What's taking them so long?" Dee said.
Audrey and Michael had gone off to see if they could find Zach, who they figured must be around here somewhere. Or if they could find water-or a blanket-or something-for Jenny.
Jenny was in bad shape. She was slumped against the slanting mirrored wall opposite Summer's door -what had been Summer's door. There wasn't a trace of the exit from Summer's nightmare left, but Jenny wouldn't leave this place.
Jenny ached. All she could think of, in between waves of grayness, was Summer. Summer had joined their group in fourth grade, after she, Tom, Dee, Zach, and Michael were already friends. Tiny, muddled, and very sweet, Summer had needed to be taken care of, and taking care was what Jenny did best.
But not this time. This time Jenny had screwed up. And Summer was gone.
Jenny still didn't believe it had really happened. Summer would come walking out of that mirror any second now, all thistledown hair and dark blue eyes. Any second now.
Summer didn't.
Jenny let her head drop back against the wall.
"I'm going to look for them," Dee said. "They've been too long, they might be in trouble. You stay here, okay? Promise you'll stay right here." Her voice was slow and clear, the voice you'd use to talk to a child.
Eyes shut, Jenny made some slight motion with her head.
"Okay. I'll be back in a minute."
Jenny's mind drifted back into a haze. Summer climbing a tree at camp, Summer at Newport Beach falling off a surfboard, Summer at school chewing on a pencil. Summer laughing, Summer puzzled, Summer's blue eyes filled with tears.
She didn't have a mean bone in her body, Jenny thought. She was a good person. Something like this can't happen to a good person.
Can it?
She saw the flash even through closed lids.
Summer! she thought, opening her eyes. But the mirror in front of her showed only her own pale, anxious face and disarrayed hair.
Maybe it had come from the side. Which way? On her feet, Jenny looked to the right and left, dazzled by the multiple reflections. She didn't even know which way Dee had gone.
She went right, veering back and forth around the zigzag mirrors.
Turning a corner, she saw dozens of reflections of a round blue light bulb.
She caught her breath sharply. The blue light was on, the red button beneath it was depressed. Beside it was a dark rectangle-an open door.
Numb to caution, Jenny poked her head in. She could see only darkness inside. None of the light from the hallway seemed to penetrate.
Had Audrey and Michael gone in here? Had Dee? Could Summer -
With a click the button popped out, the door began to close. Jenny had an instant to choose: jump back or jump forward. She jumped forward.
The door slid noiselessly shut behind her, and she stared around, trying to see in the gloom. She could make out shapes like a row of shelves, something on a tripod, a tall lamp. Then she knew where she was. It was dim simply because the lights were off.
As her eyes adjusted she recognized a giant mural print on one wall. It showed cafeteria tables stacked in a glorious pyramid, one trash can on each end at each level-a marvel of engineering. Jenny knew that picture well. She, Tom, and Dee had spent an entire night stacking those tables and listening to Zach's imperious demands for "one more shot." It had been one of the more hysterical and terrifying adventures of their sophomore year.
This was her cousin Zach's garage, converted into a studio. It felt almost like home-but there was no one in sight.
The darkroom, Jenny thought, and followed the special L-shaped hallway Zach had built-a light trap, he called it-to the little room nestled within
the garage. She pushed aside the curtain at the entrance.
The amber safe light shone on a single figure's back, on a flannel shirt and a casual ponytail.
"Zach!" Jenny ran to him, but he didn't turn around. "Zach, it's me, Jenny. Zach-what are you
doing?"
He was gently rocking a tray full of chemicals with a print in it. His body was stiff and resistant, but Jenny turned him by force. Even in this light she could see he looked-tranced. The look she'd seen first in the living room when he'd insisted on turning more game cards, and then in the parlor when all the rest of them were freaking out.
"Oh, Zach, what's wrong with you?" she said and threw her arms around him. She'd been worried about him all night; she'd been planning to comfort him, to help. But now she didn't have the strength. She desperately needed help herself.
He scarcely seemed to notice she was there. He pushed her away and turned back to agitating the tray.
"Zachary, did Dee come in here? Have you seen Audrey or Michael?"
His voice was slow, dragging, but matter-of-fact.
