“You’re ruining everything.” My voice rose barely above a whisper as thoughts of Cassie filled my head. Cassie was my girl, my world, and I knew she’d never trust me again. There was no way she’d ever forgive me for this. I’d never forgive myself. I didn’t deserve her, and she deserved a hell of a lot better than a screwup like me. I couldn’t believe I tossed away the best thing to ever happen to me for a piece of ass. I should never have gotten that drunk. It wasn’t an excuse, but my defenses were down, and I gave in. And I fucking hated myself for it.
“I’m sorry you see it that way. Hopefully you’ll change your mind. Maybe after the shock wears off. I’ll be in touch, Jack,” she said as she walked out the door.
Fuck.
If Chrystle kept the baby, there was no way she’d move away from her family. I would have to live here, in Alabama. Or at least have a place here if I wanted to see my own kid. I could kiss California good-bye for good. I’d have to spend all of the off-season here. My body sank to the carpet, my back firm against the bed, as my world crashed down around me. I wouldn’t be like my father. I wouldn’t leave my child the same way he left me and Dean. I’d experienced firsthand how a parent willingly leaving can royally fuck up a person. I’m a prime example. I wouldn’t do that to my own flesh and blood. I wouldn’t follow in my father’s footsteps, leaving personal damage in my wake. I would be better than he ever was.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. I wished harder than I ever wished for anything that it was all a nightmare. That I’d wake up any second and my body would flood with relief at it being all in my mind. But no matter what I did, I couldn’t make it stop being real.
“This story sucks.” I sucked in a breath before frowning.
“I told you it wasn’t happy,” he said, his hand running down my side, giving me chills.
“Are we almost to last night yet?” I gazed up at him, my expression hopeful.
“Not quite.”
“I think I need another break.”
“What do you have in mind?” He winked suggestively.
My lips formed a pretend snarl as I narrowed my eyes to glare at him. “Jack, really. We just did that.”
Reliving our time apart was honestly a lot to take in. I longed for all this information, but to say it didn’t cause my breath to catch every few minutes would be a lie. It also scared me. If one small-town girl could be so vicious, what were big-city women capable of?
“Do you want to get out of the house for a bit? Maybe go grab a slice?” I used my newly acquired New Yorker lingo for a piece of pizza.
“I could eat,” he answered with a large grin, and I leaned in to kiss each dimple.
I pulled away slowly, the rich chocolate color of his eyes mesmerizing me, as a thought hit me. “Wait. Where are you staying? Do you have an apartment or a hotel that you need to check in to?”
Nerves raced through me as I anticipated his answer. I knew I should have been more reserved or cautious or careful, but the truth was that I wanted him to stay with me and never leave again.
“I didn’t book anything yet. I came straight here.”
Yet. He planned to live somewhere else, and I was just the first stop. “Oh. Well, did you want to do that first?” I tried to hide my disappointment, but my tone betrayed me.
His thumb traced along my jawline before resting beneath my chin. “Not really. Anything that involves leaving you I’d rather put off until later.”
Relief washed over me. My lips pressed into a tight smile as I closed my eyes. “Then don’t leave,” I whispered.
“I don’t ever want to leave you again,” he admitted, as the warmth of his lips brushed across mine.
“You could live here.” The words spilled out before I consciously thought them.
Jack’s face relaxed, a peaceful calm spreading across it. “Yeah? You want to live together?”
His questioning inflection contradicted the happy look on his face, causing me to silently curse myself for being so vulnerable. “It was just an offer. Don’t get all full of yourself over it.”
He choked back a laugh. “Nothing would make me happier, Kitten, than to know my home is where you are.”
My heart jumped and thumped against my chest with such force I was surprised I didn’t topple over. “Really?”
“Really.” His grin widened. “I wasn’t going to leave, anyway.”
“Oh yeah?”
“I didn’t move all the way across the country to live alone. I moved here to be with you. And that’s what I’m going to do. Be. With. You.” He stared into my eyes with conviction.
My insides trembled with desire, heat spreading between my thighs at his confident demeanor. “What if I told you no?” I teased.
He pressed his forehead to mine, his eyes piercing right through me. “But you didn’t. You want me here just as much as I want to be here, and I know it. I’m not leaving and you won’t make me.”
“You’re so fucking arrogant.”
“Is it really arrogance when you’re right?” His lip curled up on one side before crushing his mouth against mine. He swept his tongue teasingly across my bottom lip before he pulled away.
After all the heartache he’d put me through, nothing could compare to the way I lived in Jack’s presence. The cracks and chips in my heart slowly dragged themselves together whenever he was around. My soul pretended the past damage didn’t matter, as it tugged and pulled itself whole again. I had been shattered and broken, but my body insisted on mending itself for him.
