"Hey! It's the contest girl. That bitch!" I wondered when someone would recognize me. Too bad it was one of the red-headed friends of the corseted queen. Their leather leader turned, noticed me, and waved a hand. Then, like a bacteria absorbing nutrients, the perimeter of women surrounding her opened up, and I was brought in. I stood face to face with the kinkiest groupie I'd ever seen.
Whoever she was, she didn't seem happy. "Well, if it isn't the contest whore. How's the bus, bitch? Fucked Chuck yet?" She had to yell to be heard over the pounding music.
I shouted back a reply. "No, I think he's more your speed." I wanted to suggest that we just ask him. After all, he was standing right in front of us on the stage. I glanced up and saw his eyes on the two of us, watching us carefully. Of course, when I looked again I realized that he was watching her carefully, not me. I couldn't blame him.
The song ended and in the relative silence, the queen bee lashed out at me. "I hope you die!"
It's always nice to know where you stand when meeting new people. And in the case of this woman, I stood in a very difficult place. I needed to say something in response to her death threat, so I tossed back a light quip. "Why? Are you second in line?" I gave her a little grin.
She didn't even crack a smile. In fact, her frown only deepened. Okay, fine. Humor wasn't going to work here, so I went for flattery, something that she seemed to desperately want. I stepped back and gave her an approving nod. "Honestly, you look super hot! I've got to tell you how impressed I am with your outfit. Chuck will love it-I'm sure he'll fuck you."
She practically snarled at me. "You stupid cunt! I've fucked him plenty of times." Why was I not surprised?
"Well then, you're way ahead of me. Look, don't let me stop you from doing him here in Chicago or anytime I'm on the bus. I promise I won't get in your way." I can be quite accommodating when I try.
But it didn't work. She clenched her fists and seemed to tighten every muscle in her body. I couldn't win with this one, so I decided it was time to make myself scarce. But before I could move, she hauled off and slapped me across the face. Really hard! Then, just in case I had forgotten her earlier death threat or had otherwise thought we were becoming fast friends, she screamed, "Die!"