"I haven't seen anybody. I was sitting out there. Where the mirrors are. Then I saw a flashgun go off. When I looked for it, I found a door. I pushed the button and went in."
A flashgun-of course, that was how Zach would interpret the bursts of light in the hallway. "But what are you doing?" Jenny said.
"It was all set up for me. The print was already in the developer." Somewhere a timer went off, and he pulled away from Jenny's reaching hand. "I have to rinse it now."
Jenny blinked painfully as he turned the white light on. She watched his careful, clever fingers as he rinsed the print and plastered it wetly against the wall, standing back to evaluate it, frowning.
"Zach, please. You have to listen." The numbness over Summer was wearing off. Zach was her blood relative, and right here, and in trouble. In this light she could see how pale his narrow face was. She could also see the fixed look in his clear gray eyes. "Don't you realize this is your nightmare? We can't waste time-we have to find a door to get out. Zach!"
He pushed her away again. "I have to finish this job. I have to ..."
She was barely in time to catch him as he collapsed. But when she did he didn't push her away again. He clung to her like a frightened child.
"Jenny ... sorry..."
"It's okay." She held him tightly, almost rocking him. "It's okay, I'm here. That's what cousins are for."
After a minute he tried to straighten up, but she still held him, encouraging him to hold her back. She needed comfort as much as he did, and Zach had always been there for her. Before their families had moved out to California, she and Zach had lived next door to each other. They'd played Indians in the cherry orchard behind their houses. That was in the days before Zach decided he liked photographs better than people, when Zach's gray eyes had been warm instead of winter-cool.
Her cousin's mind was obviously following the same track. "Just like when we were kids," he said with what was probably supposed to be a laugh.
"And you'd get all scraped up climbing trees, and we'd wash you with the hose so Aunt Lil wouldn't get mad," Jenny said. She laughed, herself, muffled against Zach's shoulder. It was almost like crying. "Oh, Zach, I'm so glad I found you."
"Me, too." He sighed. "I've been feeling pretty weird."
"Everything's been awful," Jenny said, and once again her voice was shaking badly. "I've been so scared-and now ..."
She couldn't bring herself to mention Summer. The words stuck in her throat.
"It's okay," he said. "We're together now. We'll make things okay."
A hose and a Band-Aid aren't going to help this time, Jenny thought, but it was easier just to hold on to Zach. Tighter and tighter. Exchanging comfort without words. He was stroking her hair and it felt good-soothing. She seemed to feel strength flowing from his body to hers.
And something else. A warmth that surprised her. Zach was usually so cool. Now he was holding her and caressing her almost as if she were some toddler that needed pacifying.
Or-as if he weren't her cousin, but her boyfriend.
She pushed the thought away. Zach was just being kind. He wanted to help-and he was helping. She felt better, simply absorbing his sympathy, his affection. His-tenderness.
She leaned against him, letting him support her weight. Feeling secure. Cared for. Safe.
When he kissed the back of her neck, it was so tenderly it didn't disturb the safe feeling. Zach was nice. She loved him; she was happy to know he loved her.
When he kissed her again, an unexpected tremor ran through her.
Now-she wasn't supposed to feel like that. Not with Zach. He shouldn't-he really shouldn't....
But she didn't want to pull away from him or spoil the moment.
His lips were warm on the back of her neck. A shock of sweetness passed through Jenny, this time too strong to be ignored. That felt-she knew she mustn't feel that way. Her hands went up to his arms, to push at him.
"Zach," she whispered. "I think we're both-a little upset. We're not ourselves."
"I know," Zach said, as if it hurt him. "I'm sorry-I ..." He straightened, loosening his grip a little, but then he kissed her hair. She felt his lips moving, felt his warm breath there.
"Zachary," she said. "It's wrong. We're cousins." The problem was that although her words were strong, her voice wasn't. She could barely breathe. And she didn't move away.
"Half cousins," he said. It was true, although Jenny seldom thought of it-her mother and his were only half sisters. "And besides, I can't help it. 1 can't help it." His kisses were coming faster.
His urgency caught Jenny in a rush of elemental feeling. She kept thinking, but there's something else-without remembering what the something was. Then she whispered, "But, Tom..."-and shock swept over her.
She hadn't thought about Tom since-since -
She couldn't remember when.