“That's all very well,” Nynaeve said, “but we will still be Accepted, and it is Aes Sedai we're after. Any full sister can tell us to go about our business, or send us off to do her laundry, and we will have no choice but to obey. There are places Accepted are not supposed to go, things we're not supposed to do. Light, if we were sure a sister was Black Ajah, she could tell the guards to lock us in our rooms and keep us there, and they would do it. They certainly would not take the word of an Accepted over that of an Aes Sedai.”
“For the most part,” the Amyrlin said, “you must work within the limitations of the Accepted. The idea is for no one to suspect you. But...” She opened the black box on her table, hesitated and looked at the other two women as if still unsure she wanted to do this, then took out a number of stiff, folded papers. Sorting through them carefully, she hesitated again, then chose out two. The remainder she shoved back into the box, and handed those two to Egwene and Nynaeve. “Keep these well hidden. They are for an emergency only.”
Egwene unfolded her thick paper. It held writing in a neat, round hand, and was sealed at the bottom with the White Flame of Tar Valon.
What the bearer does is done at my order and by my authority. Obey, and keep silent, at my command.
Siuan Sanche
Watcher of the Seals
Flame of Tar Valon
The Amyrlin Seat
“I could do anything with this,” Nynaeve said in a wondering voice. “Order the guards to march. Command the Warders.” She gave a little laugh. “I could make a Warder dance, with this.”
“Until I found out about it,” the Amyrlin agreed dryly. “Unless you had a very convincing reason, I'd make you wish Liandrin had caught you.”
“I didn't mean to do any of that,” Nynaeve said hastily. “I just meant that it gives more authority than I had imagined.”
“You may need every shred of it. But just you remember, child. A Darkfriend won't heed that any more than a Whitecloak would. They would both likely kill you just for having it. If that paper is a shield... well, paper shields are flimsy, and this one may have a target painted on it.”
“Yes, Mother,” Egwene and Nynaeve said together. Egwene folded her paper up and tucked it into her belt pouch, resolving not to take it out again unless she absolutely had to. And how will I know when that is?
“What about Mat?” Nynaeve asked. “He's very sick, Mother, and he does not have much time left.”
“I will send word to you,” the Amyrlin said curtly.
“But, Mother —”
“I will send word to you! Now, off with you, children. The hope of the Tower rests in your hands. Go to your rooms and get some rest. Remember, you have appointments with Sheriam, and with the pots.”
Chapter 15
(Female Silhouettes)
The Gray Man
Outside the Amyrlin Seat's study, Egwene and Nynaeve found the corridors empty except for an occasional serving woman, hurrying about her duties on softslippered feet. Egwene was grateful for their presence. The halls suddenly seemed like caverns, for all the tapestries and stonework. Dangerous caverns.
Nynaeve strode along purposefully, tugging at her braid fitfully again, and Egwene hurried to keep up. She did not want to be left alone.
“If the Black Ajah is still here, Nynaeve, and if they even suspect what we're doing... I hope you didn't mean what you said about acting as if we are already bound by the Three Oaths. I don't intend to let them kill me, not if I can stop it by channeling.”
“If any of them are still here, Egwene, they will know what we are doing as soon as they see us.” Despite what she was saying, Nynaeve sounded preoccupied. “Or at least they will see us as a threat, and that's much the same thing as far as what they will do.”
“How will they see us as a threat? Nobody is threatened by someone they can order about. Nobody is threatened by someone who has to scrub pots and turn the spits three times a day. That's why the Amyrlin is putting us to work in the kitchens. Part of the reason, anyway.”
“Perhaps the Amyrlin did not think it through,” Nynaeve said absently. “Or perhaps she did, and means something different for us than what she claims. Think, Egwene. Liandrin would not have tried to put us out of the way unless she thought we were a threat to her. I can't imagine how, or to what, but I cannot see how it could have changed, either. If there are any Black Ajah still here, they will surely see us the same way, whether they suspect what we're doing or not.”
Egwene swallowed. “I hadn't thought of that. Light, I wish I were invisible. Nynaeve, if they are still after us, I will risk being stilled before I let Darkfriends kill me, or maybe worse. And I won't believe you will let them take you, either, no matter what you told the Amyrlin.”
“I meant it.” For a moment Nynaeve seemed to rouse from her thoughts. Her steps slowed. A palehaired novice carrying a tray rushed past. “I meant every word, Egwene.” Nynaeve went on when the novice was out of hearing. “There are other ways to defend ourselves. If there were not, Aes Sedai would be killed every time they left the Tower. We just have to reason those ways out, and use them.”
“I know several ways already, and so do you.”
“They are dangerous.” Egwene opened her mouth to say they were only dangerous to whoever attacked her, but Nynaeve plowed on over her. “You can come to like them too much. When I let out all my anger at those Whitecloaks this morning... It felt too good. It is too dangerous.” She shivered and quickened her pace again, and Egwene had to step lively to catch up.
“You sound like Sheriam. You never have before. You have pushed every limit they've put on you. Why would you accept limits now, when we might have to ignore them to stay alive?”
“What good if it ends with us being put out of the Tower? Stilled or not, what good then?” Nynaeve's voice dropped as if she were speaking to herself. “I can do it. I must, if I'm to stay here long enough to learn, and I must learn if I'm to — ” Suddenly she seemed to realize she was speaking aloud. She shot a hard look at Egwene, and her voice firmed. “Let me think. Please, be quiet and let me think.”
Egwene held her tongue, but inside she bubbled with unasked questions. What special reason did Nynaeve have for wanting to learn more of what the White Tower could teach? What was it she wanted to do? Why was Nynaeve keeping it secret from her? Secrets. We've learned to keep too many secrets since coming to the Tower. The Amyrlin it keeping secrets from us, too. Light, what is