us to be real. But I’m the idiot. Again.”
“Whoa. What are you talking about? Why wouldn’t we be real? Are you that upset I didn’t invite you on a trip?”
“No. It’s why you didn’t. And what your songs for me feel like. And how you aren’t in love with me, even though you pretend to be.”
“What the fuck? Where is this coming from? What do you mean what my songs feel like? And damn it, Cara, you know I love you.”
“I have to go.” I hung up, and let the tears start. I knew the tears weren’t just about Chase. They were about Aaron, and how completely strange I felt in my own skin. Something had to give. I’d thought dating Chase would help me move on, but I was starting to doubt it.
Chase called back, and I forced myself to pick up. I owed it to both of us to have this conversation out. “Hi.”
“Cara, I talked to Len. This is about Ariana, isn’t it? You think I’m doing what your ex did?”
When I didn’t answer at once he continued. “You know that’s not what’s happening. I’m the one who pushed for exclusivity from the beginning. Ariana and I have been done for over a year.”
I wiped away the tears from my eyes. “Then, why didn’t you invite me?”
“This is going to make me sound weak, but I’d prefer that to you somehow thinking I didn’t want you to come. She’s engaged, and I really don’t want to see it. I just wanted to go away somewhere alone with you.”
His words felt real, but what did it mean that he didn’t want to see the girl with someone new? “If you’re over her, why does it matter that she’s moved on?”
He sighed. “Would you want to see Aaron with someone else? Not to pour salt in a wound, but think about it. No matter how badly a relationship ends, it’s still hard to watch them happy with someone else. Maybe what makes it harder is that deep inside, you don’t want to see them happy. Wow, I just said that out loud.”
“Your breakup wasn’t a clean one?”
“Not by a long shot.”
I sat down on my bed.
“Do you have time to talk? I don’t want to tell this story twice, so I’d rather know you’ll hear me out.”
“Okay.” I nodded even though he obviously couldn’t see me through the phone.
“Can we video chat? I need to see you.”
“I don’t kno—”
“I’m calling.”
Moments later, the alert showed up on my tablet. I clicked accept.
“Oh, babe. I’m sorry.”
I sniffled, trying to compose myself.
“All this over a misunderstanding? I should have just told you.” He looked completely distraught.