Thus the devil, who began, by the help of an irresistible poverty, to
push me into this wickedness, brought me on to a height beyond the
common rate, even when my necessities were not so great, or the
prospect of my misery so terrifying; for I had now got into a little
vein of work, and as I was not at a loss to handle my needle, it was
very probable, as acquaintance came in, I might have got my bread
honestly enough.
I must say, that if such a prospect of work had presented itself at
first, when I began to feel the approach of my miserable
circumstances--I say, had such a prospect of getting my bread by
working presented itself then, I had never fallen into this wicked
trade, or into such a wicked gang as I was now embarked with; but
practice had hardened me, and I grew audacious to the last degree; and
the more so because I had carried it on so long, and had never been
taken; for, in a word, my new partner in wickedness and I went on
together so long, without being ever detected, that we not only grew
bold, but we grew rich, and we had at one time one-and-twenty gold
watches in our hands.
I remember that one day being a little more serious than ordinary, and
finding I had so good a stock beforehand as I had, for I had near #200
in money for my share, it came strongly into my mind, no doubt from
some kind spirit, if such there be, that at first poverty excited me,
and my distresses drove me to these dreadful shifts; so seeing those
distresses were now relieved, and I could also get something towards a
maintenance by working, and had so good a bank to support me, why
should I now not leave off, as they say, while I was well? that I could
not expect to go always free; and if I was once surprised, and
miscarried, I was undone.
This was doubtless the happy minute, when, if I had hearkened to the
blessed hint, from whatsoever had it came, I had still a cast for an
easy life. But my fate was otherwise determined; the busy devil that
so industriously drew me in had too fast hold of me to let me go back;
but as poverty brought me into the mire, so avarice kept me in, till
there was no going back. As to the arguments which my reason dictated
for persuading me to lay down, avarice stepped in and said, 'Go on, go
on; you have had very good luck; go on till you have gotten four or
five hundred pounds, and they you shall leave off, and then you may
live easy without working at all.' Thus I, that was once in the devil's clutches, was held fast there as
with a charm, and had no power to go without the circle, till I was
engulfed in labyrinths of trouble too great to get out at all.