For Jack.
Because being with him, no matter how illogical it seemed considering he was responsible for my internal carnage, completed me. We made sense together. Melissa couldn’t have been more right when she described us as “the perfect mess.” I realized her assessment held more truth now than it ever had before.
“Pizza?” I suggested again, longing for a change of location.
“Will you at least put on some clothes?”
I rolled my eyes, knowing it would piss him off. “You first.”
Best Friends
Jack
I grabbed Cassie’s hand in mine, locking our fingers together as we walked outside. I glanced around the city, noting the buildings and how different they were from everything back in Southern California. New York looked as old as it was. But it was cool as shit. Even in the chilly air, the city buzzed with an energy I’d never experienced before. New York had swagger. I liked it here already.
“There it is,” Cassie said with a smile, pointing toward a small green awning up ahead.
That was quick.
“Cool.” It looked small as hell. I hustled in front of Cass, pulling the door open before ushering her inside, my hand firmly placed on her ass.
The smell of fresh bread, cheese, and sauces overwhelmed my senses. My stomach growled as I perused the menu on the wall, the old man behind the counter studying me. I’d gotten used to being stared at, but I convinced myself this guy couldn’t possibly know who I was already. Sure, the trade was reported in the papers and online, but I hadn’t started playing with the team yet.
“What are you getting, babe?” I asked my girl, mesmerized by the long blonde hair that spilled down her back.
She’s so fucking hot. I just want to tie that hair in a knot to my bedpost.
“I’m gonna get a couple of slices.”
“Want to just get a whole pizza and then we can bring the rest home for later?”
She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Great idea! You’re so smart,” she said, before rising to her toes to kiss my cheek.
“Smart and starving. You have no food at your place. You’ll kill me, woman.”
“I know who you are!” The man’s expression turned joyful as he waved a fat finger in the air. “You’re our new pitcher! Jack…” he paused, his eyes squinting, “… Carter, right?”
Cassie’s mouth dropped open as she looked in shock between me and the man behind the counter. “Yes, sir,” I replied with a quick nod. His hand reached across the cold steel counter for mine before he extended his hand toward Cass.
“I’m Sal, sweetheart,” he grinned widely, taking her in.
See, Kitten, even old men think you’re hot.
“I’m Cassie. It’s nice to meet you. How’d you know who he was?” Cassie asked, her voice slightly stressed.
He released her hand. “I’m a huge Mets fan. I follow everything about the team. We’re all really excited to have you here. Welcome to New York!”
His voice boomed with such sincere enthusiasm that it soaked straight through my skin and into my bones. “Thank you. I’m really happy to be here.” I looked directly at Cassie, saying the last words.
“How come you aren’t with the team in Chicago?” His gray eyes fixed on me quizzically.
“They did me a favor and didn’t put me on rotation until Monday night. I flew straight here to get settled.”
“That’s wonderful. You two living in the Lower East?”
My eyes met Cassie’s quickly before responding, “We are for now.”
“Well, I’m Sal. Anything you want is on the house.”
“Oh no, Sal, you don’t have to do that. Thank you, though,” Cassie answered sweetly before I could respond. That was one of the things about being well-known, or famous, or whatever you wanted to call it that never made any sense to me. People enjoyed giving you free things when you could clearly afford them. The irony of giving free things to people with plenty of money wasn’t lost on me.
“It’s nice to meet you, Sal. And really, we’re more than happy to support your business, since I assume you’ll be supporting mine.” I smirked, noting the Mets banners and framed posters hanging on the walls.
“So, what can I get for you two?”
Cassie glanced toward me. “I just want pepperoni.”
“Can we get two large pepperoni pizzas?”
“Sure thing, Jack.” Sal turned toward the kitchen behind him and shouted, “Two large pepperoni pies.”
Pies?
As if reading my mind, Cassie leaned into my ear and whispered, “They call them pies here. And if you want a piece of pizza, they call it a slice.”
I smiled, thankful for my first lesson in New York slang. I kissed the top of her head, taking in the tiny restaurant. Two small tables huddled with old green chairs next to the oversized window. “You wanna sit?”
She nodded, choosing a table and then sitting down. I almost pinched myself to ensure this was really happening. Having Cass back in my life renewed me. I felt like a new fucking man… like I could do anything simply because this girl was with me.
I placed my hand on the table before Cass reached hers out, laying it on top of mine. Her fingers moved across my skin, and I was instantly aroused.
Get it together.
“I’m still blown away that she fought the annulment. And had all that fake paperwork and stuff. It’s crazy to me,” she said as she shook her head.