So I resolved to unbosom myself to her. I told her the history of my

Lancashire marriage, and how both of us had been disappointed; how we

came together, and how we parted; how he absolutely discharged me, as

far as lay in him, free liberty to marry again, protesting that if he

knew it he would never claim me, or disturb or expose me; that I

thought I was free, but was dreadfully afraid to venture, for fear of

the consequences that might follow in case of a discovery.

Then I told her what a good offer I had; showed her my friend's two

last letters, inviting me to come to London, and let her see with what

affection and earnestness they were written, but blotted out the name,

and also the story about the disaster of his wife, only that she was

dead.

She fell a-laughing at my scruples about marrying, and told me the

other was no marriage, but a cheat on both sides; and that, as we were

parted by mutual consent, the nature of the contract was destroyed, and

the obligation was mutually discharged. She had arguments for this at

the tip of her tongue; and, in short, reasoned me out of my reason; not

but that it was too by the help of my own inclination.

But then came the great and main difficulty, and that was the child;

this, she told me in so many words, must be removed, and that so as

that it should never be possible for any one to discover it. I knew

there was no marrying without entirely concealing that I had had a

child, for he would soon have discovered by the age of it that it was

born, nay, and gotten too, since my parley with him, and that would

have destroyed all the affair.

But it touched my heart so forcibly to think of parting entirely with

the child, and, for aught I knew, of having it murdered, or starved by

neglect and ill-usage (which was much the same), that I could not think

of it without horror. I wish all those women who consent to the

disposing their children out of the way, as it is called, for decency

sake, would consider that 'tis only a contrived method for murder; that

is to say, a-killing their children with safety.

It is manifest to all that understand anything of children, that we are

born into the world helpless, and incapable either to supply our own

wants or so much as make them known; and that without help we must

perish; and this help requires not only an assisting hand, whether of

the mother or somebody else, but there are two things necessary in that

assisting hand, that is, care and skill; without both which, half the

children that are born would die, nay, though they were not to be

denied food; and one half more of those that remained would be cripples

or fools, lose their limbs, and perhaps their sense. I question not

but that these are partly the reasons why affection was placed by

nature in the hearts of mothers to their children; without which they

would never be able to give themselves up, as 'tis necessary they

should, to the care and waking pains needful to the support of their

children.




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