I looked down at her, saw she was crying, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"NO!" I yelled, my head thrown back.
I jerked myself off her, falling beside her on the wooden floor. I lay there panting, cursing, feeling the urge to come inside her pounding through my body.
"Mac."
Her voice seemed a long way away, but I knew she was lying beside me.
"Are you all right?"
There wasn't any more fear in her voice, just relief. I turned onto my side to face her. She was looking at me, and she was smiling. It was then I saw that her hands were tied over her head, her legs open and tied at the ankles. She was helpless. I wasn't. I wasn't quite naked. I still had on my running shoes and shirt.
I took deep breaths, over and over, just kept sucking in air and blowing out, trying desperately to clear my mind.
I reached out my hand to touch her, then pulled it back. I wasn't strong enough yet.
Tears were still on her cheeks. I couldn't bear it. I touched her then, wiping the tears away with my fingers. "I'm so sorry, Laura. What happened?"
"They drugged us."
I made the mistake of looking down her body. I gritted my teeth and rolled away. I was still hard. I jumped to my feet, grabbed my clothes off the floor, and quickly pulled my shorts and pants on.
I felt more normal now that I was dressed. Fight it, I said to myself over and over. Just fight it.
I came down on my knees beside her. Her legs were wide apart, her ankles tied to small rings fastened in the floor.
"I'm sorry," I said. "God, I'm sorry. I didn't realize, didn't know-"
"You weren't the one who tied me down, Mac. I'm all right. You managed to stop."
My hands were shaking. It took awhile for me to untie the knots around her wrists and ankles. Slowly, she pulled her legs together and sat up. She was rubbing her wrists. "Thank you, Mac."
"Where are your clothes?"
"I don't know."
I stripped off my shirt and handed it to her. As I watched her pull it on and fasten the buttons, my mind started to feel heavy and dull. The urge to have her was receding now. I could control it.
She rose and walked to the narrow bed in the corner of the small room we were in. My shirt came down to her thighs. She sat on the side of the bed, rubbing her wrists.
I sat beside her. I wasn't about to touch her. I was afraid that if I did, I'd lose it again. "Tell me what happened. Where are we?"
"I don't speak Spanish so I don't know what they were saying.
"You were awake but still very groggy. I watched them inject you." She shuddered.
I pulled her against me, holding her tightly. "We beat them," I said as I rubbed her back, "we're both all right."
She said against my shoulder, "I think it was all a game to them. They wanted to have some fun. They took my clothes and tied me down. Then they set you on me like a stallion over a mare. They put your face between my legs. When they pulled you back, they were laughing. Then one of the men, probably the leader, said something and they left us alone." She was silent again. I kissed her hair, kept rubbing her back. "It's all right," I said.
"Only because you came out of it enough to see what you were doing. I didn't think you'd be able to stop, Mac. Oh God, it was awful."
She'd been tied down, naked, helpless. I closed my eyes a moment against the enormity of it. If I hadn't been able to stop myself, then- 'They wanted me to rape you?"
"Apparently. Funny thing, knowing it was you but that you weren't really there made it worse. You weren't my Mac. You were a stranger who didn't care who I was. You had my scent, knew I was female, and that was enough. That drug was in control."
"The drug," I said slowly. "Remember you told me the drug had some effect on sex?"
"Yes. This had to be it, what we've been looking for. They used it on you to see what it would do to you."
I wanted to kill them. They'd treated us like animals. We'd been used for sport to see what the damned drug would do.
"They probably gave you a lot more than one would inject for a sex high."
"That figures. I didn't really feel like I was having the time of my life."
I felt her smile against my shoulder. I squeezed her. "Did they hurt you?"
"Not that I can tell. I don't know how long we've been out. But they brought me out of it with smelling salts.
They wanted me fully awake when they set you on me. God, Mac, it was awful. I couldn't do anything and you were gone. Then I saw you come back, just a bit, and that's when I talked to you until finally you got control back."