“It also helped that Lacy was still there. Two Delta Mu’s in one night? Impressive, huh?”
I smiled at a few sisters on my way out the door. “Let’s do lunch at the student center one day this week. My treat.”
“Only if you answer my question. Why?”
I knew what he needed to hear. I only gave him half the answer. “Because I like the idea of having a guy friend, and having lunch seems like it would build on that friendship without blurring the lines.”
“Great. Tuesday at noon work for you?”
“It’s perfect.”
“Nice. See you then.”
***
Rachel was already sitting at a table when I showed up at the coffee shop. She glanced up from typing something into her phone when she saw me.
“Hey!” She stood up and met me right by the table. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine. I’m not the one who got hurt.”
“But you were the one it was about. And it’s perfectly normal to be frazzled or scared or anything really.”
I took a seat at the table before ordering something. “Is it normal to feel numb?”
“As in you don’t feel anything?”
“About Aaron and the situation. I just want to move on. I spent over a year with Aaron, but I can already see the relationship slipping away into my memories. Does that make sense?” I don’t know why I was being so honest with her, but sometimes it’s easier to admit things to someone you don’t know well. At the same time, I felt like I could trust her.
“It’s completely normal, especially since we both know you don’t feel numb about Chase.” She smiled, revealing rows of perfectly straight white teeth.
“I’m going to get something to drink. Need a refill?” After the night of tossing and turning I had, I needed as much caffeine as I could get.
She held up her coffee. “Nope, I’m set, but thanks. See you in a second.”
I ordered a skinny vanilla latte and headed back to the table. Rachel pocketed her phone. “Chase just texted me to check up on you.”
“Checking on me? We talked for an hour last night. I’m surprised he’d still worry.”
She set aside her cup. “Surprised? You just got in an altercation with your ex.”
“Yeah, but still.”
“We’ve been over this before, Cara. He cares about you.”
“I care about him. And I want to see him so bad it hurts.”
She smiled softly. “He feels the same way.”
“I wish that made things easier.” I took a slow sip, savoring the first taste.
“Either that’s really good or you’re daydreaming about Chase.”
I laughed and decided not to tell her which it was. Her comment reminded me that no matter how easy it was to talk to her, I needed to be careful. Everything I said, or didn’t say, could be repeated to him.
“Stop. Just stop it.”
“What?” My cup was inches from my lips, but I didn’t sip.
“I know what you’re doing. What you’re thinking.”
“You do?” I hoped she wasn’t going to tell me she thought she was psychic or something.
“You’re wondering how much you can trust me. You think I’m going to tell him everything.”
She was so on the mark, I decided to continue with honesty. “Well, aren’t you?”
“No. I love Chase. I’m excited he’s going to be my brother-in-law, but I like you, and I can see us becoming good friends. Sure, if you tell me that you plan on using him and dumping him, I might warn him to be careful, but that’s not what’s happening—or what you’re afraid to tell me.”
“I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to need him.”
“Needing is different than wanting. Which is it?”
“I don’t know,” I replied in barely a whisper. “I hope it’s want. I can’t afford to need someone again.”
“It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. We all need someone.”
“But, does it have to be Chase?”
“Yes. I think he’s the perfect one for you to need. You should tell him how much you want him with you though. I think you’d be pleasantly surprised with his response.”